What do you do when it's not your fault?
I was diagnosed with what was then Asperger syndrome at age 10 in 1998. I remember a clear dividing line in the quality of my education and social life before and after my diagnosis. Before, I had friends and I was a great student. After, I was deliberately undersocialized, forced into special ed programs, and had my agency taken away from me for the rest of my childhood and well into my young adulthood.
Among the decisions taken out of my hands were opportunities to explore my interests and choose where I went to college. My father was never going to let me go to a four-year school with a journalism program where I could take the traditional path to success in sports media. And because he limited my social opportunities and forbade me from getting a job or learning to drive (it literally took two therapists to convince him that yes, I did in fact need a social life with people born after the Truman administration, and the material support that goes with it), I couldn't see friends or participate in activities on my own terms.
As for college, I was forced to go to residential programs for young adults with learning differences and take classes at community colleges with little or no athletics offerings. Around this time I was beginning to realize and develop my talents for sports writing and announcing. In fact, I had some experience at my town’s local access station just before starting college, but the college AD wasn't interested in broadcasts. So by the time I realized I wanted a career in sports media, the damage had been done. My mental health was in the toilet, I was set too far back to get the opportunities I needed, and I was no longer in a position where I could take an unpaid internship.
Fast forward to today, and I’ve worked freelance for most of the last 20 years, in sports media and also random odd jobs, with inconsistent, insufficient success. I lost the one full-time job I ever had after a year and a half. My father tried to support my efforts but often backed off due to his own lack of understanding. And when unpacking all this in therapy, he said he had nothing to apologize for because he was doing what the experts of the day said, despite all the research that has come out that has proven how wrong those “experts” were.
And here’s the cruel irony: He had a 30-year career in international public health. He should understand the damage bad information does to people. Doctors used to say smoking was good for you, after all.
So as I apply for jobs, I am hindered by the fact that I have not learned, nor have I had the opportunity to learn, some of the skills they require. And I can’t think of a single employer in my field - TV stations, newspapers, PBP jobs, collegiate athletics communications, you name it - that will allow me to learn the missing skills on the job. And I'm still not in a position to learn on an unpaid basis.
It wasn’t even my choice.