I bet on losing dogs

There's nothing wrong with going nowhere son, it's a privilege of youth

[mytearsrricochet]

[uberfluss]

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

[thesebonesbite]

Magnus Archives fan I see

[partywithponies]

THIS IS SO FUNNY I'M SORRY

[itberice]

1.10 / 2.09 / 3.01

[lesbianshepard]

Current twitter drama is Europeans confidently declaring that they don't need to drive or use overpriced public transport to get to the MetLife stadium for the World Cup; they will simply walk down the highway to get there. Girl it's New Jersey. They're gonna splatter you for fun.

[lesbianshepard]

If you manage to get on the turnpike before the cops stop you, a soccer mom is gonna do the Jersey slide in a RAV4 and turn your entire group into a wet speedbump

[bunjywunjy]

this? you want to walk down this????

please say sike

[bunjywunjy]

IT'S NOT A FUCKING STREET IT'S AN 8-LANE SUPERHIGHWAY THAT GOES OVER A SWAMP

[greenekangaroo]

Guys you will get killed.

I am not exaggerating.

Someone will get hit by a fucking truck and they will die instantly.

Like i get it haha Americans football whatever we are being SO FUCKING SERIOUS when we say your lives will be in mortal fucking peril if you even MAKE it to the highway.

And our Healthcare? Is not free.

So not only will you die but someone will owe a lot of fucking money for it.

[the-haiku-bot]

Someone will get hit

by a fucking truck and they

will die instantly.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sarahslittlehellescape]

Imagine everybody loves your butch wife so much that your lesbian relationship with her is widely accepted in rural town 1930's Alabama

Happened to my good friend, Ruth Jamison (and her wife Idgie Threadgoode)

[stuckinapril]

i love it when you start doing little things different & notice how much you’ve grown as a person just by that. like you from a year ago would not have handled that situation the way you are now. you’ve changed for the better. & that is so satisfying

[emwheezie]

It's an important day... Neil has been banging out those tunes for 19 years now! Updated version of this as prints available here under Home Goods > Wall Art!

[sistertaxon]

[sistertaxon]

[sistertaxon]

[sistertaxon]

[teaboot]

I need to start using other sources for news

[owlservice]

Me every night

[oneheadtoanother]

[gallamy]

Now what the fuck is this picture

[almostdefinitelydying]

The early 2000s distilled down to its very essence.

[necrofuturism]

he's jacking off their invisible cyber dicks

[reverendharrow]

THIS. is the beast ☝️🤓 that's a muffin 🤣 i see a cloud 🌥 but with a face 😶 if you take that main squiggle 〰️ for an eye 👁 i thought it was a flower 🌸👶 no yes there's something .... florescent about it 🤔 thought it was a snake 🐍 in a bush 🌳 I HATE YOU ALL 🤬 I HAVE HATED YOU FOR MILLENIA 🤬 except you my lord 😔 thanks 😊 i merely want to put you in jail 🔒 and fill up the jail with acid once for every time you made a frivolous remark 👌👈 or ate peanuts 🥜during a cohort admiralty meeting or said what would i know 🤔 im only gOD 😇 then at the end of a thousand years you would say mercy 😣 ive learned not to do any of those things 🙅‍♀️ because i haaaated the acid you put on me 😩 and i would say that is why i did it lord 😌 i did it for you and for your empire 🙏 i often think about this 😁

[manny-jacinto]

Bend It Like Beckham (2003)

[coldasyou]

I was wrong, not delusional.

[tarragonthedragon]

i love it when tv shows make their weirdest, most out-there and experimental episodes plot crucial btw like hell yeah good luck skipping the musical episode of buffy or the time loop episode of person of interest or the trapped in a tv show episode of supernatural

[aletheyass]

va che workflow sta margherita

[handweavers]

i keep thinking about this post and laughing