Not pretending to make you all lose your sh*t, BUT...
(SOURCE)
So I tried and... IT’S TRUE O MG
now
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION BUT SCREAM AT MY CELLPHONE
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@sagethedinosaur
Not pretending to make you all lose your sh*t, BUT...
(SOURCE)
So I tried and... IT’S TRUE O MG
now
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION BUT SCREAM AT MY CELLPHONE
Nov 21st, 2019
Full disclaimer, I am a white woman supporting my native friend.
Apryl is a Native woman of the Mohawk Tribe, South Quebec, currently living in Alabama with her son. He’s in kindergarten this year. She’s raising him according to her culture and traditions. The following is all posted with her permission, . Last Thursday, she gets this from his school:
She’s obviously concerned. So she writes into the teacher with the following:
And gets this Response:
……At which point ‘Concerned’ turns into ‘Disturbed’.
At which points she gets a phone call from the teacher. She described the following:
“So an admin called me. I started by explaining I am mohawk, where my community is, and how I’ve grown up in and am connected to my culture and people and am raising (Son) the same.
I pointed out I am Disturbed by my understanding of the activities planned and why. They claim to focus on local tribes, but teepees. I explained the history of the headdress craft. I pointed out that dressing up like am Indian for the day is racist as hell.
Then I had to explain what the term redface is because she kept insisting there would be no face paint.
She wishes they’d known I was native before because I would be a great resource for planning future events, but for this one it’s too late to make changes. Dressing up is just in good fun, her daughter did it when she was in kindergarten as well. Detailed some craft making a fringed vest with a paper bag? About how they’ve done this event for twenty years and no one has ever complained. The children really enjoy it every year. She’s willing to give my name and number to the Indian Ed teacher too discuss further events in the future and see about signing (Son) up for the class. (I sent the paperwork in. He wanted to try it. I did this months ago. Also, the fact that we’re native is on all his fucking paperwork).”
So she writes the principal.
And Gets this in Response.
If you wonder whether her son understands the situation:
In case anyone is having trouble with the pictures, or TLDR:
My friend’s six year old son, a Native boy of the Mohawk tribe, was going to be exposed to his entire grade imitating his cultural heritage, while simultaneously watching them mash some thousand or more respective native tribal cultures into a grab pot of ‘cool’ things to celebrate. They did not consult the local Chickasaw, Chocktaw, or Cherokee tribes to participate, consult, or teach at this event, and instead are going to have the children dress in whatever their white parents’ impression of ‘native attire’ is. They were informed a week ago that this was racist. Apryl has done her due diligence in explaining to them why. They told her to be quiet because the kids have fun and no one has ever complained before.
We are complaining now.
She has since written the superintendent of the school district, and submitted a complaint to the ACLU and several of her social media groups for native parents and communities.
If you have time, Feel free to drop a email or phone call to the principal and help explain why persisting in exposing children to stereotypes of cultures that suffered so greatly at the hands of white colonizers IS, and will ALWAYS BE, a bad idea.
Principal Alex Hughes
256.851.4670
THIS EVENT IS TOMORROW, it was NOT cancelled or even postponed to address these concerns. Tell Principal Hughes that is it is 2019, and this is unacceptable.
Hey everyone,
A friend of mine and her son are fighting against a racist school and their “Thanksgiving” plans. They are planning on dressing up and having a “powwow” This needs to end, we need to make sure that they are told as loud as possible that this is not okay.
Our Indigenous students deserve better. Our Indigenous youth deserve better. No Native child should have to deal with this.
Please share widely,
So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”
To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”
I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.
Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.
But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’
So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-
My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”
And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack
Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left
Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”
And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah
Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”
And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me
you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.
op are you okay
yes im married to her now
i think edward elric entire military experience can be summarized as john mulaney’s “horse loose in the hospital” bit
there is a CHILD ALCHEMIST LOOSE IN THE STATE MILITARY!
NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE CHILD IS GOING TO DO, LEAST OF ALL THE CHILD!
HE’S NEVER BEEN IN THE MILITARY BEFORE!
They interviewed a man who once saw a baby in a restaurant.
