Natalie

lame but maybe kinda cool

[hakuteeth]

Me as hozier liking this tweet

[pukicho]

[kiyokospeaks]

The more I see of Eric Andre the more I’m convinced he is some chaotic neutral trickster god sent to the mortal plane to torment us

[averagefairy]

old people really need to learn how to text accurately to the mood they’re trying to represent like my boss texted me wondering when my semester is over so she can start scheduling me more hours and i was like my finals are done the 15th! And she texts back “Yay for you….” how the fuck am i supposed to interpret that besides passive aggressive

[runawaymarbles]

Someone needs to do a linguistic study on people over 50 and how they use the ellipsis. It’s FASCINATING. I never know the mood they’re trying to convey.

[brassknuckles-moved-deactivated]

if catholicism/christianity is fake… mary really was in that for the long haul. she pulled the longest con in existence & even got her kid in on it

[brassknuckles-moved-deactivated]

mary’s friend gabriel who knocked her up: you told joseph i was a what now?

mary, taking a sip of her coffee: an angel, gabe. try to keep up.

[sketchdeath]

mary, about to invent the miracle of christ: oh, haven’t you heard?

[donitkitt]

Hey uh, just some advice for April Fools comin up for people in a relationship.

Dont fucking fake break up with your partner on April Fools

Dont fucking fake fight with your partner on April Fools

Dont fucking fake cheat on your partner on April Fools

Dont fucking do something like cut your partners hair, ruin your partners clothes, scare your partner on April Fools

Dont fucking pretend get with someone on April Fools

Just dont be an abusive dickweed to anyone, or your partners on April Fools, ok.

[broadwayfangirlblr]

Dear Anyone Who Hates Cats

My cat literally sleeps next to my face until she thinks I’m asleep and then she’ll move to the end of my bed. If I wake up at night she’ll go back up to me head and stay with me until I fall asleep again. In the morning she’ll follow me when I call her. She’s a precious lil nugget.

[princesstigerbelle]

[princesstigerbelle]

My best friend!!!!

[cliteralviolence]

I LOVE HER.

[procrastinatingbookworm]

i would die for that cat

[tackled]

[teenagecrush]

“I crave the side of you that you don’t show to anyone else.”

—

[seduced]

[onlytwitterpics]

[prideprejudce]

it’s officially spring which means porridge weather is over and hozier is finally done making his oatmeal and can now again release MUSIC 

[prideprejudce]

for those of you who are ignorant of hozier’s hibernation habits

[skincareroutine]

what’s w conventions? cant y’all just b nerds at home like do y’all gotta go to geek coachella

[anthropofagy-deactivated2021041]

they gotta get it out their system once a year so they dont start cosplaying goku at malls on random weekdays. its for the best

[foodstims]

View this post on Instagram

[biologyisyourfriend]

that was the uggliest sound I’ve ever heard….. lol 

[whitegirlsaintshit]

when he pulls out

[billiondollarblog]

[kingjaffejoffer]

LMAOOOOO

[dreamgirlchey]

Something about the sun makes me feel complete. Like thousands of tiny kisses being placed upon my skin

Sun - Cheney Parsons (via loveplantsandearthmagic)

[foxy-filly]

I’m sorry, we need to take a short break from horses to appreciate that my boyfriend’s cat has a treadmill, and she will only run on it if she has an audience.

[officialfist]

This is really important

[lilmamabeyellin]

LMFAOOOO

[trashg0d-deactivated20180217]

Lmaooo she literally ate the smoke 😂😂😂

[sadlatte]

Me😂😂😂😂

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

Super Dad

[englishable]

Conclusion: human evolution has always depended in part upon some unassuming father’s ability to literally backflip his child out of the jaws of death.

[good-morning-warren]

When you roll a nat 20 acrobatics & perception 

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

They have a reddit thread called Dad Reflexes and the precursor, Bro Reflexes

[blogthegreatrouge]

yiykes all those kids could’ve died