[narcissistcookbook]

these hips don't lie, and those hips don't tell the truth. how do you navigate out of this labyrinth

[chronicallydragons]

Anyone else with chronic pain ever get really absorbed in a project and dissociate from your body while you're working but then you finish and you come back to your body and you're just like AAAAAAAHHH! WHAT'S WRONG?? oh yeah. The horrors. Never mind

[unalivejournal]

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

[fragiledate]

the strongest bond is probably pad wings to themselves. the weakest is probably pad wings to your underwear

[sigmaleph]

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

[iwas-handpicked]

no babe i find your strange and creepy and perverted vibe to be very cute actually

[ozempicofficial]

[komaedalovemail]

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

[butterfirefly]

for the uninitiated

[spidergirl-fibula]

thin veil today isnt it

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

[battleaxepixie]

[toastyglow]

"it's inscrutable" maybe to you it is. I scrute it all the time

[i-give-you-a-fish]

You get a Milkfish

Chanos chanos

[fish-identifier]

i scrute the milkfish

[voidandchill]

Daniel: I'm seeing someone. Not romantically, just at the foot of my bed when i wake up at night

[lighthouseweeper]

It can be both in their case. Sleep paralysis demon brings you flowers and chocolates

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand

[skyrigel]

[knifelesbianjo]

evil dan and phil

[evilnicegirl]

if i could give advice to me as a teenager i would say be 25