* smells like wet dog...

| any pronouns | 21+ |

[pjackk]

Male sluts -- please do NOT bother me no more. Im tryuing to live a simple life

[lanadelreyquasa]

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

[kaibas-paragraphical-mind]

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

[who-the-f-ck]

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

[shitsuren-chama]

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid

taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 

every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again

and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.

[elvenrainbow]

[bogleech]

I don’t see how this is much of a downside

When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

[revereche-deactivated20140508]

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

[perpetualcombustioninstruct-blog]

That’s great but have you considered

~cosplay

~Halloween costumes

~acting

~cosplay

~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces

~cosplay

~cosplay

~COSPLAY

[solsolecito]

imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry”

[brightlotusmoon]

“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”

“Don’t antagonize the fae.”

“I AM the fae, Susan.”

[aqueerkettleofish]

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?” “We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.”

[frolicking-cat]

Iconic post

[themoss-deactivated20210919]

LEMME BE A DRAGON I DONT CARE IF YOU KNOW ITS ME

I’ve seriously only seen screenshots of this post before though

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

This is legendary

[ghalind]

“I AM HERE FOR YOUR SOULS”

“George, did you forget your coffee?”

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

ok but like the only difference here is if you dont press it you cant shapeshift. theres no loss in pressing it

[soraitmnt]

Look I can’t shapeshift now, at least after I’ll be able to shapeshift

[letsstartafamilywellinvitewelove]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[steelblaidd]

I could be anything.

[thedragonemperess]

“BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW QUEEN! I SHALL RULE THIS WORLD WITH THE POWER OF MY SOUL THAT CAN NOT AND SHALL NOT ABIDE BY YOUR PETTY MORTAL RULES! NO ONE ON THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE CAN STOP ME, FOR I SHALL STEAL ALL YOUR SOULS AND RISE TO BECOME AS POWERFUL AS A GOD!!!”

“Susan, calm the fuck down, it was just one donut, I said I’m sorry.”

[please-grow-a-brain]

Transition speedrun

[boyflesher-deactivated20230106]

death will not do us part you stupid cunt

[fag4butch]

*sighs dreamily* what a fucking weirdo

[gay-poseidon-deactivated2025051]

*twirling hair* what a fucking freak

[nikipuppeteer]

*giggles fondly* what a fucking idiot

[cupcraft]

*kicking feet* what a fucking chump

[ctntduoarchive]

*bats eyes* what a fucking loser

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

When I am emperor, I will make everyone who refers to women’s leg hair removal as “basic hygiene” fight to the death in my coliseum.

[eilooxara]

finally it will be understood that I am doing it not for hygiene but for slut reasons

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

sluts are welcome in my empire, be they hairy or smooth

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Confused, but cautiously willing to welcome these slippery people into my empire so long as I can put down some plastic drop clothes over the couches before they sit down, and provided they do not become evangelical or moralizing about their thigh slime. (Why stop at thighs? Why not emulate the valiant eel and opt for a full mucusoid coat?)

[deathsmallcaps]

This probably refers to people whose thighs touch and chafe when they’re wearing shorts or skirts

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Aww, and here I was planning an imperial holiday called Slime Fest, with mandatory public slimings.

Very well, anti-chafing measures are permissible. I want my subjects to be comfortable (when they are not fighting to the death obviously).

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

your highness can we still have slime fest?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

*imperial majesty thx

[its-gremlin-time]

Imperial majesty, can we still have the slime fest?

