Batfam stuff!

Hey I am Sam and a new Batfam fan.

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Dick: A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear Jason: Unless it’s 3am, you’re home alone and you don’t have a baby

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Jason: Someone once told me that shooting stars are just angels throwing away their cigarettes before god could catch them smoking. Tim: So, when people donate money for god, the angels are actually buying cigarettes with it? Dick: I heard they also drink and when they puke in their bathrooms making it dirty so they pee in the clouds which is rain for us. Bruce, holding a really annoyed Damian back: You three aren’t allowed to talk anymore Stephanie: It’s a pretty solid theory though....

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Dick: Major depression is on the rise among everyone Jason: Well, I mean. *gestures broadly at everything*

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Jason: I will give a hydration tip. Drinking 1 gallon of water a day helps you avoid other people’s drama because you would be too busy peeing Tim: You had me there for a second

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Damian: People really be grown and still be using umbrellas? Jason: You supposed to become waterproof after you turn 18 or something? 

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Dick Grayson: Don’t look now but the guy behind you is- Wally West: *immediately turns around*

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Alfred: Stop joking around, Master Jas- Jason: *puts a big bell on Ace’s head* Look Alfie, a hat for Ace

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Tim: You don’t need a license to fly a hot air balloon Jason: Even if I do, who’s going to stop me? Balloon Cops?

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Jason: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first

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Jason: I’m just one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. 

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Dick: I see something beautiful in your eyes, Babs Barbara: What is it? Dick: My reflection

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Jason, texting: U know y ppl always type ‘congrats’? Because they can’t spell congrethuloins

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Jason, on a call with Dick: Turn Around! Jason: In the other direction! Jason: No! Turn around again! Dick: Where are you! I don’t see anywhere! Jason: I’m out of town. I just thought of you being a doofus spinning in circles and I just needed a video so I made Tim take a video of you Tim, near Dick: *waving*

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Tim, sleep deprived: Six without S is 9 Jason: I don’t get it

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Identifying

Jason: My talent is identifying birds Dick: *shows a pic of a bird* Okay, what’s this one? Jason: Yep, that’s a bird

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Jason: Knock knock Dick: Who’s there? Jason: You can no longer Dick: You can no longer who? Jason: You can no longer send messages to me Dick: Jason, this is a real life conversation Jason: Ya, I know. Just blocking you right now

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Cute

Dick: I think I am cute. People say I am cute. My girlfriend says I am cute but my phone camera is like ‘Satan! Where did you come from?’