WE’VE ALL SEEN A BABY IN A RESTAURANT!!!
THIS IS A CHILD. LOOSE IN THE MILITARY.
@dalethesjtoddler
And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the child, and then, 5 miles under the capital city, an evil homunculus was like, “I have a huge transmutation circle and I’m going to kill everyone to become god!” And before we could say anything, the child was like, “If you even fucking look at Amestris, I will punch you to death with my fists. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can take my unresolved daddy issues out on you, I’m so fucking crazy.”
This post was written by Roy Mustang
Sometimes it’s not a bad thing, just surprising. Like, “Today the child did alchemy without a transmutation circle,” and everyone is like, “Huh, I didn’t know he could do that.”
The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the child at all. Those are the days when everyone is like “I think the child has finally calmed down,” and then the child is like “I just uncovered a government conspiracy. I went in that secret lab and snuck in there with my tiny body. I have a tiny body, but don’t you tell me that, or I’ll fuck you up,” and you’re like “That’s what I thought you’d say, you tiny fucking child.”
And then for a second we’re like “Maybe the government will fire the child,” and the child is like “I have dismantled the government.”
Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year! Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3
#Inktober Day 4. If I didn’t have bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all. https://www.instagram.com/p/B3KJBn7l2ZR/?igshid=1cj02zi90s3pf
i love how edward elric dresses like the typical anime protag (all black, red cloak w/ huge emblem, tight leather pants, always puts skulls or spikes on everything, huge belt with a chain on it, etc. etc.) but literally everyone else dresses like normal fucking people so he just constantly gets berated for his Shit Awful Taste
edward, trying on another one of his godawful outfits: whaddya think, do I look good or what?
alphonse, who hasn’t had the pleasure of choosing an outfit (or even wearing clothes, really) in years and is only a tiny bit bitter about it: yeah big bro you look awesome. trust me. everyone’s gonna love it
It’s almost the end of That Time Mollymauk Died Day, so here’s some stuff that he did while he wasn’t dead:
Walked into a tavern, clocked the nearest group of insecure idiots, and immediately sold them on attending the circus
Killed a zombie and promptly got knocked unconscious
Was the only person to realize that letting a child see the severed head of her friend was, perhaps, not a great idea
Spent an hour painting his dick so that he and his friends could break into a hospital, then decided he wasn’t a huge fan and just fake-vomited all over a nurse
Talked everyone into being naked and boiling in the same room
Got mistaken for his former cult-leader self by a cat-person
Did drugs
Kicked his roommate out of their shared room so he could have a three-way
Got thrown balls-first into a fence by his best friend
Killed a robot
Also!
Felt so sorry for the group of bandits trying to rob them that he gave them a piece of gold each and made them promise to find a better line of work
Almost got robbed by the same group of bandits again, but instead of being mad that they broke their promise, gave them some old armor so they wouldn’t get themselves killed
Won a strawberry at a carnival!
Saw fireworks for the first time!
Did tricks to entertain children on several occasions
Constantly overpaid for everything
Including when the people of Alfield were buying them drinks to thank them for taking care of the gnolls, Molly would secretly slip a coin into everyone’s pocket
Threw donut crumbs from Jester’s bag around like confetti
Won his part of the drinking contest
Told his friends that he pooped his pants once and doesn’t regret it
Gave many forehead kisses
Hid a coin in a broken tree just so it would be a fun thing for someone else to find later
Never passed up an opportunity to tell his friends about the weird kinky shit he’s into
Bought a religious tapestry, fucked on top of it and then wore it around a fancy hotel like a toga
Did not have nipple rings because those are dangerous and get caught on stuff, so he probably had to learn that lesson the hard way
Referred to his gender as ‘fabulous’
#Remember the first time you watched this. Remember when you heard Merlin sass Arthur like he’s never been sassed before. Remember the look in Merlin’s eyes. REMEMBER HOW YOU WENT ‘OHOOOOOOOO HERE WE GO’ AS YOU OFFICIALLY SOLD YOUR SOUL TO MERLIN
september is coming up so here’s your yearly reminder to leave billie joe armstrong the fuck alone
Well of course. We don’t wake him up until October 1st.
