Andulka
art blog(derogatory)
styofa doing anything
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$LAYYYTER
Xuebing Du
shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n
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pixel skylines
Product Placement
Kiana Khansmith
trying on a metaphor
DEAR READER
🪼
blake kathryn
oozey mess
NASA
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@saintmouthed
about me:
in my 30s
he/him
multifandom, multishipping trash (currently—X-men, Candela Obscura, M*A*S*H, etc)
(was once gopuckurself but got tired of the pun)
if you’re under 18 I’m not your parent but don’t hang out on my blog where I can see you doing it because I’ll almost definitely block you.
I don’t tag everything because I’m old I guess but find some links below.
links:
AO3
general fanfics tag
dtcfdp tag
dtcfdp ficlets tag
fanfic recs
If you enjoyed this book you should read every other book in the world for extra textual context. All things are intricately related to one another.
there's something about amoral manipulative little masterminds who are constrained only by their intense fealty to a person of high(er) morals that's just. chef's kiss. so good
something similar to the appeal of king and lionheart except it's king and spymaster
I really do love when I get called a fujoshi because, like. Look, it's not a cool thing to call any gay trans guy, but with me in particular, it is REALLY apparent that that's just your catch-all insult for gay trans guys. Really obvious that you were just throwing some spaghetti at the wall and hoping it stuck. You didn't even look at my blog. There's not even real life guys kissing on here. Or anime guys not kissing. I was just talking to my spouse about anime boys I am capable of naming, and here is the full list: Goku, Sasuke, Naruto, etc. That's all of them. Ain't a holier-than-thou thing, either. Just not my scene. And it's also a thing where, like. Let's strip away the porn and romance parts of it. I didn't transition to be a twink. If you did, I am hootin' and hollerin' and crushing beer cans against my forehead, but I'm fat and hairy and covered in tattoos and I often find myself in a hunting supply store staring at the novelty T-shirts and thinking, "That's a solid pun and a beautiful wildlife painting. I can't pass up the opportunity to wear this to a chili cook-off or perhaps to a different hunting supply store." Just the way it worked out for me, you know? I think maybe if you asked the people who know me to rank things they'd be likely to find me doing, they would all put "gnawing on a human corpse buck naked on the side of the road" slightly above "rubbing one out to anime boys kissing". But yeah. I definitely transitioned because I want to pretend that I am Sasuke kissing Goku. That's what I'm up to for sure, you ribbonless county fair hog.
Thinking maybe this post came off a little harsh, so I do want to clarify that if you're reading this and you want to kiss Goku so bad that you're thinking about going down to your local Planned Parenthood and doing some steroids about it because you feel like that's really gonna help you get into the zone Goku-wise, you might actually be the coolest dude on the face of the earth. I think you really know what you're about, and I'm into it big-time.
i could add a few more stages to grief if they let me
it's gonna be okay (/threat)
poly shipping solves this
i bring a sort of "what if they had a threesome?" vibe to the shipping convo that both misogynists and homophobes dont like
what if there was a guy called cornelius hickey
somebody explain why I’m obsessed with atmospheric paintings of boats on the sea
like ??? makes me feel like I’m losing my mind
editing is so fun. I'm learning what the story I wrote is about
sometimes after you learn what your story is about, you resolve to write a thematically appropriate sequel. this, unfortunately, means you have another section to edit, and now your story means two things. maybe more. imagine.
This post understands editing like nobody else. Everybody else delete your blogs. I want to be alone with OP so we can talk.
You actually can feel the strap if you're true of heart and believe in yourself
stay still, i'm copying you to my pc
Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.
The Shibari Game
At a conference/festival last year, there was a Shibari workshop on the schedule for some reason, although the topic of the event was prediction markets. This led to the following exchange (all names changed):
Adam (who at the time was basically a stranger to me): Hmm, "Shibari"... What is that, some kind of Jewish ritual?
Me: No, it's-
Barbara: EVERYONE SHUT UP! Ok. Nobody tell this man what shibari is.
Everyone: ...?
