Samus-Aran-offical

"The baby"

[wartortles-deactivated20180708]

your 12th emoji is how you'll die

[splorgoborgobo]

☕️

[male09-offical]

🫁

Lung Cancer.

Atleast it ain’t a headcrab. Or a stray thrown crowbar.

Looking at you, Gordon.

@hl2-freeman-official

[hl2-freeman]

🦐

Killed by shrimps. Damn.

Also you know better than to stand where I’m swinging. At least I hope so…

🔫🦐

Oop. I should probably start running.

[freemans-mind-offical]

❓️

Great, a mystery! Just what I needed to hear. Maybe it means I won’t die at all… That’d be nice. Except then I’d have to watch everyone I know die. Which isn’t as nice

[hl1-freeman]

💔

A broken heart? Nonsense. I know better than to love anything.

[samus-aran-offical]

🏳️‍⚧️

Trans on Trans violence…

[hl1-freeman]

Is this how we find out Ridley transitioned?

[samus-aran-offical]

I suppose so!

[wartortles-deactivated20180708]

your 12th emoji is how you'll die

[splorgoborgobo]

☕️

[male09-offical]

🫁

Lung Cancer.

Atleast it ain’t a headcrab. Or a stray thrown crowbar.

Looking at you, Gordon.

@hl2-freeman-official

[hl2-freeman]

🦐

Killed by shrimps. Damn.

Also you know better than to stand where I’m swinging. At least I hope so…

🔫🦐

Oop. I should probably start running.

[freemans-mind-offical]

❓️

Great, a mystery! Just what I needed to hear. Maybe it means I won’t die at all… That’d be nice. Except then I’d have to watch everyone I know die. Which isn’t as nice

[hl1-freeman]

💔

A broken heart? Nonsense. I know better than to love anything.

[samus-aran-offical]

🏳️‍⚧️

Trans on Trans violence...

[chuckuddin]

Samu Aran

[bamber344]

metroid dread base power suit got me actin unwise

[samus-aran-offical]

Elaborate.

[bamber344]

I am carnally attracted to your power suit

[samus-aran-offical]

Understandable, my suits are quite pretty.

[bamber344]

metroid dread base power suit got me actin unwise

[samus-aran-offical]

Elaborate.

[belphegor-offical]

Officals! Reblog with the reason you chose your name.

Mine is bcus I'm awful at switching between blogs and being inactive is in character for the Sin of Sloth.

Also one of the only deadly sins that wasn't already taken and I wanted to be one of them

Tags bcus I wanna see at least a few replies:

@satan-offical @odd-masked-man-offical @lemon-offical @da-police-offical @evil-duck-offical @evil-bread-offical @asbestos-official @homosexuality-offical

[number5offical]

ive always felt a connection with the number 5

[trans-boy-thing-offical]

I'm trans and something similar to a boy ig

[i-am-offical]

COGITO ERGO SUM, I THINK THEREFORE I AM

[geneticlifeform-official]

Because "glados-official" Was Taken. And So Was "aperture-official". So I Hope Those Impersonators Are Enjoying Stealing My Identity.

Or They're Enjoying Being In Alternate Dimensions. I Haven't Ruled That Out Either.

[rattmann-offical]

And I'm literally just Rattmann.. decided to be offical instead of official just because i thought it was more goofy :]

[hl1-freeman]

Gordon Freeman haunts me daily so I decided to take it as an opportunity to be funny.

[samus-aran-offical]

Samus is bc I adore her and couldn't make an Adam one because there's an official for the biblical character. This was better to avoid confusion.

[hl1-gman]

Excuse me, I can't help it but be curious about your little tricks. You know, where you're somehow watching Gordon without getting caught? Could you teach me them, I think they might come in handy for a future bounty...

- @samus-aran-offical

I Find This Panel From Bryan Lee O'Malley's Library To Be A Particularly Succinct Explanation

[samus-aran-offical]

Now I think of it, I suppose boost ball might work just as well.

This also helps.

[hl1-freeman]

can i see your passport?

No. 🖕🖕

[benrybenrybenrybenrybenrybenry]

damn man. you dont gotta be so mean about it

[hl1-freeman]

Do you know how many people have asked me this.

[benrybenrybenrybenrybenrybenry]

wha

[hl1-freeman]

Everyone’s thirsty for my ID nowadays.

[ageblue-aka-varnah-g]

What ID. He's talking he's talking about your PASSPORT mr. Gordon sir!

[hl1-freeman]

Which is a form of ID. What is happening?!

[samus-aran-offical]

Beat them with your crowbar, that is your ID.

[hl1-freeman]

… Tempting.

[samus-aran-offical]

Yes, good.

[hl1-freeman]

can i see your passport?

No. 🖕🖕

[benrybenrybenrybenrybenrybenry]

damn man. you dont gotta be so mean about it

[hl1-freeman]

Do you know how many people have asked me this.

[benrybenrybenrybenrybenrybenry]

wha

[hl1-freeman]

Everyone’s thirsty for my ID nowadays.

[ageblue-aka-varnah-g]

What ID. He's talking he's talking about your PASSPORT mr. Gordon sir!

[hl1-freeman]

Which is a form of ID. What is happening?!

[samus-aran-offical]

Beat them with your crowbar, that is your ID.

[hl1-freeman]

They’ll shave my ponytail but not my beard? Fine fuck you too ig.

[samus-aran-offical]

I think your beard looks nice.

[hl1-freeman]

heh… i guess you could say, this really was a HALF-LIFE

[samus-aran-offical]

Want me to handle them Gordon?

[hl1-freeman]

It’s fine, save your energy.

[samus-aran-offical]

Man 🐴

[hl1-freeman]

heh… i guess you could say, this really was a HALF-LIFE

[samus-aran-offical]

Want me to handle them Gordon?

[samus-aran-offical]

Sigh.... I want to be loud and noisy.

[yippee-bunnies]

is it um true that when the bunny do the the bunny the bun bun does it do the bnuy um please um ears and tail?Does it pleas answrebunuy

Yes, all true

See

[samus-aran-offical]

@doomguy-offical , Ithink you may like this.

[portalpilled]

i relate to barney in the way random people ive never met are calling me gay on the internet

[barney-calhoun-official]

They're doin what about me? Is this why ya told me not to look through your blog?

[hl1-freeman]

They thought I was gay too lol

[hl1-freeman]

Do I have that vibe.

[samus-aran-offical]

Yes, yes you do. I mean that nicely and I too radiate that vibe.

[hl1-freeman]

How do I come off less gay? I don’t want people getting the wrong idea! I don’t swing any way.

[samus-aran-offical]

No idea

[portalpilled]

i relate to barney in the way random people ive never met are calling me gay on the internet

[barney-calhoun-official]

They're doin what about me? Is this why ya told me not to look through your blog?

[hl1-freeman]

They thought I was gay too lol

[hl1-freeman]

Do I have that vibe.

[samus-aran-offical]

Yes, yes you do. I mean that nicely and I too radiate that vibe.

[samus-aran-offical]

"Could I commission for retrieving a device from the planet copper nine, it's known as the patch, it should look like a cross shaped USB stick"

would it be worth it?

Adam refuses to let me go without a proper difficulty diagnosis because of last time.

[solver-offical]

What happened last time?

[samus-aran-offical]

Classified information, he won't let me talk about it either :/