Salty Polyamory

Monogamous culture got you down? Polyamorous pitfalls cramping your style? Here is your chance to throw some shade.

[marymoon-marymoon-deactivated20]

Polyamorous Community

So, this may be kinda of dumb, since sex, and sexuality, and anything out of the norm isn’t really “cool” with Tumblr right now, but I think it’d be kind of cool to get to know other polyam people here on Tumblr, period. So if you still have an pretty active blog, are polyamorous, practice any form of ETHICAL non-monogamy, or relationship anarchy and want to start a little polyam community, love and/or reblog this so we can all follow and communicate with one another.

[thatonewiththebluehair]

The need for a polyam outlet is why I’m still here. Always up for the discourse.

[polyintheburbs]

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

Keep the dialogue coming.

[wrenb77]

Most of my content isn’t polyamory-specific, but I’m polyamorous. And it’s one of the main topics that keeps me on Tumblr.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

I don’t know that I really post about it much other than liveblogging the three of us getting stoned but I’m here!

[the-tall-chick]

Hi yes I’m polyam and never shut up about it

[shortflamingo-deactivated202206]

Hello!

[polyamory-and-me]

Greetings

[a-yas-shit-gets-personal]

Polyamory is a primary aspect of my personality lol

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Bad Dates Remind You That Your Current Partners Are Awesome

Salty Version: Okay so listen, I know no one wants to hear this hierarchical bullshit, but my nesting partner just said “when I go on dates with other people it just makes me appreciate you more because they can’t compare to you.” AND THAT, FRIENDS, IS WHY I’M THE NESTING PARTNER. BECAUSE I KICK ASS. And you know what? I *am* grateful for non-monogamy for giving him regular reminders that we are an incredibly good match. 

Woke Version For When One Of Us Inevitably Meets Someone Awesome Instead of Lackluster and I Need to Dial Back the Cocky Bullshit: “Hey cool, more goodness has entered our lives. Thank god neither of us has to pass up on this awesomeness like those silly monogamous people force themselves to do.”

Buuuuut let’s not forget that I am setting a high score that is incredibly hard to beat. And you know why I am setting that high score? Because we are an awesome match. And also a little bit because I am just awesome myself.

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Exes Accumulate

When you have more relationships at at time, that eventually leads to more exes, and all of your partner’s exes too, and all of your ex-metamours! That is so many people to dodge whenever you go out in public! On a related note, I can never go to Planet Fitness again.

[saltypolyamory]

UPDATE: my husband ran into my ex-metamour there less than 24 hours after I posted this. Definitely can never go back.

[saltypolyamory]

Update: they now have a date scheduled for Friday. I have faced my fear of encountering the past and realized it would be kick-ass to have her as a metamour again.... As long as I don't have to see my ex.

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Exes Accumulate

When you have more relationships at at time, that eventually leads to more exes, and all of your partner’s exes too, and all of your ex-metamours! That is so many people to dodge whenever you go out in public! On a related note, I can never go to Planet Fitness again.

[saltypolyamory]

UPDATE: my husband ran into my ex-metamour there less than 24 hours after I posted this. Definitely can never go back.

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Exes Accumulate

When you have more relationships at at time, that eventually leads to more exes, and all of your partner’s exes too, and all of your ex-metamours! That is so many people to dodge whenever you go out in public! On a related note, I can never go to Planet Fitness again.

[pocket-poly]

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Knowing Exactly How Your Partner's Breakup Went Down

Under monogamy you usually learn about your partners' breakups from them months after all the action happened, and you have to wonder what side of the story you aren't hearing.

Under Polyamory, you are there in the trenches with them with a birdseye view. That means that when their ex starts talking smack, you can say with authority "quit your bullshit, that's not what happened at all, you awful toxic monster."

[mylittlepoly-family]

Compersion

After being in a documentary on polyamory, I found a podcast where our interviewer talked briefly about the concept of compersion, and how because it was an “invented” word, it can’t be real. Honestly, left me feeling gross. I left the following comment, but figured I’d drop it on here as well. The word “compersion” comes from French, and was chosen due to its “chosen family” nature. While we had a word for “happy because others suffer” - schadenfreude, “sad because others suffer” - empathy, and “sad because others are happy” - jealousy/envy, there was no word for “happy because others are happy” - so in the 1970s/80s, the word compersion came around, because being happy because others are happy is a feeling we *should* have a word for.   Also, even if we *did* have to invent a word for it, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, or that it’s a bad thing.  Since the invention of “compersion” as a word, “dwarf planet,” “heteronormativity,” and “neurodiversity” also came along, describing something that already existed.  Even the word “podcast” only came only more recently than the word “compersion” did.

[bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190]

it is really the greatest tragedy of my life that I can’t go pick a fight with people who hate polyamory every time I’m depressed

[funereal-disease]

go lurk on r/relationships; the commentariat has only recently figured out that polyamory is a thing distinct from infidelity, and it’s hilarious to watch them try to reconcile this knowledge with their instinctive and irrational dislike

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: No, I am not worried that my husband will meet someone that “replaces” me.

So first of all, in the unlikely event that he does meet someone that would make a better nesting partner for him than me, then he SHOULD choose to change nests. 

