sad fire

writes stuff. any pronouns

[lambda-larry]

But.. she wants to be a hero :(

[elwensa]

Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf

[boringkate]

Me: *touching my girlfriend*

My girlfriend: *touching me*

Me (thinking to myself): This is so fucked up of me. I'm being so selfish rn. I'm getting to feel her touch AND to touch her. What's she even getting in return? Probably nothing comparable.

[sad-fire]

im not saying that my fear of being an intruder in any company is related to me being transfem, but im like not not saying it

[xsf0]

Probably more medical detail than opsec calls for, but there's practically zero research on nonbinary chemical gender transition — so I'm throwing my trip report into the collective 'net.

I am nearly 29, knew I was trans since 17 and I have been on HRT (estrogen) on and off for the past 18 months with testosterone for the last 6. Currently: 8mg Estradiol Enanthate weekly, plus 25mg testosterone weekly.

The hypothesis: The body auto-converts excess T→E and excess E→T, so it can handle high levels of both without much trouble. Women regularly take testosterone during menopause — this should be doable.

My theory: Take high E to block natural T production, then supplement a tiny bit of T to compensate. Should keep everything contextually balanced.

Six months in, and I just got my labs back. My doctor (not amused by this experiment) is shocked: I'm healthier than I've ever been across every metabolic marker. Dead center on every single metric. Blood pressure normal (first time ever). Weight stable. I have some breast growth starting, but no solidified nodules — so with raloxifene I could revert 90%+ if I wanted (TBD). They are very sensitive, for better or worse.

I have noticed my body becoming more feminine (appreciated), which is saying something since I am naturally broad and muscular. Think of a very masc blacksmith-NPC-character-model kind of build. I have curves now. Skin is overall softer. Body hair is much thinner (previously was bold, black, and gnarly). Face is smoother, jawline more defined, but the face itself is a bit rounder, especially in the cheeks.

Mental state is solid. Making real progress on projects, feeling hopeful, taking more risks and actually being comfortable with it. More open, more outgoing. Before this was quite depressed, anxious, paranoid, unable to make decisions, and just felt worthless, now its the exact opposite - I have tried every anti-depressant around, and had great luck with LSD, but this has been by far the most 'calm', happy, and level-headed I have ever been. That said, on pure estrogen, my mental clarity is certainly sharper. The combo is still clear enough though.

I understand why most queer people hate these kinds of reports (archived) and this kind of experimentation, trust me my friends make that very clear. And sure, I'm probably still denying plenty of things to myself. But , from a research perspective, this has always fascinated me, and the literature is so thin that I might as well add a small, informal case study to the mix.

[reallyveryhuman]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"but they support [dictator] and [violent action]!" okay is it possible that a combination of propaganda, election rigging, and authoritarian crackdowns on dissent could lead a population to look like it supports something most people would find distasteful under more reasonable circumstances

[sad-fire]

first base: sex. second base: holding hands. third base: crying in her arms.

[sad-fire]

“o max, who are so learned in the ways of love, which base is actually saying “I love you” instead of dancing around the topic?”

dunno. haven’t reached that stage yet.

[sad-fire]

first base: sex. second base: holding hands. third base: crying in her arms.

[sad-fire]

switch for switch is the most honorable kind of sex. we’re meeting as equals. one of us might be defeated today, but it will be in a fair duel. if I am to be pinned to the bed, it will be by a mighty warrior who has proven her worth in battle.

[ministarfruit]

people are still thirsting over emoji angel in my notifs so this one's for you guys. I see you.

[ace-trainer-alice]

On the other hand, I think that in 'wrapping up the intimate side of mind control fantasies for others', if I want to really make it 'hot' to engage with from sub side, I shouldn't mark it 'cute' so much as 'pathetic'.

Or, there is an eroticism to be found in the degree to which such reaching to control and manipulate itself reflects a kind of vulnerability. I can't handle you as you, and I need to break you. The intimacy of experiencing such desires and seeing them in their entirety. I am showing you a weakness of mine, and by letting it be a weakness, it is a more genuine and honest reflection. Which for my partner can greatly enhance the scene.

Thus, it can be really hot to present the 'mind controller' as a little too desperate. A little too antsy for power over you. Still I do prefer to write her as 'perfect' in her control. A power fantasy of manipulation. But she's a little too fast to show off her power. A little too anxious to see you as hers. A little too weak to handle the idea of you ever not being hers. And you can find that 'cute', yes, but I think 'pathetic' is more accurate.

[sad-fire]

fuck it’s good to be back

I was banned for a while for unspecified reasons, and then they restored me (still not specifying any reason)

hope that doesn’t happen again lol

[ninanation]

Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people

[sad-fire]

I rarely reblog stuff like that, but this is horrifying and worker solidarity means international worker solidarity. I checked some links provided by OP to see where foreigners can donate:

— SEEDS India — works on disaster relief, especially focusing on climate-related disasters. you can see what they do in their annual report (pages 23–25 are specifically about heat waves). donate here: https://seedsindia.org/donation/

— Mahila Housing Trust — women-led climate and urban development organization. I’m less sure what they do right now, since I wasn’t able to find a report or a news page, but “equitable access to water and sanitation” and “building climate resilience and energy efficiency” are their first two practice areas. they don’t have a specific heat-wave-related fundraiser going on, but you can donate to their general fund: https://www.mahilahousingtrust.org/donate-now/

— Give.do — more general charity aggregator. you can donate to sponsor meals, water, and medical bills. in particular, their Help end hunger campaign definitely accepts foreign donations (unfortunately, their “right to clean water” and 2026 heatwave campaigns do not). you can see all their campaigns (including a lot of individual fundraisers) on their main page: https://give.do/

help if you’re able. consider sharing if you are not. I’m planning to try to get my local socialist organization to do a more organized fundraiser, maybe you can do something similar. let’s help people hurt by climate change.

[sad-fire]

my transfem comrades, did any of you notice excessive sleepiness on HRT? I’m trying to figure out if that’s related to E or a separate issue. (I know I should ask a doctor probably, but that’s complicated for Reasons, so I’m asking a Tumblr Transfem Hivemind as the next best option instead)

[contemporary-reference]

I went down a rabbit hole.

[2808-november-mutt]

i'm always saying this