jerk.

i have nothing interesting to say.

[superstargregory]

forensic files narrator: … and he left his finger prints on the door knob…

me eating my 5th mozzarella stick: you absolute fucking idiot

[memescomedy]

[the-real-ted-cruz]

i love how unproblematic firefighters are. they just wanna put out the fires. 

[richard-hollabackgirl-nixon]

I used to think that.

[the-real-ted-cruz]

that’s so ominous wtf did the firefighters do to you

[slightmood]

psychic: you’re going to die in a car accident sometime soo- 

me: *is sprinting to the parking lot*

psychic: uh…..don’t you wanna finish the session?

me:

[womp138-deactivated20181105]

Napping together is an important part of a relationship

[meshugenist]

if marx was real what would his tumblr url be

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

if marx was real

[jackmeatington]

person: hey are you ticklish at all? me: *takes 8 steps back* me: …….no……..

[romanticfish]

😈This is sooooo Daddy

[jackmeatington]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[russiawave]

[regularlesbian]

his name is basil

[h0odrich]

me getting thru another day of not kms

[peachtimes-deactivated20220831]

The ghost in my room asked me to eat her pussy out

[m86-deactivated20171116]

i see everyone’s having fun this halloween

[fyeahmovieclub]

[totalspiffage]

If you’re going to space. You have to be prepared to fuck the aliens. Or like at least one person on your crew does I get that it’s not everyone’s thing. I’m just saying. Someone’s gotta do it.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

top comment on a “pettiest reason you stopped dating someone” thread sincerely knocked the wind out of me

[iloveamelia-deactivated20190212]

[urie]

why is no one talking about this???

[wrong information]

[afrorevolution]