so @perlukafarinn created a frenemies au that infected my brain and this is what came out of it
disclaimer: I’ve never really written fanfic nor smut and also I don’t really know how penises work
“We are Not watching house hunters again,” Ilya said as he snatched the remote out of Shane’s hand, “You get way too upset. “
Shane huffed, “They were asking for $700k when the house had cheaply painted cabinets and laminate wood flooring, it was a crime and the realtor should be fired.”
Ilya gave a small smile with a shake of his head and started to scroll through the channels.
The two boys were next to one another on the couch, a blanket laid across them and Ilyas legs stretched in front of him, feet resting on the coffee table.
“I’m not watching one of your trashy reality shows,” Shane grumbled.
“Too late,” Ilya said as he changed the channel and put the remote down. Shane wasn’t sure what the show was about, but they had flipped to it while a group of girls ran a bikini car wash, all of them pretending to spill the soapy water on them as men leered. It looked the start to an amateur porn. Shane didn’t know why Ilya watched things like this but he knew arguing about it was futile.
He was trying to pay attention to the show when he noticed the blanket raise slightly out of the corner of his eye and when he glanced over he saw Ilyas hand was slowly moving up and down under the blanket. Shane risked a quick look at Ilya who was still staring at the tv, no sign that anything different was happening.
Shane forced himself to look back at the tv and fought against his desire to look over again. He could hear the quick jerks but he refused to give in. This became harder when a small moan escaped Ilya, Shane wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not.
Trying not to react to what was happening became harder as Shane felt a slight shift in his own pants and watched the blanket rise slightly in his lap.
He almost gave into his urge and looked over when he felt a hand resting on his inner thigh. He risked a glance at Ilya but the other boy was still focused on the tv, both of his hands under the blanket now.
Shane held his breath as the hand started sliding up his leg, goosebumps forming underneath his sweatpants. Eventually the hand got to his crotch and he felt himself harden more as the hand started softly stroking him through the fabric.
When the hand moved upwards once again Shane twitched at the feeling of soft fingers resting at his waistband. Slowly the fingers slipped underneath and wrapped around Shane’s leaking cock. A small whimper escaped Shane’s mouth but Ilya didn’t react outside of moving his hand a little faster.
Shane bit his lip to keep more noises from erupting from him.
As the women on the show continued to dance around and the men continued to ogle them, Ilya’s hands sped up. Another whine slipped out of Shane and Ilya replied with a small groan of his own.
The boys crested over at the same time, Shane biting his lip to keep from moaning Ilya’s name.
Ilya was slow to remove his hand from Shane, allowing them both a moment for their heavy breathing to settle. Once they had both come back down Ilya slipped his hands out and grabbed two tissues from the table next to him and wiped his hands.
I don't believe in christian babies. I believe in babies, i believe in christians, but a baby doesn't have the agency and cognitive abilities required to chose and/or live a faith. There's babies of christian parents, of course, as well as babies that have been introduced into the system that is the christian church, but that does not make them christian yet.
Long story short, i did not hit a christian baby into the stratosphere, officer.
actually annoyed by long distance friends again. i want to go for a walk i want to get drinks i want to sit in the grass and write i want to go to the fucking store together
sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "mmmhmmm okay yeah i see we both interpreted that differently based on what the show gave us, but i see how you arrived at your ideas even if they're different from mine," and then sometimes you see Takes™ that make you go "brother what show did you even fucking watch"
first post for context / see the tag 'open relationship au' for more snippets or the masterlist so kindly put together by @tafkarfanfic. we're nearing the end now! just two parts left.
July 2015
Under normal circumstances, returning to Russia feels like treading water.
Ilya keeps himself busy. He trains, he cares for his father, and on the weekends he drinks and parties and fucks his way through Moscow's best nightclubs. It's all just enough to keep him afloat.
But these aren't normal circumstances. Right now, Ilya feels like he's drowning.
He ruined everything in Vegas. Approaching Shane the way he did, pushing his feelings onto him and demanding he break up with his boyfriend. Ilya doesn't know what the right words would have been in that scenario but he does know that he picked exactly the wrong ones.
And still, he didn't appreciate at the time how badly the night went until the radio silence from Shane that followed. The night before his flight to Moscow, Ilya caved and sent a text. Shane read it almost immediately but he hasn't replied.
Ilya understands rejection when he sees it.
Worse than his own broken heart is knowing that Shane is suffering, too. Ilya doesn't know how Brian convinced Shane to stay with him but he sure as fuck knows he didn't do it by becoming a better person. Men like him don't change.
So Ilya failed. He failed himself and he failed Shane, and all he can do about it now is drown his sorrows.
