Kaze | No pronoun pref | Bi Ace | Sneezing Kink | Whump/illness/injury fixation | Blog is 90% sfw | I'm 30+ | Sickfic Masterlist | Ko-Fi
| Icon/Header by @kotyonoksnz | Kazewrites on AO3 I OC info @kazes-characters
Person is feeling a bit of chill from the weather. However, instead of taking care right now to make sure they don’t advance into anything worse, they decided to train even harder and getting themselves into even colder/wetter situations just to prove that they are NOT getting sick.
hello and welcome to a completely unscientific shitpost featuring a selected list of what I am deeming to be:
extremely snzfucker-coded plant species
aka plants from around the world that are either onto us (or one of us)
please do not reblog to non-snz blogs // Minors DNI (18+ blog)
Hi, I'm Leni and you may remember me from the post I wrote titled the snzfucker's guide to the snziest plants. I'm a plant ecologist and snzfucker (and generally just a huge nerd) and while this post will be based in facts, I'm about to be deeply unserious and mildly chaotic, so please enjoy. Or scroll on by if that's not your thing.
In this post you'll be introduced to:
Longleaf Pine (used to treat colds AND fight allergies - she's doing the most)
Pampas Grass (the feather duster of the plant kingdom with a kinky backstory)
Q-tip Tree (you'll understand why when you see it, I promise)
Handkerchief Tree (yes, that's the actual common name)
California Tree Poppy (aka the used Kleenex flower)
Let's dive in!
Longleaf Pine
Alright, first up we have Pinus palustris, commonly known as the Longleaf Pine that, by all appearances, seems to have evolved specifically for inducing. The dried leaves (needles) of this species have long been used for treating colds and other respiratory ailments, as they are high in Vitamin C and also acts as an expectorant (thinning mucous/clearing congestion). Dried leaves can be brewed into an herbal tea that is often mixed with peppermint and other beneficial, cold-soothing herbs.
Fun fact: Extracts of its pollen are widely used as the standard for pine allergy testing and immunotherapy in the United States. While many plants in the Pine family produce highly allergenic pollen, this particular species is less allergenic than its relatives, as its pollen is heavier and tends to drop to the ground instead of being light and easily airborne.
snzfucker rating: 10/10. This plant has it all, including cold + allergy lore + pine needles that are safe to induce with which truly just look like they've evolved specifically for that purpose. what? who said that?!??
Pampas Grass
Next up we have Cortaderia selloana or Pampas Grass. The resemblance to a feather duster is, well…do I even need to go on? Well, I'm going to go on an anyway. It's also an extremely allergenic, wind-pollinated grass. Ever seen comments of plants with people saying "haha wow even this photo made me sneeze"? Yeah, well, this plant is the perfect candidate for whatever...that is.
Fun fact: This widely cultivated and once popular garden plant was the subject of a kink-related urban legend dating back to the 1970s following claims that those who planted it in their front yards were identifying as a swinger household. As a result, its popularity plummeted - because people were afraid to plant it in their yards! Which, in my opinion, is good outcome, as this species is often highly invasive outside its native range (...I can neither confirm nor deny that this rumor was initially started by conservationists/ecologists).
snzfucker rating: 9/10. bonus points for being the feather duster of the plant kingdom + having kink lore + being extremely allergenic... but I've subtracted several points because, well, we hate invasive species in this house, folks.
Q-Tip Tree
Next on the list is Clerodendrum quadriloculare aka the Q-Tip Tree. I don’t think I have to elaborate on why this made the list. I think y'all should just look at the photo and nod along with me.
Fun fact: This species is a member of the mint (Lamiaceae) family, believe it or not! Many members of this plant family have invasive tendecies when introduced outside their native range. It's also known as the 'Starburst Bush' which is a pretty groovy name, in my opinion. Obviously, I'm going to stick with the alternative Q-Tip Tree.
snzfucker rating: 7/10. Its definitely got some "👀" qualities... if you know what I mean.
Handkerchief Tree
Yes, seriously. Davidia involucrata is known as the Handkerchief Tree because of its white bracts that flutter in the breeze like pinched handkerchiefs. Again...do I need to elaborate?
Fun fact: This plant takes up to 10 years to flower after planting! Well worth the wait, in my opinion. It's native to the woodlands of southern China and prefers... moist/wet conditions...😈 ...no, seriously, it does. I'm not just shit-posting here. Well I am, but...this is genuinely true.
snzfucker rating: 8.75/10. It's freakin' called the handkerchief tree, y'all. Spectacular. No notes.
California Tree Poppy
Last but not least we have Romneya coulteri aka the California Tree Poppy which bears such a remarkable resemblance to used tissues that folks will often post photos to gardening/flower-related Facebook groups asking others to help identify “this flower that looks like a bunched up Kleenex.”
Fun fact: This plant is native to California, and has the largest petal width of any wildflower in California! Plus, it smells very sweet - remarkably like apricots.
snzfucker rating: 8/10. Any plant that resembles a crumpled tissue is pretty darn snzfucker-coded if you ask me. Want to imagine your fav sneezing into a flower? This might be the ideal one!
🌾 🌼 🌲
I hope you enjoyed this silly little post. Feel free to reply/reblog with your thoughts/alternative ratings. I'll be back soon with another post about plants that have been used throughout history to treat colds and all the snience (snz science, hehe) behind it! 😊
i’m such a fever lover bro. like yes you’re delirious. yes you’re sweaty but you’re shivering. yeah you’re cuddling up to whoever, yeah you’re pathetic.
Idk how to say this without sounding cringe but I started watching the tv run of Perry Mason and a) Raymond Burr is kind of a baddie, b) I did not realize that man just commits crimes constantly in his course of lawyering, and c) was startled when one of the epilogues to one of the episodes he was inexplicably sick and Della was playing nursemaid for a couple minutes when that was definitely not the case during the actual trial or investigation
Anth/ony He/ad who played Gil/es on BTVS has died. I am so crushed he was one of the characters which inspired Gabriel. I loved his look, bookish smarts but Gil/es also was a badass.
I know he was in more shows but he'll forever be Gil/es to me.
Thank you so much to @shamefilledsnzblog for commissioning me and bestowing the pleasure it was to draw your OC! This was so much fun. There’s just something about long haired men…ugh. Commission me! All prices are completely negotiable! Thank you guys some much.
the way the image of a person, distinctly sniffly and huddled into a cardigan and pushing their glasses hopelessly up the bridge of their nose every now and then, can absolutely break my brain
to anyone on snzblr who is seeing ta/dc in the theater please don't spoilers as even tho Im going thru and adding tags a lot of us dont use the normal ones so we're not seen in searches. and I cant add all the versions to my block list
I honestly trust snzblr better than the greater internet in keeping the spoilers hidden until it drops on youtube but still being paranoid xD
sneezing while browsing through a record store. boxes and boxes of used, dusty vinyl to sift through in a cramped space. all the shuffling through the boxes causes more of that musty, well-loved smell to filter through the air - as well as more dust.
shelves that haven’t been dusted or well-kept in ages harbouring more of that tingly, tickly dust. sneezing could ruin the vinyl sleeves, or worse, cause you to bump into another box and unleash more dust into your already irritated nose.
romaincrisis
snowghoul
2087
