my drug is my baby @sadgayvillian - Tumblr Blog

I could feel it from her eyes

The affection grew colder

I denied and denied to keep you safe

maybe in another life you would be mine

lord knows I still crave it

I’m just not good for you

or anyone, actually.

I ache and ache and hope for better days and act in accordance to such but hopelessness is around every corner. life just holds a complication to it, knife to throat i croak emotion that i lack for months on end just for it to suffocate me out of the blue.

//lexi howard x f!reader//

The free sapphire clashes with the mellow burn in the day, as hours past there is no evidence of the glow that once lit up East Highland.

Y/n finds herself residing under the dark over head that is slightly divided with fixed spots of light, with the moonlight attempting to hold its own in the deprived night. Her relaxed state is disturbed by the awakening of her phone, a call. One she’d been awaiting, of course. Swiping to accept the call as soon as she saw ‘Lexi Howard.’

Lexi found herself in the exact field she’d always retreat to for space, this time at the referral of her closest friend and honestly, though she struggled to even fathom it, the girl she truly had been in love with for some time now. The younger Howard couldn’t pin point exactly when she realised, caught up in the burdens everyone else around her dumped upon her. She felt used and heavy mostly, but not around Y/n, almost like she made it easy for Lexi to fall for her.

After an hour of the latest social updates, mockery of the agonising essays endured in history and a slight rant on the dramatic and controversial actions of Lexi’s sister, Cassie - your eyes remained fixated, moving with Lexi as she sits up. Feeling encouraged to do the same, you prompt yourself up, meeting Lexi’s hazel eyes that always seemed to have a slight spark to them. “Is everything okay, Lex?”Simply glaring back in the build up to true courage, she finally holds her lips to yours and the world is suddenly, only to the two of you, at peace. her motive? supposedly, she wanted to become one with the comforting words you provided at her every crime. yet, she tells you of the fears she has that she fails to portray anything as meaningful when you fall victim, Lexi found herself feeling that her way with words just wasn’t good enough for someone as so caring as you, who always sacrificed your own time and energy into helping those around you. Lexi felt lucky that she had someone so committed in her life, who actually bothered to pursue her with questions of her days events and how they made her feel. “Lex, you know…just being with you makes me feel comforted. Not to sound cliché but i’d do literally anything to see you smile. I just want you to be happy. I wholeheartedly love you.” the confession falls before you even have a chance to fully process the words you’ve thought for a while.

*yeah uh it’s kinda short and i was bored idk:)*