Here’s the thing, though: I am setting the bar REALLY damn high. He and I are incredibly well-suited to being life-partners together. Good friggin luck to anyone who tries to be a better domestic match for him than me! 

Every time he goes on a date with someone new I hope he has a genuinely good time, and I hope they have a good connection and that she sticks around for awhile and enhances his life. I just don’t think its very likely he will ever say “Sorry, I want to live with and procreate with someone else more than I want to do those things with you.”

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Some People Are Monogamous Because They Need To Be the Center of Attention

You know the type.

"I want a partner who treats me like I am their whole world!"

"I should be enough for them, how dare they notice that other attractive people exist?!"

"I am such a catch, anyone with me should appreciate what they have!"

I'm sure you are a great person (when you aren't being a self-centered asshole), but no matter how great you are that doesn't negate the awesomeness of literally everyone else on the planet. Get over yourself. The world will not end if you aren't being fawned over for half a second.

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: The Bachelor/Bachelorette Hurts My Brain

I don’t understand the rules of The Bachelor(ette) world. When does the rule change from “it’s time to go on dates with a bunch of different people” to “how could he have kissed *her* 2 days after he kissed *me?” Drama sells, and monogamous expectations cause a whole lotta drama, and when the entire premise of the show is literally the opposite of monogamous dating I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY MONOGAMOUS PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THIS. Are you trying to live vicariously in a world where the restrictive rules of monogamy don’t apply? Are you routing for true monogamous love to win out after all? Are you watching it because you are hoping a cat-fight will break out? Are you so dazzled by the attractive people on screen that you aren’t registering what is actually happening? WHY HAS YOUR BRAIN NOT EXPLODED FROM ALL THIS COGNITIVE DISSONANCE?! And of course, the biggest fans of these shows are married women who you KNOW used to be partiers, but are now doing everything they can to project the image of the perfect wife and mother. Don’t lie to me, you are longing for your hoe days. You just can’t admit it because monogamous culture won’t let you, and because you can’t face the fact that your husband probably misses being a bit of a hoe too.

[saltypolyamory]

I just found this meme on Facebook! Someone else understands me!

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Dear Person Who Rejected My Partner....

What is the matter with you?! My partner is awesome! What kind of self-destructive madness made you look at them and say “nah, I don’t want this awesomeness in my life???” You make terrible decisions. I SAID GOOD DAY.

[sybilius]

Love triangles? Seriously miss me with that shit. Romantic tension between three people leading to polyamory? Yes please

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: Of course your ex started dating that mutual friend of yours the moment you broke up!

The Scene: So you just got divorced after years of a lackluster marriage. You are licking your wounds and adjusting to the new normal, and then WHAM! You hear that your ex is already dating again. Worse, he’s dating someone you both knew for years while you were married! This OBVIOUSLY means he was interested in them while you were still together, and you are now entitled to throw a world-class spaz attack. The Salt: What did you expect? Did you REALLY think they went decades without encountering anyone besides yourself they had chemistry with? Now that you’ve set them free from their promise of monogamy, would you really expect them to deprive themselves any longer? Life is short! Also, don’t pretend you don’t also have suitors lining up at your door (who were ALSO mutual friends during the marriage).

TOO MUCH SALT! Even if he was secretly pining for this person during your marriage, now you know that his fidelity came at a price. He had to work for it; he had to watch years of his life slide by, wondering “what if.” He made that sacrifice for your sake. A “thank you” might be in order.

Dialing it back a little: Okay no, I don’t expect emotions to be level after a divorce. In time, I hope you find some peace. I understand why you aren’t there yet.

[marymoon-marymoon-deactivated20]

Polyamorous Community

So, this may be kinda of dumb, since sex, and sexuality, and anything out of the norm isn’t really “cool” with Tumblr right now, but I think it’d be kind of cool to get to know other polyam people here on Tumblr, period. So if you still have an pretty active blog, are polyamorous, practice any form of ETHICAL non-monogamy, or relationship anarchy and want to start a little polyam community, love and/or reblog this so we can all follow and communicate with one another.

[thatonewiththebluehair]

Again, this is the main reason I’m sticking around here.

[curiousconfusedpoly]

Same here

[saltypolyamory]

Salty Polyamory: The Bachelor/Bachelorette Hurts My Brain

I don’t understand the rules of The Bachelor(ette) world. When does the rule change from “it’s time to go on dates with a bunch of different people” to “how could he have kissed *her* 2 days after he kissed *me?” Drama sells, and monogamous expectations cause a whole lotta drama, and when the entire premise of the show is literally the opposite of monogamous dating I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY MONOGAMOUS PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THIS. Are you trying to live vicariously in a world where the restrictive rules of monogamy don’t apply? Are you routing for true monogamous love to win out after all? Are you watching it because you are hoping a cat-fight will break out? Are you so dazzled by the attractive people on screen that you aren’t registering what is actually happening? WHY HAS YOUR BRAIN NOT EXPLODED FROM ALL THIS COGNITIVE DISSONANCE?! And of course, the biggest fans of these shows are married women who you KNOW used to be partiers, but are now doing everything they can to project the image of the perfect wife and mother. Don’t lie to me, you are longing for your hoe days. You just can’t admit it because monogamous culture won’t let you, and because you can’t face the fact that your husband probably misses being a bit of a hoe too.