I've been enabled: Here's some of my Hanzo Shimada headcanons:
Was homeschooled, but he makes an effort not to call it that. If you asked him about it, he would say something like, "I was trained by only the finest the Shimada clan had to offer." And then you'd look at him and be all like, "Your clan? So like at home? Like *homeschooling*?" And then he was just stare at you until you go away ಠ ೧ ಠ
CHRONICALLY ONLINE. He hides it very well. But, come on now, he spends most of his time alone, dude is doomscrolling. That, and he was homeschooled....
Doesn't know/understand 85% of memes and pop culture references, but because he's so chronically online he has seen some memes. And because of this, once every blue moon his mask slips. Back at the clan, Genji said "Who up backing their rooms" once and Hanzo smirked for a spilt second and that left Genji flabbergasted for the rest of the day. Nowadays, Genji's not sure if that actually happened, or that was just something from a dream.
Growing up, he was only allowed to watch TV at hotels. His favorite shows as a kid were Yu-Gi-Oh!, Dinosaur King, TMNT, and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
His favorite color is orange.
Hanzo has an apartment every now and then, but most of the time he's just jumping from place to place, hotel room to hotel room and sometimes even just camping out. He just goes wherever his mercenary work takes him.
Steals from the Shimada compound. Like actively. Sure, he visits to pay his respects to Genji, but the rest of the time? Money's tight and he's there to swipe a few valuables and then pawn them. Sometimes Hashimoto guards catch him in the act, but they've never been able to capture him.
He has battle scars on his legs and back. That's why he's wearing that hoodie thing in his summer outfit.
He doesn't rest when he gets a cold. He just works himself to exhaustion and then his body forces him to sleep everything off.
He casually drinks pretty regularly, but he doesn't know at what point a shot here and there becomes a blackout. He's woken up in the most random places because of this. Once he woke up in a treehouse.
Sometimes he consumes content that hits a little too close to home, like IHNMAIMS (the short story), and then walks around looking shell-shocked for a few days.
Has NEVER picked up a sword since The Incident. He once got into a fight and there was a sword right in front of him and he completely ignored it, instead letting the mercs beat his ass until he somehow got away.
Has a Steam Deck. Again, chronically online and usually alone. He has finished the Portal games at least 3 times and he has 500+ hours on Tekken 8 online.
He once was mindlessly checking out Twitch and came across one of D.VA's livestreams. He watched for a few minutes and then decided to delete his account.
That's all I got for now. I'll be back if there's popular demand (this post gets at least 10 notes LOLLLL).
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