“Stop looking for a secret cheat code to get close to Allah. It’s not it. Master the ordinary things. There is no trick. Allah is too merciful for Him to be a secret. Like for you to have to travel to another country and study. Or do something no one else knows. Don’t try different things. Master the ordinary.
Perfect your prayers. Perfect your fasting. Help peel away the layers so you are more conscious of Allah with your heart. That is the best you could do for yourself. Allah made the pillars the most important things. So let’s not move on to bigger and better things. It’s a rouse, a trick from Shaytaan. And the returns on it are not what you think.” - Sh. Mohammad Elshinawy
I’ve been thinking about these words for a bit. Because I’ve been staring at these different Arabic courses - figuring that I really need to learn sarf and nahw, and I want to buy those huge sets of Hadith books - you know the ones - they look like Quran Mushaf’s, hardcover, a few in a set, they match so well together on a bookshelf, and all the big masjids have them. And I’ve got one of them, the Riyadh as Salih, but it’s all in Arabic. And I don’t want to buy them in the hopes of one day learning - because I don’t want to be what Allah describes in the Quran “a donkey carrying a load of books”, just carrying and not benefiting.
So I want to learn Arabic. Really badly. Not the few classes I took at Undergrad, nor the one-month intensive, and the online classes I barely had time to do. But just something with contemporary American teachers that won’t cost me an arm and a leg.
But what the sheikh said really dawned on me.
Why do I want that set of books, just to read. And still my prayers, my fard - is not complete. My prayers lack khushoo. I don’t remember the last time I had complete khushoo in every second of my prayer. Sure - it’ll come at sujood, it’ll come when the recitation are verses of love or harshness. It’ll come when I miss my parents, when I think of my families needs, or just want ease from Allah. But not in every single movement. Especially not when I’m taking a ten minute break at work and praying asr on a timer. Especially not when I’m home from my commute from work, praying quickly so I can cook some food in time to eat. Or mornings where I just want to lay in bed, so in my thashahudd, I forget if I’m still praying or done praying and just sitting. This is how bad my fard is.
So how is it that I wish to go to Azhar or even Texas to learn. How is it that I want to be able to read the Quran without translation and feel like I need classes. When I haven’t fixed the fard.
This reminder came at a perfect time for me - as I was wishing these classes were affordable and doable. That this Ramadan - the habit I want to make - is one that is not an additional thing - not a nafl or sunnah - but a fard - the fard of khushoo.
So this month - it’s okay if you do not have time for the katm of the Quran, or podcasts, seerah, hadiths, youtube.
You are all praying your salaah anyway.
So let’s really really pray it right.
Slowing down wudhu so it is better, so the tip of my nose gets water, the sides by my ears get water, and I know I am doing something for my fard, conscious that no other nation does the entire act of wudhu. That it is only because of our imaan in Allah that we make wudhu. Had we not had imaan, we would not make wudhu, because no one is really watching us in the bathroom in our homes.
Of slowing down Surah Fatiha - each letter has a right, I am reciting words that changed the fabric of humanity, words of Allah Himself. Serving my mother through this recitation because she was the one who taught me this surah - let me recite it slow enough so she gets her due rewards from Allah.
Conscious of the surahs, remember the verses impacting real people, remembering how the verses have impacted me. Yes - even the small ones. How Surah Duha comforted me during really dark times. How Sharh used to be a surah that was only a caption on facebook pictures until I as an adult decided to memorize it. How Lahab hurt the ones who hurt the Prophet SAW and how patient our Prophet SAW was with their abhorrent words. How Allah sent birds and stones to kill an army in Surah Fil, so Allah is capable of anything I can possibly want. How Surah Nasr was hard for me when I was little because I always messed it up with Surah Lahab and my mom would patiently fix me time and time again until someone taught me the trick on how to remember the last verse of Lahab.
So saying the surah, not swiftly, but with contemplation.
Going to rukoo, knowing fully that we don’t do rukoo for anyone but Allah. You would never bow even half-way that way for a human.
In sujood, placing our forehead on the ground, humbled, staying there one second longer than usual, one second longer than the amount of time it takes to say glory be to the most high.
Remembering that we are PRESENT for others - We listen carefully when our supervisors give us instructions, we listen intently when our friend shares an important story. Is God not deserving of our attention, more than the fleeting seconds?
Allah will hold me accountable for my fard first.
He will ask me of salaah, before He asks about the coursework, degrees, and hijab.
He will ask you of your salaah.
If there are insufficiencies, He will ask of your sunnah and nafl rakats to fulfill them.
I just don’t want to be asked ya rabb.
I will try so hard, that I will look down, and beg you not even to ask me. And you will see that I have tried.
May this Ramadan be one of changing our salaahs. Forever.
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