Barbara: We’re playing 20 questions.
Thus began what was by far the best game of 20 questions I have ever witnessed. There were... appreciably more than 20 questions.
[literally ten minutes of questions later]
Adam: Ok, so! Shibari... is a Japanese social export, it's an activity somebody does, it's in some way artistic, it does not involve drawing, it does not involve writing, it involves an inorganic object and an organic object, and... the organic object is a human, right?
Everyone: Right
Adam: And the inorganic object...
Barbara: Well...
Chris: The inanimate object
Adam: The inanimate object, which, oh, which is organic, which suggests that it's clothes... Is the inanimate object clothing?
Everyone: No
Me: To clarify, the inanimate object is always organic in terms of 'organic chemistry', but might or might not be, like, made from biological material
Adam: Ok. And so, you have an inanimate object, and you have a person... The person does not have to do anything during the... shibari activity. You are doing a manipulation to the inanimate object, with the person, for purposes that are fun... Is it for the entertainment of a group?
Barbara: Could be? ...
Adam: So it could be for the entertainment of a group, but it could be for the entertainment of the individuals?
Everyone: Right
Adam: Ok. The inanimate object - the equipment - right? It is not specialised, but is a common object, correct?
Everyone: yeah
AI
Adam: Does it have anything at all to do with AI?
Everyone: [laughter] No
Adam: I had to check. In this setting, everything turns back to AI at some point
Me: I would say no
Frank: Not yet!
Me: Right, not yet. But yeah, 'No' is definitely the answer to that one
George: I trust Rob Miles on this
Barbara: As an expert in shibari?
Frank: As an expert in AI Shibari. I think that's what it's called.
Chris: Oh, yeah it kind of is!
Can one shibari by accident?
Adam: Ok. Is it something that one might do without knowing that it is shibari?
Everyone: [cacophony of disagreement]
Me: Interesting question!
Frank: Very interesting question.
Barbara: It's totally plausible that someone would do something that would qualify as shibari without knowing the Japanese artform
Me: Yeah, and they might also have seen things about it but not know the name of it
Chatting during shibari
Adam: Does it involve talking?
Everyone: No, not necessarily
Adam: God Dammit. Agh, I thought it might be... talking using some prop or something
Barbara: For me it always involves talking, but it's...
Adam: One doesn't have to?
Barbara: It's just 'cause I don't stop talking
[laughter]
Adam: And it doesn't involve betting markets in any way?
Everyone: No
How technologically advanced is shibari equipment?
Adam: Ok. Is the object technologically difficult to make?
Everyone: No
One guy: Yes
Everyone: What? No it isn't!
Adam: Is it only available in an industrialised economy?
Everyone: No
That one guy again: Yes!
Everyone: NO!!!
The guy: No, you're right, I'm sorry... But it is difficult to make
George: Every object is difficult to make!
Barbara: Maybe you're confused about what shibari is
Ed: Yeah, you should be up there with Adam
Adam: Would it have been available before industrialisation?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Ok. Um... is it a stick?
Everyone: It's not a stick
No cheap tricks allowed
Adam: I feel like I'm gonna get close to covering everything...
Me: I feel like we were very close just now, when you were like "Well what could this object be?"
Adam: Ok so the object is important. It's... before industrialisation... Does it begin with a letter before-
Everyone: No, no, we're not doing that. N/A
Adam: Ok so it starts with an N and an A...
[laughter]
What is this dang object?
Adam: Ok... so... is the object artificially pigmented?
Everyone: Can be, but not necessarily
Adam: Is it commonly painted?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it commonly dyed?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Ok, is it something that it's very common to dye in other purposes?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Does it involve a vegetable, of some kind?
Everyone: ...No?
Adam: Does it involve a plant?
Everyone: [confusion about what 'involve' means]
George: The object can have... some relation to a plant
Me: eehhh, that's more confusing than helpful. We already said that it can be biologically derived
Adam: But it would have been available before industrialisation?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: So it's got to be something that is... around. Is it something that requires human modification to make into the form we know and love?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Uh.. does this processing require specialised skill?
