Hi Rachel! What do you see as three personality traits Buffy and Angel both have in common and the personality traits that are most different? Also, please tell us why Angel is more compatible with Buffy than Cordelia - in terms of their personalities, values, how they'd want to spend their free time, etc. not just because as anything more than platonic Cangel really has the most painfully awkward chemistry I've ever seen on TV :)
So, the biggest similarity between Buffy and Angel (at least IMO) is their mutual understanding of what it's like to walk two worlds but not feel like they belong to either. Angel isn't a proper vampire because of the soul, so he doesn't fit with vampires or humans and Buffy's calling makes it so she is partly a supernatural being but also mostly human, so she walks two worlds and tries to balance both. She and Angel recognise this in one another and seek comfort in each other.
They are both lonely people because of this divide. While Buffy has her friends, they can't fully understand her burden and so that sets her apart from them. Angel has lived almost an entire life of solitude and shies away from people, finding it hard to connect. But because they are both lonely souls, this also connects them. They understand the isolation. This is actually one of the first aspects which connects them in The Harvest "Do you know what it's like to have a friend" she's stopped by Angel's response "That wasn't supposed to be a stumper."
Buffy and Angel are both warriors. They are both champions who understand that there is a Bigger Picture and that they sometimes have to sacrifice for that Picture. Ironically, kyrumption, a Cangel-based idea, actually describes Bangel "When two warriors meet on the field of battle and recognize their mutual fate." I mean, that is literally Bangel. Buffy and Angel are both physical fighters but they are also natural leaders who know how to make the hard calls and understand the mission.
Despite her bubbly exterior, Buffy has a deeply introverted side, and she, like Angel, prefers to surround herself with just a select few trusted friends, as opposed to a large social circle. Both Buffy and Angel are fiercely protective of their loved ones and keep the same circle by their sides, preferring long, deep bonds with people to fleeting aquaintences.
Buffy and Angel also really understand one another - they can read each other really well, always know when something is "off" with the other, and they are really only truly vulnerable with one another; this is especially true of Buffy, who tends to keep her deeper fears, regrets and emotions close to the chest, but who always opens up around Angel and find him to be her safe space. Angel really sees thus vulnerability and responds to it in the most gorgeous ways, such as when Buffy talks about ice skating being an escape from reality and Angel immediately invites her on a skating date.
As for Cordy and Angel and them not being compatible ... look, I love Cordy and Angel as friends. In that regard, they are really fun and they strangely work. Cordy and Angel don't really get one another - Angel doesn't understand her blunt, odd ways of doing things and Cordy doesn't understand the deeper pain and isolation that Angel carries with him. Because of this, their friendship plays like an odd-couple dynamic and it's really funny to watch.
But this odd-couple dynamic doesn't translate well to romance and this is one of the reasons that the show drastically changed Cordelia's character, so she would "fit" more into a romantic role for Angel. She's suddenly physically training and being referred to as a "champion". Her sharper edges are filed down so she can be more sympathetic to Angel, instead of just calling him out on his bullshit like a friend would. She becomes understanding and soft and gentle - everything Cordelia Chase isn't.
And I think that the fact that the series had to change Cordy so much, sand down her roughness, remove her bluntness, suddenly have her spouting "deep" and more sympathetic speeches and having her suddenly be this all-understanding, calm, mature character, shows that she didn't work as a romantic partner for Angel. Because if she did, they wouldn't have had to change her character one bit.
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