i[ve been trying to resist the urge to say this and then i saw some stupid post about the last look, so very like the one we exchanged when you left today. am i deluded if i say it didn't feel like that's the first time that's happened. i hope i see you tomorrow. i've said it already. i meant it. weekends feel..
yeah. but part of why im saying this is because last time i let my self say anything about you at all, it just hurt to. and now it doesn;t. now i get to smile at you and feel justified in doing so.
and god what relief because i could look at you smiling all day long. i have a nasty habit of taking my actual time around you for granted. it's like everything my brain pep talked me into just gone in a puff of smoke the moment im in the same room as you. im
im not sorry, actually. i've been better. this has been fun. what the hell
i wanted to get to know you better and i did. i got that and so much more than i expected. i also been reading about outcome detachment a lot lately.. maybe sometimes if you catch the fish you throw it back in the water/
maybe sometimes you know you have no choice but to. would he even care anymore? he's the one i was most worried about but what leg(s) are we standing on after ripping my heart open and still being adored. my handiwork too, won't deny. the others.. doubt it'll ever get to that point tbf. it was good seeing you today anyway. as it always is :)