Everyone: Yeah, some skill for sure
Adam: Would I be able to do it? Like, without training?
Everyone: Probably not
Ed: On a long enough time horizon you'd figure it out, but the answer is basically no
Adam: Like, you throw me in with the tools to make it and say "come out in an hour", could I...
Everyone: No, probably not
Adam: But other people would be able to make it in an hour?
Everyone: Yeah, with the right skills
It’s not a weapon
Adam: Does it involve a weapon of any kind?
Everyone: No.
George: How creative are you allowed to-
Everyone: The answer's no
What shape is the object?
[long pause]
Adam: Well... does anyone else have any questions?
Barbara: You're asking such good questions though!
Ed: Yeah you're doing a good job
Danielle: I think you should ask more questions about the shape of the object
Everyone: Oh, great suggestion
Adam: Ok, is it spherical?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it cylindrical?
Everyone: Yyeeaahh, sort of, yeah.
Adam: So it's not a pure cylinder but it's cylindrical-ish?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Is it an ovaloid?
Everyone: No.
Adam: Is it an ellipsoid?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it uh... hmm... But it's longer than it is wide?
Everyone: Yes!!!
[scattered applause, we're close now]
Adam: Is it a plank of wood?
Everyone: No!!!
Barbara: It still isn't that!
Frank: No, his previous guess was stick
Adam: Yeah, a plank of wood requires processing and I couldn't make it... like it fits a lot of the other questions
Barbara: No you're right, that's fair, I'm convinced. It is a plank of wood.
Where is the object?
Adam: Could I find it inside a building or outside a building?
Everyone: Yes...
Adam: Wait. I mean. Ok, can you find it in a bathroom?
Everyone: Not really
Adam: Can you find it in a kitchen?
Everyone: Probably not
Adam: Can you find it lying on the ground?
Everyone: Yeah possibly
Adam: Is it something that people commonly use?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Is it something that people would pick up if they saw it lying there?
Everyone: Nah
It’s really not a weapon
Adam: Is it something that is dangerous at all?
Everyone: Can be, but not especially
Adam: Is any part of it sharp?
Everyone: No
Adam: Can any part of it fragment?
Everyone: [???]
Adam: Like, is it brittle?
Everyone: No
Adam: So it's firm?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it flexible?
Everyone: Yes!!
Adam: Ok! Is it a pool noodle?
Everyone: [laughter]
Adam: Which is cylindrical, flexible, and organic, dyed but not painted...
Everyone: No, we're so proud of you, you're doing great
Me: But we did say "pre-industrial"
Pinning down the object
Adam: Ok ok. Is it a solid?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Is it any of the solid hybrids, like a colloid or a gel?
Everyone: No
Adam: Does it retain its shape after being bent?
Everyone: Uh... yes?
Adam: So it doesn't spring back with any force?
Everyone: No, it doesn't spring back
Adam: Ok... so... Is it Japanese in origin, or is it found around the world?
Everyone: [assorted contradictory statements]
Me: The origin of the practice is Japan, but the origin of the object is all over
Adam: Is the object put on a person?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Is the object... um... is the object rope?
Everyone: YES!!
[scattered applause]
Me: The object is rope!
Adam: Ok!
Me: Now bring it home
Bringing it home?
Adam: Are things hung upon the rope?
Everyone: Uuuuummmmmm. Ambiguous? No.
Adam: Is the rope itself... does the rope look good?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Ok! Is this putting-on... a mark of esteem?
Everyone: No?? ???
[laughter]
Adam: So the object is a rope, and you're putting the rope on somebody
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: You're... putting rope on somebody!
Everyone: Yeah!
Adam: Is that... is that not the practice?
Everyone: No, no, it is, it is!
[confused cheering. Are we done?]
We’re not done
Chris: But, no, come on, there's more to it!
Ed: You're missing something critical!
Chris: You're so close!
Adam: Ok. Do you... hang someone?