His dad is dead, just don’t.
In case anyone reading my blog is unaware, this is a reference to the Green Day song titled “Wake Me Up When September Ends” a song that Billie Joe Armstrong wrote following the death of his father in September of 1982 when Billie Joe was ten years old. The title of the song references his desire to sleep through September in an effort to get some emotional distance from the death of his father.
He’s since been open about the emotional difficulty of having written the song since many people now message him on October 1st to ‘wake him up’ despite the song being a memorial to his departed father.
It’s generally seen as respectful to not try to wake him up. Let him sleep and let him remember his father in peace.
reblogging again because the end of September is coming up. leave him alone.
Reblogging as a reminder to leave Billie Joe Armstrong the fuck alone on October 1st and any day after it if your message is going to contain anything to do with “waking” him up because September will be over.
please, everyone be nice to Billie.
harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like:
“STORY TIME: I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE”
“BABYSITTING MY FRIEND’S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)”
“THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE”
would like to add to this post and say that harry is uploading these videos to standard muggle youtube. people see this kind of scruffy, obviously Fucked Up kid rambling nonsense into his deskptop camera and just think he is really really good at shitposting
Harry, *filming himself with one hand, throwing raw meat at a seemingly empty space with the other*: “So anyways, you guys probably can’t see him through the camera lens but this weird fuck belongs to my best friend Luna who can’t actually take care of him right now because she’s out riding drag- er, um she’s on vacation in Romania so I have to do it. Um, the only reason I can see him is because I watched my close friend get murdered by an evil wizard when I was fourteen which, by the way, was around the same time I started to think I might be gay. Anyone else?”
Teens on tumblr who have no idea he’s being completely serious: “This is the only man alive who truly Gets me.”
Hermione finds out about his channel because someone she went to primary school with posts it to Facebook and then she marathons his entire channel overnight to make sure he’s not going to get arrested for breaking the statute of secrecy
Hot Take: they can’t arrest him for jackshit because Hermione shows them Muggle memes and demonstrates that the Youtube audience legitimately has no reason to believe he’s anything but an elaborate shitposter.
Slughorn:let me tell you the story of the kid who survived and killed the dark lord who was in this exact class where i teach him the most important part of potions
Muggleborn:cool cool
Slughorn:Harry Potter
Muggleborn: THE FREAKIN YOUTUBER
don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Brian David Gilbert’s Unraveled content on its own merits, but as a serious sexuality researcher™ a good portion of the fun of getting into his videos has been seeing how the overwhelming reaction to this impeccably dressed geek working himself into a frenzy over video games is people getting wretchedly, breathtakingly horny for it
absolutely astonishing sibling things from the Umbrella Academy, in no particular order and to be updated as I remember them
no one questioning why Five is driving even when he’s in a car with siblings who a.) also know how to drive and b.) don’t look like thirteen year old children
Allison’s little “don’t do anything stupid” before she and Diego split up
Luther putting on a bop that makes the entire family happy even when they’re not talking to each other
Klaus razzing hungover Luther, particularly the delighted “now you have to marry her!” when he finds out Luther did the do
Five’s entirely underwhelmed reaction when Diego starts kicking the absolute shit out of a man Five was having a perfectly civil conversation with
“You’re a young man, Luther” and the ensuing look on Luther’s face
the family’s connection to that bowling alley that isn’t expounded upon and never should be
Vanya dating a real human man is questioned more than Five’s relationship with a mannequin’s head
Klaus shamelessly encouraging two of his brothers to fight each other at their father’s funeral
related: Allison and Five having absolutely no reaction because this is about the level of bullshit they expect from this family
Ben switching through the 3 siblings modes of “I want to help you make your life better,” “I’m only here to offer sarcastic commentary,” and “if you’re not going to make your own life better I Will punch you in the face so help me god”
also every time Klaus makes accommodations for Ben (pulling out a chair and pouring him a cup of coffee, putting down a cushion for Ben to sit on when they’re trying to make Ben corporeal)
they used to sneak out and get donuts together :’)
A Discourse on Tartan
For those who don’t know, the various patterns of tartan actually hold special significance to Europeans. Different styles of tartan are used to indicate a person’s allegiance to a certain clan, family, or order. It is even illegal in some places to wear specific brands of tartan without permission from the person in charge of the group to which the pattern belongs.
