One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.
And after like three seconds, where weโre all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadnโt ended, and John Mulaney quietly says,ย โHas there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?โ
Heโd taken his suit to the drycleaner, and theyโd wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didnโt notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didnโt notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.
during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she โis aware that she is physically here right nowโ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is theย โand Iโm new in townโ bit and that sheโs seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldnโt get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things heโs said that she heard
When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked,ย โAre you with him? Whatโs his name?โ
She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her dateโs name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said,ย โAt some point during the show, I am going to stop and say,ย โWell, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,โ and then you guys are all going to scream backย โWE LOVE MILKSHAKES!โ Heโll be so confused.โ
He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonaldโs drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said,ย โYou guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdaleโฆโ
Naturally, we erupted withย โWE LOVE MILKSHAKESโ and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said,ย โI bet youโre real confused now, huh, JASON?!โ
ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid
i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied โthatโs where my hips areโ and someone in the back shouted โlook at that high waisted man heโs got feminine hips!โ and he yelled back โthatโs my joke! iโm offended!!โ
I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dogโs name. Upon hearing the dogs name wasย โBlanketโ he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.
This is my favorite version of this thread now
This man is so blessed