Sveta helps. She follows him from club to club, drinks with him so he doesn't have to do it alone. She hits the dance floor when he insists he's fine, really, go have fun, but she's always there to drag his ass home at the end of the night.
"You'll figure it out," she tells him in the backseat of a taxi one night, her hand soft on top of his.
She doesn't even know what happened. Ilya would rather die than tell her how badly he fucked up. "I won't."
"You will," Sveta says with absolute confidence. "As soon as you're done feeling sorry for yourself."
Ilya wants to tell her it's not himself he feels most sorry for.
His hangover the next morning is thankfully mild. The emotional hangover - he's pretty sure he shed a few tears while hugging Sveta goodnight, how pathetic - is much worse.
Still, Ilya keeps the blinds drawn and the lights low as he goes through his morning routine. He eats is breakfast in a distracted daze, mind running through memories of last night (he didn't cry in front of the taxi driver, too, did he?). It takes him a few moments to notice that his phone is ringing.
He glances down and nearly drops it in surprise.
Shane is calling.
Ilya has the phone by his ear before he can even stop to think.
"Hi," Shane says again. His voice is tinny and far away and Ilya misses him so much it aches. "I, um. Sorry. I know we don't really call but it's been a weird night."
Ilya does a quick calculation in his head. "It is still night for you, Hollander."
"I guess so, yeah." Shane laughs. "I just got home, and I realized it would be morning for you and I just - I wanted to talk to you."
Ilya's heart is pounding. This has to be a good sign, right? Shane wouldn't call in the middle of the night just to tell him he never wants to see him again.
Shane clears his throat. "I wanted to apologize, first of all. About Vegas. And about not responding to your text."
Ilya is shaking his head before he realizes that Shane can't see him. "Don't. I should be apologizing. I didn't mean to push you like that."
There's a long silence.
Then, "I'm glad you did. What you said... I needed to hear it."
Ilya doesn't know how to interpret that, can't read Shane over the phone like this.
"I thought about it after you left," Shane continues. "What I really want. If I'm happy. I don't think I've done that in... fuck, maybe ever. Not since I decided I wanted to be a professional hockey player."
Ilya laughs, because God. That is so Shane.
"I think - I think we could be happy. Together." Shane's voice is quiet but steady. Ilya's hand curls, itching with the need to touch him. "I want us to try, at least."
"I want that, too," Ilya says thickly.
Shane lets out a shuddering breath. "Fuck. Okay. Good, that's - good."
"So you and Brian - ?"
"I tried breaking it off," Shane says, and Ilya is flooded with relief for a moment before his brain snags on the word 'tried'. "Last week. I invited him over to end it. I was so sure that I didn't want to be together anymore, I don't know how I let him change my mind." He laughs, a bitter sound. "Bad habit, I guess. I don't know, I had a whole speech prepared. It threw me off when he showed up with a black eye."
Ilya winces. "Ah. I'm sorry about that."
He's not, really, but it feels like the thing to say.
"Sorry about what?"
"About... punching him?"
"Ah." He hears Shane exhaling slowly. "That's not - he told me something else."
This surprises Ilya. He would have figured Brian would relish in the opportunity to make him look like a violent thug.
"He tried to punch me first," Ilya offers.
"Of course he did," Shane mutters. "That's - I'm getting off topic."
"Sorry," Ilya says, more sincerely this time.
"I met someone tonight," Shane says, and Ilya's heart seizes before he continues, "Rose. She kind of... talked sense into me. I didn't realize how bad things have been with Brian until she laid it all out."
Ilya is glad for it but also, "I told you he was an asshole many years ago."
"Can't imagine why I might have thought you'd have an ulterior motive," Shane says dryly.
This is fair.
"But you will break up with him now," Ilya says, not quite as confidently as he'd like.
"I want to," Shane says. His voice has gone tight. "I'm just scared."
Ilya feels cold. "He would hurt you?"
"I'd kick his ass if he tried." It calms Ilya's heart, how quickly and certainly Shane says it. "But I don't trust my own judgment, I guess. I don't think he could change my mind again, but I didn't think he could the first time, either."
"I'll come with you."
The offer has left Ilya's lips before he can think twice. But he means it, truly.
"You'll come with me?" Shane repeats, baffled. "To break up with my boyfriend?"
Right. Maybe this is a strange suggestion. "Or I will be close by. For moral support."
"But you're in Russia."
"I will be back in..." Ilya hesitates, calculating the shortest possible amount of time it would take him to put all his affairs in order, "four days."
"Really?"
"Really," Ilya says. He will have to look up flights as soon as he hangs up. "If this is alright?"
"Are you sure? You must have other plans."
Ilya waves his hand. "Nothing that can't wait."
"If you're sure," Shane says. His voice is shaking, a little bit.
i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real
