Papa Salty

Your internet dad | 30 | Minors DNI

[saltys-space]

Blog got termed???? I was @onesaltysir and I guess I needed to redecorate anyways.

Anyway hi you either remember me or don’t.

Crunchy environmentalist crystal and mushroom obsessed hippie who likes zodiacs, yoga, crochet, plants, and baking. I’m a nurse??? Idk what else to put.

As per usual no minors please.

I’m your internet papa no questions asked, DMs are always open if you need your dad.

Show me what beautiful things you create :)

Show me your cat :)

That’s about it. Peace love snz.

[kaijusnz]

The idea of someone sneezing in their sleep is so cute to me. Or waking up with a sneeze. Like your nose tickled so bad you had to sneeze before you're even awake? Adorable.

[saltys-space]

“You can’t sneeze in your sleep” Shut the fuck up actually

[dr-ground-zero]

soft comforting inducing session where you're cuddling and being praised while being induced Maybe its a bad cold and A's so horribly stuffed up, but they're also a bit sensitive from all the rubbing and trying to blow making their nose raw.

B craddles A into them while they push a rolled of tissue into their nose. Immediately A stiffens and their nostrils flare. B can feel it too, how their breath catches. "that's right it tickles i know" B says softly and swirls the tissue around in small circles till they find a spot that triggers a stuffy blunt snz B does it a few more times and things start moving A whimpers and snuggles up more to B and B keeps going this time a lil more vigorous this time their gasps are more desperate and vocal, they need to snz so bad! Finally the tissue touches a spot that really sets A off and each snz breaks through the wall of congestion till its melting down their face and onto B's chest. All the while B is rubbing A's back, praising them, maybe even kissing their nose in between fits when a snz gets stuck they're careful in how they wipe A's nose and everything else and A is finally able to breath a little

[doublegsnz]

I saw a woman at the train station today who was *fighting for her life* against a sneeze!! Nostrils flaring, rubbing her nose, breath hitching, eyes half closing, everything. She went in and out of that kind of ‘on the verge of sneezing’ look a few times, until it was pretty obvious that she was going to lose control (I was almost passed out by this point).

I was so hoping it would be a big, powerful sneeze, but instead she sneezed three huge stifles, like “HhhGNNKK!” Big breath “HuhGGHHNNKK!” Big breath “HUH-CCNNK!” (I can’t spell stifles!!)

At this point the combination of her (likely) hay fever and mine were making *me* need to sneeze, but then my train came, so I managed to hold it back!

[rosieb2]

Okay, can we normalize woman with loud sneezes. I swear there is nothing hotter than woman with big, loud, desperate sneezes! And I feel like not enough of them exist 😿😿😿

[themiseryandcompany]

when a character is too cute and damp and pathetic, i take physical damage. like it hurts so good when they’re wet and miserable and dripping. i’m gonna fuckjng bite them in half

[brandnewcouch]

happy pride to the asexual snzfuckers who were very confused about how they could be into no one and also snz at the same time! it’s a wild experience, but i love that there are so many of us on here and that the snz community is so inclusive when it comes to asexuality <3

[buckysnose]

Underrated snz trope: someone with a bad cold being unable to stifle or silence their sneezes because their throat is too sore

[feferig]

the way the image of a person, distinctly sniffly and huddled into a cardigan and pushing their glasses hopelessly up the bridge of their nose every now and then, can absolutely break my brain

[hitchykitty]

HAPPY PRIDE LGBTQ+ SNZFUCKERS ILY ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

whether you’re out & proud, in the closet, questioning, or whatever, ILYSM I’m so happy you’re here!!!!!

[sydneycreacher]

Snz thought: partner finding out they have the kink through being taken care of through a REALLY bad cold or flu

[sickromancer]

Ok but what about the handsome, kind (or handsome, nasty?) regency gent who spends his summers at the manor house of a rich aunt or great aunt in the middle of meadows and pastures and lush gardens and he has massive hayfever...

...and he is both mortally embarrassed and turned on by it. And turned in by the embarrassment and embarrassed of how turned on he is.

Starting every morning with a ludicrous sneezing fit, sneezing as he gets up, just sits on the bed and sneezes and blows his nose for a good while, conscious of the fact that he's being heard through the door by anyone who happens to pass by and so embarrassed by the thought. Another guest knocking the door and asking if he's alright, he blushes up to his ears. "Don't mind!" he pipes with a stuffy voice, and sneezes. "Thank you!"

And he's embarrassed by the fact that the servants have obviously been told to keep his nighstand stacked with neat piles of handkerchiefs because he has a streaming hayfever. His hayfever is accounted in how the household is run. Embarrassed, and shamefully turned on.

Perhaps he's adamant about dressing himself because he can't just sneeze all over a manservant first thing in the morning. Or perhaps he just holds a handkerchief to his nose through the whole process, switching hands when needed.

And then there's the breakfast to get through, all the comments, the inquiries about his health, the gentle frowns from the women and jokes from the men, friendly or crass. The smartass cousin who will bless him as she's leaving: "Bless you times thirty-eight" because she counts to vex him. What she doesn't know is that she's also getting him painfully hard.

The well meaning chaps trying to arrange him a meeting with a lady in the garden. Just generally being constantly perceived and commented, though sometimes it's even worse when he's alone, fully gives in to sneezing and blowing his nose, then remembers how easy it is to hear him through the door.

[peter-steeles-wife]

*announcer/infomercial voice.*

you’ve heard of ‘sneezing due to being caught in rain.’

you know it - you love it.

but, have you heard of this new thing - sweeping the nation by storm?

ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between - for your viewing pleasure, we are proud to give you:

sneezing due to being partially - or fully - submerged in a cold body of water!

clothes sold separately. tissues/handkerchiefs not included.

[seasnz]

someone who doesn’t normally have big sneezes, catches a cold from their partner, which didn’t cause them to have big sneezes, and yet the moment this cold takes hold they succumb to the biggest, most violent, forceful sneezes they have ever experienced. thank you.

[snzsuckers]

A sick one desperately holding back a sneeze because they just KNEW it would be so strong that it would wreck their body in their current state

[oh-no-my-hand-slipped]

Someone who their partner can tell is HEALTHIER because of their sneezes.

When they first met, the person had small, fittish, exhausting sneezes that left them breathless and extremely congested, but that didn’t relieve them at all because they just didn’t have it in them to sneeze in a way that would.

But after a few months of good meals, more rest, reminders to shower, and plenty of cuddling, it’s like they sneeze like a completely different person. Strong, to-the-point, hitting a distance with their spray — it surprises both of them, even now.