crypticadvice

If you truly need advice, you'll find me.

[redstonedust]

tbh shoutout to the over 40s on tumblr, sorry the internet acts like yall belong in the retirement home when ur literally just regular adults with hobbies

[ordinarytalk]

I was going to leave comments in the tags, but I decided this was important enough to put on main.

In college, my friend group collectively got into the SCA - Society for Creative Anachronism. They're the people who get really into medieval reenactment, the fighting and crafts and cooking, they have kings and queens and knights and events and a good percentage of them (but not all!) work or have worked at Ren Faires.

I am forever grateful my friends dragged me into that, because it was my first introduction to fandom in older adults. Middle-aged dorks. Elderly nerds. Absolutely as intense and weird and hilarious and fun as any fan in their teens or 20s. I started getting into fandom already knowing there was a road ahead for me as I got older, full of handmade costumes and late night movies and shelves of pewter dragon goblets and mixed-aged road trips to meet ups and conventions.

And it kills me that so many people don't know that sort of community even exists. On both sides, even! I went to Philcon a few years ago, which tends towards older fans, and an older woman I was talking to sadly told me that she thought fandom was dying out, because she never saw younger fans any more.

Over the past decade, there's been a really toxic movement towards keeping different ages strictly separated, both in and outside of fandom. There's this strong implication that if an older person wants to interact with a younger person, there is something inherently predatory about that.

Yeah, that attitude sucks. That drive towards separation and puritanism sucks. Declaring that younger people should have nothing to look forward to and that older people should stay separated and lonely sucks. It sucks and we are all worse for it.

Don't fear age. Don't put an age limit on having fun. Give yourself a damn future.

[durnesque-esque]

Beverly passed away in 2019, but she was one of many of my favorite, elder cosplayers that frequent DragonCon and remind all of us to keep playing as long as we can.

[sage-cryptic-wisdom]

As a Chatelaine for my local shire It hurts to see people think we need to keep separate the SCA is for everybody and we love to meet new people and teach them about thing. New blood keeps us going!

[bnq]

Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind

[ceekari]

unmute for the unfathomable sounds of mankind being shamed

[sage-cryptic-wisdom]

omg yall dont be like me

It's the time of the season where its warm and humid and those of us who self pleasure are in for a doozy:

i got a uti bc i used a cheap toy and didn't sanitize properly so here some step to prevent and help people in a similar situation:

1 sanitize any penetrative objects for your own sake, before and after your activities.

2 go pee after intercouse (both with others and solo)

3 wash yo damn hands before and after

4 don't wear to tight pants or underwear it will trap or rub bacteria into sensitive areas

5 drink plenty of water, it makes the urine diluted and helps flush out bacteria

6 eat things with vitamin c, it makes the urine acidic and also assists in the flushing and killing of bacterias

[prokopetz]

Popular media tends to depict catgirls as having roughly the same preferences in prey items as regular housecats, but this represents a misunderstanding of how feline prey selection works. Cats don’t hunt mice because they prefer the flavour; cats are hyper-optimised predators that will hunt and kill literally anything they can catch. Their preferences in terms of prey items are less a matter of taste and more a matter of scale: you can only venture so high on the food chain when you weigh ten pounds. Given access to the force multipliers of tools and opposable thumbs, a catgirl would absolutely look at a T-rex and see tonight’s dinner.

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

#as far as a catgirl is concerned a tyrannosaurus is just a very large chicken #and she’s got ALL the secret herbs and spices

[creatures-5]

Unfortunately, tyrannosauruses would likely be highly toxic

[prokopetz]

Fortunately, catgirls are also highly toxic.

[raspbrrytea]

[estelendur]

depends on the species! For example, far enough back, you might find a specimen of Nyaustralopithecus afarnyansis, or perhaps Homeow erectus. The existence of Denyansovans is hypothesized but unproven

[muffinsupremacy]

[rosvl]

text is from invisible cities by italo calvino

[senor-sama]

[lizluvscupcakes]

Girls will be girls.

[oyeedraw]

This radiates such chaotic energies.

[voidsentprinces]

This is Asobi Asobase. And this is literally the entire anime, just girls releasing chaotic energy and while sometimes showing off the best goddamn slap stick I’ve ever seen.

[gigglygamer]

This clip has the same energy as the principal fighting a deer from Niichijou.

[campyvillain]

i cant stop thinking of the gif of the kiwi jumping around its so funny the way that thing moves like gravity doesn’t care about it it just prances wildly and freely it falls over but it doesn’t care it just keeps moving and having fun and just keeps hopping and the party never stops it’s legitimately one of my favorite pieces of media on the internet the joy it brings me is unbridled

[campyvillain]

look at it again

[amayavittori]

Kiwis are one of my favorite animals because they are just such a shape

[incompletepuppets]

Salt your stink, miss?

[garbage-empress]

i remember this post so distinctly i assumed it must have a million notes but it does not

[tea-effect]

Visit Original Link

BE BLESSED FELLOW SIMPS

[spwr-throwaway-deactivated20220]

[grox]

[deadmomjokes]

So my husband is back on his medieval warfare and tactics special interest lately, and he was telling me about how so many battles were lost because the knights would just disobey orders and break ranks because they got too excited and just went full Leroy Jenkins. Prey drive switches on and they see somebody running and they just blank out and go.

Which seemed really dumb to me, like people couldn’t be that stupid, until I got walloped in the face by a memory from freshman year of college.