Everyone: [strongly conflicting opinions]
Barbara: Only if you're doing it extremely wrong
Adam: Ok. But you can tie knots?
Everyone: YES!
Adam: Ok! Do you tie... is it a bracelet of some-
Everyone: No!
Adam: So it's not an adornment of any kind...
Everyone: Well...
Where on the body?
Adam: Is it put on your neck?
Chris: No
Danielle: Well, can be...
Adam: On your head?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On a limb?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: It's on a limb
Me: Not exclusively
Adam: On an arm?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On a leg?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On... uh... I've run out of limbs...
What does it mean?
Adam: Ok, it's rope, you put it on somebody, it's Japanese in origin... does it... signify something?
Everyone: Not really
Adam: Hmm. Do you tie the rope in a loop?
Everyone: ...Yeah??
Adam: I'm wondering, is it the casting of ropes upon people, like uh...
Chris: It's not a lasso, no
Frank: I like the idea of shibari as, like, a carnival game...
Barbara: I'm unclear on what the win condition is here...
Ed: I feel like there is a really important component that we haven't got yet
Everyone: Yeah, when he gets that component, he’s won
Are people into shibari?
Adam: Hmm... Did you find yourself fired by enthusiasm to do it upon being told about it?
Several people: Yes
Me: Personally no, but...
[laughter]
Adam: So it has mixed appeal?
Barbara: That is absolutely correct
Can one shibari... too hard?
Adam: Is it um, does it involve the tying of knots?
Everyone: YES
Adam: Ok. Are there knots that are peculiar to shibari?
Everyone: yeah
Adam: Is the learning of knots, or the tying of knots upon other people the important part?
Everyone: Uh... yes?
Adam: Do you tie someone up and they attempt to escape?
Everyone: Uh, not necessarily, but like, often.
Me: Yes is closer than no, I think
Adam: Ok, you tie rope on someone. Do you have to use some sort of special rope for it? Can you use any rope?
Barbara: You can use any rope, but some are better than others
Adam: So you wouldn't want to use any rough ropes, or...
Danielle: No, you do, that's actually preferred
Adam: You prefer rough ropes?
Chris: Some do
Frank: It depends
Danielle: Natural fibers tend to be rougher
Adam: Does it chafe?
Danielle: It can, but ideally not
Adam: Would you do it even if you were injured in the process of doing it?
Frank: No
Barbara: You would not want that to happen generally
Adam: Uh... Does it look cool?
Everyone: Yes!!
Origami?
Adam: So you're tying knots that look cool... is it like an origami for knots?
Everyone: [confused disagreement]
Ed: It's not about the knots
Chris: It's totally about the knots!
Frank: It's all about the cones...
Adam: Like, in origami you fold paper in ways that look cool, maybe you tie knots in ways that look cool?
Everyone: [loud disagreement]
Diagnosing the problem
[long long pause]
Chris: Ask the question in your heart!
Adam: ...Neckties?
Everyone: No?
Barbara: I keep thinking "But, he already has it", and then he asks a question that makes me say "No, he doesn't have it at all"
Frank: I think there's a question you want to ask, but you're not...
Everyone: Yeah
Chris: Yeah, ask the question that you don't want to ask
Danielle: I don't think he has the question...
Adam: Would it cause any gratification in someone?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Would it... Would it cause sexual gratification?
Everyone: Yes!!
Adam: Is it a practice... under the category of kink?
Everyone: Yes!!!
Adam: Is it tying somebody up for bondage purposes?
Everyone: YEAH!!! [Pandemonium, hollering, applause, Adam is lifted above the cheering crowd]
After the hearty congratulations were done, I wandered off, elated from the experience, and I bumped into a group of friends.
"Friends!" I said, "I just had the funniest experience. This guy didn't know what 'shibari' was, so we-"
"Shibari?" a friend interjected, "What is that, like, a Jewish building?"
"OK EVERYONE SHUT UP" I said.
"Do it scared" is out. "Do it in a fugue so dense as to barely be penetrable by uncertainty" is in.