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

hmmmmmm

no I’m too sad that the eel people don’t exist and I shall declare an Imperial Day of Sulking instead

all are welcome

[realquickwhatshouldwecallyu]

The imperial Majesty Sulking

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

for three hours each day we will open the doors of the palace to the public so that my subjects may view their emperor sulking about the eel people from the royal observation chamber

there will be hors d'oeuvre

[reffitt-blog1]

Imperial Majesty, bring back Slime Fest or the people shall revolt

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

don’t threaten me with a good time

[just-shower-thoughts]

Crispy bacon is technically a kind of animal cracker

[deaddolin]

the tumpet. bwaaaa

[joysplosion]

I think the funniest fucking thing ever is that people look at huggy wuggy and go “scrimbly scronk 🥺” and he fucking looks like THIS

[s0ggydxg]

he's just a lil guy 🥺 a lil guy who hungy and wants a snack

[titkoks]

the comments on this video killed me

[anais-ninja-bitch]

if you’re too young or not american, what you need to know about Betty White is that she has been on american television for as long as american television has existed, and before that she was a radio star. she belongs to every living generation of americans, and she will be so so missed.

time to watch some “Golden Girls” and fucking weep.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

she was nominated for an emmy 23 times (won 6), which is pretty impressive in any event, but she also had a successful career in entertainment years before the award even existed.

[prismatic-bell]

She was on AT LEAST two groundbreaking TV shows that I know of (keep in mind I don’t pop culture, so for me to know two means there were undoubtedly more): The Golden Girls of course, where elderly women were allowed to have full and vibrant lives, but also The Mary Tyler Moore Show, which was one of the first sitcoms about 1) a female main character who 2) was not married and 3) was self-sufficient with no need for a father, brother, close male friend, etc. to ‘save her from herself’. It’s been cited as a key work in the second-wave feminist movement and much of it still holds up and is relevant today.

An actor is lucky if they get to be on one “show that changed the world” in their lifetime. Betty White managed AT LEAST TWO.

[idontevenknowwhatimdoingbruh]

Let alone the fact that she was a major advocate for animals and the environment. Betty White was a good woman who did her best to fight for everyone, especially animals. If there is one bit of solace we can get it’s that she’s with her true love again.

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

She had her own talk show and featured black performers* and when criticized for it, she said GET USED TO IT

and that got her show canceled.  Betty.  White.  Really cared for her fellow humans.

*Invisible disability haver here.  I have run out of spoons & still need to eat & shower.  Feel free to find this man’s name - he was one of my favorites as a child and even knowing that, i’m losing his name - and add it on if you know/can. I’m sorry I lost steam so soon.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

Arthur Duncan. from the rolling stone obit:

“She was just the perfect person. This is a tremendous loss,” tap-dancing legend Arthur Duncan tells Rolling Stone. Duncan, 88, was a regular featured performer on White’s NBC variety talk show, The Betty White Show, in the Fifties. When some Southern stations objected to his appearances due to his skin color, White refused to budge on his inclusion. “There was some resistance that was put up. Some people were calling in and objecting to me being on the show. She just thrust it off like it was nothing,” he says.

“It’s very heart-warming that she so preciously pursued fairness,” he adds. “She had so much respect for the people who surrounded her. She just loved everybody. And everybody loved her. I’ve never heard one unkind word about her.” Duncan adds that White gave him his “first shot” in television. “I know at the time, it was such a surprise that I went on that show. I’ll never, never forget what she did for me and many others. I have so much respect and love for her.”

An 'Original' 'Role Model' Who Fought for Her Co-Stars and Swilled Vodka and Hot Dogs: Stars Remember Betty White

Seth Meyers, Ryan Reynolds, Jenny Lewis, and more pay tribute to the late, great icon

[saintshigaraki]

big deadly terrifying monsters treating their human lovers with an adoring sort of gentleness…it’s very personal to me

[memewhore]

[underfell-crystal]

Life is too hard. Wish to become soup.

[lamecoffeeguy]

Wish to become blade of grass

[sweet-key]

showing severe symptoms of “needs a kiss” disease

[s0ggydxg]

So my alter, Luca, drew these bc he wanted to draw himself and his boyfriends. God this man is so gay for them and it's adorable. He also wants to mention that he drew these with only a mouse. ~🐶Milo/Kirbee (host)

[17blcak]

Reblog if I can go on your page and write stupid things in your ask box whenever I'd like to.

[crayyola-deactivated20220827]

wtf do you say after you kiss someone? 

[alexyquest]

don’t forget to like and subscribe

[s0ggydxg]

and don't forget to ring the bell so never miss another