No Spoons Only Knives

✨Ur local disabled queer✨ health sector employee and all round advocate

[torksmith]

society if we could annotate spotify playlists

[exitwound]

i don’t even know what to do. every single day i don’t even know what to do

[whitepeopletwitter]

[straightboyfriend]

my favorite AITA ruling comments

[swordmouse]

I’m a fan of this one.

[quaranmine]

would like to add this one

[trash-fuckyou]

Audience note from test screening of VIDEODROME, 1983

[palebluepixel]

This person hated videodrome so much they forgot their gender

[pseudophan]

mads mikkelsen and robert pattinson need to do a movie together just because the promo interviews would be chaos personified

[pseudophan]

don't hide this in the tags say it loud and proud

[smilingformoney]

Interviewer: So what makes this film good?

Rob: It sucks.

Mads: I haven’t seen it.

[lesbx]

this is by far the funniest jigsaw_quotes post i genuinely cannot stop thinking about the sight of like, jigsaw opening his wallet in the checkout line at the Death Trap Lowe’s and he has like two pennies and a dime in there. and he just sighs

[brandneweyescd]

sorry for being weird lately it's just that ive been weird lately

[thestrawberrydreams]

Inclusive language is for everyone!!

[justnoodlefishthings]

hate capitalism and its perpetual use of buzzwords just saw an ad for lemonade with "plant-based caffeine" like where the fuck else would you get caffeine if not from a plant

[enigmasandepiphanies]

having a crush as an adult is so embarrassing, like why am I kicking my feet and giggling instead of earning enough money to get the green sofa of my dreams

[academicssay]

[pancakeke]

me: ok, sewing machine, we gotta sew this tiny fucking thing so please behave

sewing machine: needle plate hungry

[knifefightscene]

Everyone shut up about loving Summer I will literally kill Summer with my bare hand if i could

[frogpronouns]

what you need to understand about recommending a show to me is that no matter how much we both know I’ll like it, I can’t watch it until the Neurodivergence Department in my brain approves it. I don’t know when that will be, and I don’t have any more control over it than you do.

[megs-mayhem]

@unpretty

[unpretty]

it’s DIRT

[ceekari]

unmute for comically aggrieved farmer

[fieldbears]

reblogging for the second time because I still laugh uncontrollably. in my mind the cows are trying to be gracious about their strange gift. ‘yes we love it thank u’

[fizzgigfurball]

@diseonfire future?

[vet-and-wild]

I know I literally  just reblogged this but I love this video so much it always makes me laugh because

1. “LADIES”

2. The very disappointed “Eclair…”

3. “WHAT?” (High pitched mooing in response)

4. The way they turn into Pleakley from Lilo and Stitch as they get progressively more frustrated

[headspace-hotel]

Jobs ranked by how funny it would be if a robot takes them

I think "youth pastor" is probably up there

[qv]

guy that covers himself in silver paint and does the robot dance