It’s almost 10pm in the dead of winter right before Finals, I’m out at college in a high altitude desert in the biggest city I’ve ever been in during my life. My dorm is on the second floor of one of the newest buildings, which are still surrounded by construction zones for the other new buildings going up. Just past the construction zones is one of the city’s major roads. There is still snow on the ground outside, the sidewalks are ice and rock salt, and the parking lot is a slush pile. (All of this is relevant in a minute I swear, stay with me here.)

We get a knock at the door. One of my roomies answers it. There’s 2 creepy looking muscle dudes asking for another roommate, E. E is creeped out and doesn’t want to go see them, but they won’t leave, insisting they see her and talk to her out in the hall. My spider senses are tingling, the social anxiety override kicks in, and I go full Mom Friend and ask them who they are and how they know her. And dudes just take off for the stairwell.

And I took off after them.

I need y’all to understand that I was an asthmatic at altitude in a mountain city in winter at night in shorts and a t-shirt and no shoes whatsoever, and I somehow made it down two flights of stairs, out the door, down the sidewalk, across a construction zone, across the parking lot, and halfway to the road screaming at two beardy dudebros twice my size to “get back here you little creeps”, all before I had consciously realized that I had left my apartment. Something about watching two creepy guys run for it triggered something in me, some latent instinct to Search and Destroy. Like Fight or Flight but I wasn’t the one being threatened, they were the ones doing the Flight, and I had this deep, ferocious need to FIGHT.

I full on blanked out, y’all. I literally have no memory of getting down the stairs or across the parking lot or anything at all until I was watching the headlights on the road thinking “wait, where are my shoes?” It’s a little black hole. I was in the apartment, they took off running, and then bam, there I was. It was like an out of body experience, I was hearing myself shout at them and thinking “I sound like such an idiot right now omg,” and then I realized What I Had Done.

Not only was it stupid, it was super dangerous. Even aside from all the environmental dangers, if they were some kind of kidnappers they could totally have snatched me. And yet there I was, barefoot in the snow and road salt with no phone, no inhaler, and I was still hollering after them like a dog on a chain when one of my roommates came down in boots and a coat to drag me back inside.

And honestly? I’m still miffed I never caught the guys. That was my takeaway from that incident.

So yes, I believe it now. People are so unbelievably dumb and the prey drive instinct is absolutely real.

[akavincent]

@shizonrhu

[wearecowboy]

@we-are-knight

Thoughts? I have had a few experiences like this before, and you seem the type to enjoy this story.

[we-are-knight]

Yeah, this happened. Actually contributed toward the loss for the French at Agincourt.

[heroineimages]

It also contributed to Queen Zenobia’s loss to Aurelian’s legions at the battle of Emesa. Her infantry broke part of Aurelian’s lines and continued to pursue, drawing them out of formation and into flanking position by Aurelian’s reserves.

Ancient field-warfare relied very heavily on infantry maintaining formation, as a solid wall of heavy infantry like hoplites, phlangites, or legionaries lined up with weapons and shields ready was a formidable obstacle on any battlefield. One tactic was to try to goad them into breaking formation using archers, skirmishers, and other ranged units. Even though legionaries and hoplites and similar units wore heavy armor and bore heavy shields that were largely resistant to projectiles, lighter ranged troops might be able to piss them off enough to pull them out of formation and into a trap or flanking maneuver. 

[lady-feral]

The first time I ever came face to face with a bear I was having a conversation with a roommate outside our rented house in Asheville north carolina. Its head popped up over the hood of my roommates van and we looked at each other and I think I said “… that’s a bear!”

Next thing I know I’m at a full sprint in my neighbor’s yard with an axe in my hand chasing the bear into the woods and I stopped and slid like a fucking cartoon character and said out loud to myself “what the FUCK are you doing?”

I honestly don’t think I had a conscious thought until some part of my brain realized that the bear was way faster than me and I wasn’t going to be able to catch up.

[boatcats]

Exit pursuing a bear. Legend status.

[gamebird]

Really. So much of army stuff is just teaching people to follow commands at all times, under all conditions. Because human beings are bad at that! (So are most other creatures, so it’s not a human thing per se.) This is the reason for drill, repetitive training, development of muscle memory, strict hierarchy, and insistence that you can’t question the chain of command no matter what.

[findingfeather]

This drive is so intrinsic that “this army is inexperienced, they’ll chase us if we run” or similar ruses were FREQUENTLY used to massive tactical advantage.

[first-and-last-neocount]

This is both useful reference for my writing and an absolutely hysterical set of anecdotes, so thank you all

[sew-birb]

This is exactly how it went down at the Battle of Hastings (which is mostly famous because it’s the subject of the epic Bayeux Tapestry). Harold (the loser) had the high ground and superior numbers but his forces were undisciplined and fell for the “pretend to be scared and run away” trick multiple times.

[headspace-hotel]

Primal instincts y'all.

I know deep down that i would absolutely do this

[dduane]

(cc: @petermorwood) :)

[zouisbreakup]

reblog to give a plushie to the person you reblogged this from

[alizalayne]

playing beanie babies quietly by yourself in your room

[the most sinister music imaginable link yes this is the exact song i was playing when my mom found me doing this]

[fruitygothvampy]

Visit Original Link

IM ON MY KNEES OH MY GOD…..PLEASE RAIL ME…

[sage-cryptic-wisdom]

OMGG YALL

I just published the first chapter of my lady Dimitrescu x Fem!reader on Wattpad and I'm working on getting a ao3 account I'm just waiting for my account to be accepted. my Wattpad is @eternal_scout607 The story is called My lady, My love. but ill put the link underneath

Please go check it out

https://www.wattpad.com/story/269342193-my-lady-my-love-lady-dimitrescu-x-fem-reader

[unorcadox]