Advanced Procrastination

I'm Saffron, 36years. Sometimes I do stuff but mostly I don't. This blog is a mix of everything, have a look around and I hope you enjoy your stay.

[theriverbeyond]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

[zegalba]

Confiscated pens containing cheat notes intricately carved by a student at the University of Malaga, Spain. (2022)

[caesarsaladinn]

socks used to cheat on civil service exams, Qing Dynasty China

[c3rvida3]

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[drivablecar]

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

[c3rvida3]

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

[drivablecar]

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

[c3rvida3]

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.

[laboratoryrats]

Find References to Draw a Head from Any Angle!

The web application returns images of heads at certain angles. Super helpful resource for figuring out how to draw a head at a tricky angle

With tags for emotions, glasses, different ages, and more!

Find reference images of faces in different orientations.

[catmask]

i know the 'is mcdonalds a date' questions making its rounds but i feel kind of insane bc thats never even been a metric for me. a date is just when someone says its a date. i went on a date w someone to smoke in a building w a caved in cieling in the rain, shoplifted from a gas station paranoid as hell to get them a soft pretzel and then we chased a rat around. where is your sense of adventure people

[wizardshark]

Hey you're right but I think you might also be an outlier

[brightlotusmoon]

[the-conquest-of-shred]

I'm so enamoured with this man

[warningengine]

[liberalsarecool]

I live in defiance of all the bad that is around me.

[prairiedawn]

(image text) TO BE HOPEFUL IN BAD TIMES is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places--and there are so many--where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

--Howard Zinn

[knightofleo]

[grapeperfume]

@motngoinhadala on instagram

[fotitospacurartudepresion]

Yo en kinder después de germinar un frijol:

[eeerlenwald]

The way you draw hooked noses is THE BEST. I always struggle with them so much, especially when it comes to faces in 3/4. How do you do it? 😩

Gosh, tumblr sucks, so I have to reply by reblog, gimme a sec… 

[eeerlenwald]

SO: Thanks a lot! Hmmm it’s hard to explain, it’s all about practice and using refs, but I’ll try to give you some hacks!

The corner of the eye doesn’t interfere with the nostril.

Like, never.

It is also not too far, because the human face is a beautiful mathematical formula <3 For me, ¾ portraits look better when the nose doesn’t cover the pupil, which often happens with drawing wonderful eagle noses xD

(source)

The tip of the nose and the edge of the nostril are always more or less at the same distance from the central axis of the nose (middle of the nasal hole), regardless of the perspective.

Use photos, movie/game screenshots, refs, refs REFS are hella valid. TRACE, if you need, there’s nothing wrong with it, if it is not overused, you can really learn a lot from tracing, if you use it well and observe, so go on!

Hope it’s helpful somehow, cheers! <3

[the-lincyclopedia]

Is it just me or does having a positive interaction with a stranger scratch a very particular itch? I think it's the reassurance that the world is not split solely into people who already love you and people who never will.

[catullyst]

τυρὸς δ’ οὐ λείπει μ’ οὔτ’ ἐν θέρει οὔτ’ ἐν ὀπώρᾳ, οὐ χειμῶνος ἄκρω·

"But cheese does not abandon me, neither in summer nor in autumn, nor at the end of winter:"

--Theocritus Idyll XI.36-7

[animate-mush]

The other thing I have realized in my efforts today is that not only do Dracula and Mina have similar tastes in women, and men, they seem to have similar tastes in everything. Architecture. Trains. Everything. It's uncanny

[see-arcane]

Mina, languishing:

[animate-mush]

Mina has a seething hatred of Dracula for the absolute pettiest of reasons but she is being So Brave About It but then she reads the diary and is like OH THANK GOD we have to kill him.

This is definitely because of Lucy's murder and Jonathan's imprisonment and not because he bought the last model train set she was eyeing for her collection. Definitely.

[see-arcane]

Mina, firing new holes in Dracula: This is for Jonathan! -bang- This is for Lucy! -bang- And this is for the limited edition single run gold-trim Central Pacific 'Jupiter' UP No. 119 - American Type model!

Dracula, spitting blood: It rolls so smooth on the tracks. Not that you'd know.

Mina, eyes blazing, barrel to his head: Play with it in Hell. -bang-

[adz]

i’m crying this is the deadest plant i’ve ever seen

[whitemfnster]