Holy hell I never deleted this?! Um hi, not dead, still haven't had the lobotomy. What year is it?
Yeah logged into the app to yell in the void on another account and had notifications from this one and like huh.... this exists.... weird....

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Keni
Stranger Things
occasionally subtle

Discoholic 🪩
Show & Tell
DEAR READER

JBB: An Artblog!
dirt enthusiast
No title available
Cosimo Galluzzi
styofa doing anything
almost home
Peter Solarz

★
Xuebing Du
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@saltypurpleduck
Holy hell I never deleted this?! Um hi, not dead, still haven't had the lobotomy. What year is it?
Yeah logged into the app to yell in the void on another account and had notifications from this one and like huh.... this exists.... weird....
Holy hell I never deleted this?! Um hi, not dead, still haven't had the lobotomy. What year is it?
My therapist has rescheduled my session for the fifth time in two weeks. 🙃
There it is..... this would be the correct account..... hello again cursed app!
If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.
It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblog…
the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck
bless this post
oMg????????
YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS
one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch
Reblog to help OP realise their couch dreams!
if you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump out.
if you put a frog in warm water and gradually turn up the heat until the water is boiling, the frog will remain there until it dies.
and that is an abusive relationship.
Well shit
2015-09-18, University, by Trine Watkins
Why being chronically ill and full time school don’t mix.
wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y'all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.
Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.
all this info is good for writing
but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed
ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone
Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.
Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same
Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)
This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.
use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.
Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?
I love learning.
Reblogging for DnD purposes.
now i wanna kill someone just to see if i could get away with it
Kat no.
me too kat
DO NOT MURDER
everyone’s been bringing up the Chriscourse again, so i decided to set everyone straight
Holy fuck this is amazing
#it all makes so much sense #the Chriscourse (x)
Let’s make “viking casual” a thing.
You are a delight and an inspiration, thank you.
oh sweet JESUS please come kick down my door and let me make you tea.
Wow.
And in that moment I saw @thistlebackedwulver and all was well
my dad owns a small business and today he found out that one of his male employees was sexually harassing a female coworker and sending her dick pics and shit and so my dad fired him and then immediately left work to drive to this guy’s other job and told his boss there and got him fired from two jobs in the span of like an hour lmao
Good dad. Good boss.
@ god please put colin firth in a mankini for kingsman 3 send tweet
i think the best part of this headline is “he’s ready to shed his repressed image” which is Me!
LET COLIN FIRTH WEAR A MANKINI 2019
Thinking back on that time terfs got mad that Janelle Monae and Tessa Thompson said that Pynk was inclusive of trans women, and then the terfs got so big mad that they denounced them both as “pretentious bisexuals”.
Pretentious Bisexuals is my new band name
I find it fascinating that people who choose not to have children are generally assumed to feel really strongly about not having children (or even to feel really strongly against children, anyone’s children, in general). I am probably not going to have children, not because I REALLY REALLY HATE the idea of having children, but because I don’t really really love it. Out of all the major decisions I will make in my life, this one is the only irreversible one. I can sell a house, quit a job, divorce a spouse, whatever. I cannot unhave a child. I cannot opt out of being a parent once I become a parent. I can’t even take a step back for the sake of self-care or whatever, or else my child will suffer.
So for me, having children is fuck yes or not at all. The default will be to remain childfree. Having children should be an opt-in decision, not an opt-out one. Until/unless I develop really strong feelings about wanting to have children, I won’t have them, even if that means I never end up having them at all.
This is really, REALLY well put.