This being said, Aziraphale wears a very specific style of tartan. It’s called “Heaven’s Dress Tartan,” and it was designed specifically for Michael Sheen to wear in the show.
The naming of this tartan, along with the fact that it is the only tartan we see him wear, would indicate that this pattern is actually the official tartan of heaven. But as we see when Aziraphale is handed his military uniform and told to go assume command of his platoon, (they wouldn’t be waiting for him unless he was their Sargent - fight me,) Heaven has its own official Tartan, and it’s not the one Aziraphale is wearing.
Furthermore, when Aziraphale is discorporated and winds up in Heaven, the Heaven’s Dress Tartan on his bow-tie is gone.
This leads me to conclude that, since Aziraphale is wearing a unique tartan that does not match heaven’s, our dear Principality made his own tartan. He didn’t see that pattern somewhere and think it was nice, and he doesn’t wear it to show his allegiance to Heaven. This is A.Z. Fell’s clan tartan. He designed it for himself to wear, as his symbol. If he had a family, it would be their family tartan.
Now, a thing about clan tartans is you’re only really supposed to wear it if you’re a member of the clan; i.e., a member of the family. Which brings up an interesting point:
Twice in the show, Aziraphale gives Crowley the Heaven’s Dress Tartan. The first is when he gives him the holy water. (Isn’t it sweet, the vessel he uses is decorated to represent himself?) This could perhaps be dismissed under the theory that it was simply what Aziraphale had on hand - it could easily have been any other securely-shut cup.
However, in the scene where Crowley and Aziraphale meet Anathema, Aziraphale miracles a tartan bike rack onto the Bentley (which I couldn’t find a picture of). Aziraphale is willingly giving Crowley his specific tartan. Now remember what I said about clan tartans only being worn by members of the clan?
Thesis: Aziraphale considers Crowley to be his family and has since at least the 60s.
broke: aziraphale takes so long to be able to be with crowley because he refuses to accept that Heaven is flawed, and he can’t bring himself to break heaven’s rules, both out of stubborn belief and because he’s afraid of Falling or being otherwise destroyed
woke: Aziraphale doesn’t give a single fuck about Heaven. he gives away the Flaming Sword bestowed upon him by God and then lies right to God’s face about it, he’s not fucking afraid of gabriel. Aziraphale holds himself and his feelings back not out of respect or fear of Heaven, but because he is terrified of what Hell might do to Crowley, which is why when they talk about the Agreement in the Shakespearean scene, he doesn’t say “I’ll be destroyed” or even “we’ll be destroyed” but “they’ll destroy you”
“They’ll destroy you”.
I’ve written about 20,000 words of fanfiction based off of three words haha help
I had a dream that someone started a meme at the bottom of their tumblr posts that was just a banner of harry styles giving a thumbs up with the text "This post is Ravioli Approved." It got really popular, and eventually Harry got wind of it and went on James Corden and said "this meme is Ravioli Approved." Everyone loved it and it was really funny, and Harry Styles played along. Until one day he tweeted "Donald Trump is not Ravioli Approved." And the next day Trump fucking died.
suddenly everyone was DMing Harry Styles like "am I ravioli approved???" And he mostly said yes, but the ones he said no to died. And the next day it would come out that they had been murderers or just terrible people.
They gave Harry Styles his own government Bureau of Ravioli Approval (BORA) and every baby born got an approval/disapproval rating with their social security number. Infant mortality dropped because every baby except the Disapproved ones lived.
Eventually he did like a 12-hour live special of him reading the death records of the last 20 years and approving/disapproving of their deaths. There wasn't any earthly repercussions to that but im pretty sure it meant he was sending them to heaven or hell?
The dream ended with a looney tunes ending card, except instead of porky pig it was harry in the middle with the message "This Dream Is Ravioli Approved." And i woke up.