Gwyn Berdara, from day one, was a heroine. Even on the most horrific day of her life, when fear and trauma could have consumed her completely, she still chose to save those children.
That’s who Gwyn is at her core, compassionate, brave, selfless. Not because it was easy, not because she was unafraid, but because even in unimaginable pain, her instinct was still to protect those children first.
Some people survive darkness. Gwyn walked through it and still carried light for someone else.
Not only this sentence is insulting to a character, but insulting to all women who have experienced SA.
If you say that about a fictional character, i don't even want to know what you think about women in real life.
This is sick. This is disgusting.
Do not pronounce the name of any female character ever again. You don't deserve to say anything about them.
Not only does my girl Gwyn deserves better than this shitty part of the fandom, that's constantly portraying her as liar, an evil lightsinger who only lures men with her singing, but nobody, in books and in real life, deserves to be treated like that.
Describing the most traumatic event of a young girl's life, the day she lost her twin sister, the day she lost a part of herself, as "one horrific afternoon" is twisted.
I've never been more shocked since i entered this fandom. Usually what antis say makes me laugh, a little angry sometimes.
as someone new to acotar, I really didn't have a fav ship, but engaging with people here made me pick a side. Elriel are so nasty and mean spirited. They accuse other of the very things they do. Like you are the ones that use Elain as your insert for "dating" Azriel and don't treat her like a person.And now you are so blinded to it, you defend that ship with so much venom and attack everyone else, because truly you feel like it's an attack on your own person, since you self inserted through Elain. I like Elain. I like Azriel as well. I like all characters involved in this. Your hate made me an elucien/gwynriel, and now I love these ships for their own reasons. Eluciens and gwynriels are so sweet and understanding. I don't see them coming over to your side, but you elriels are always on ours. that's very telling...
can't wait for them to find this and start attacking me, that will surely NOT prove my point
Taking a million years to write is a staple of mine atp. Please enjoy. I hope everyone had the best holiday season and a happy new year <3
@autumnbabylon
I forgot to mention that I got the idea for them adopting Shadow from this gorgeous fanart by @/alilyushka on @/amandapearls account.
Summary: Azriel comes back home and Gwyn could not be more happy. Sappiness ensues.
AO3 Link
Early the next morning, a car pulled up in front of the house. Gwyn slowly woke up to the sounds of Nesta greeting Lucien and Elain. She couldn’t pull herself out of bed for another few minutes but forced herself to. She got up to splash water onto her face. It left some of her wet hair sticking to her face. Normally she would put some effort into getting ready, but it was six in the morning on Christmas Eve and she was exhausted. She braided her long red hair neatly, but that was all that she was willing to do.
Nesta and Emerie were busy in the kitchen but everybody else seemed to be asleep. Gwyn waved to everybody, grabbing a mug to make her coffee in. Lucien came up beside her, putting an arm around her.
“Somebody’s in the Christmas spirit,” he quipped ruffling her already messy hair. She playfully punched him in the side as she asked Elain if she wanted some coffee. Elain couldn’t hear her. She was transfixed with decorating the tree. Perfectly. Would things suspiciously fall into place? Gwyn wondered. She didn’t dwell on the question for too long before joining her friends in the kitchen. Despite it not being Christmas yet, Nesta wanted to have an early dinner today and a lunch on Christmas. Gwyn wasn’t one to argue with her now.
Gwyn sat rested against the arm of the couch, stomach stuffed with cookies. She watched her friends enthusiastically playing Super Smash Bros. The sound of a car pulling up could be heard outside. Lucien patted her on the knee. In her food induced daze she met his eyes.
“It sounds like Azriel is here Gwyn,” he whispered. That couldn’t be. It was 4pm, he shouldn't have been home until ten at least. Gwyn shot up and sped towards the window. Sure enough, Rhysand’s rental was parked in front of their house and a tall dark figure exited.
“It’s him!” she cried like a child that had just seen Santa. She opened the door, not bothering to change into her outside shoes. Her loafers would be soaked but she couldn’t care any less.
He was bundled up in a thick coat, blue beanie and a scarf and gloves. He had traded the tropical heat of the DRC for the sub-zero Canadian winter, and he didn’t seem to like it. Azriel’s focus was squarely on his luggage, which was much heavier than when he left. Rhys’ eyes flashed over to her and he mentioned something to Azriel before waving. Azriel turned with eyes that lit up brighter than the stars. He abandoned his bags, leaving them to Rhys. Neither Gwyneth, nor Azriel had enough restraint to keep a slow pace. They ran to each other, meeting just at the old mailbox that they never used. He lifted her into his arms and she clung to him like he would disappear if she let go.
“Gwyn,” was all that he could manage to say before pulling back to look her in her big aqua eyes, now brimming with tears.
“Don’t go away for that long again,” she said half-joking. His small laugh rumbled through his chest, and she wanted to bathe in that familiar feeling.
“I’ll figure out how to take you with me next time.”
“Emotional support person!” She chimed. He smiled down at her, noticing the redness that now played itself across her nose. He carried her inside, where he would’ve dropped her, had she not been hanging onto him as tightly as she was. His face was half shock and half smile.
“No way.” He waved to everybody with his free hand. “I thought it was just Rhys and Feyre here.”
“Surprise!” She kissed him on the nose.
Cassian got up to give his brother a hug, but Gwyn refused to move, and she ended up being squished between them. She had earned her clinginess for today, but Azriel dropped her off onto the sofa.
“Your shoes, Gwynnie.” He crouched down to pull the damp shoes from her feet. “Your toes are gonna turn blue.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Gwyn could see Emerie and Nesta look at each other. No doubt with expressions of feigned disgust at their affection. When he was done, he went to fetch the rest of his bags. Feyre volunteered to help, and Lucien followed, talking to her animatedly on their way out. A few minutes later everything was at the front door. Rhys had to fill his tank and would be back soon.
Azriel hugged everybody before he settled into a spot beside Gwyn and held her hand in his lap while Elain excitedly grabbed at the pile of presents, eagerly reading the names on each parcel and passing it to the right person. Gwyn watched Azriel open his present from her. The best watch that she could get on her salary.
“Waterproof, so you don’t wreck another one.”
He smiled at her. He’d mentioned that he’d broken his watch a few weeks ago and Gwyn thought that it would be perfect. She wasn’t the best gift giver, but he seemed happy and began to cuff it around his wrist immediately.
The rest of the room was abuzz with excitement. Elain and Lucien were laughing together while Cassian was trying to tell them a story. Suddenly, she felt stupid for thinking that her friends wouldn’t come through for her. They always had.
A knock at the door interrupted dinner. Nesta opened the front door to reveal Rhysand holding a shoebox sized present. There was no wrapping paper, instead a pretty red bow sat on top of the white cardboard lid. Gwyn wondered what Feyre was getting. Knowing Rhys, it would be something overwhelmingly expensive. Surprisingly, he placed the box in front of Gwyn.
“Your boyfriend must love you very much,” he said, with a small smile playing on his lips.
Gwyn turned to Azriel. “From you?”
He nodded, putting a hand over the box. “Go ahead, open it,” he prompted, watching her intensely. Gwyn slowly lifted the cover to reveal two innocent green eyes looking up at her. A kitten, barely bigger than Azriel’s hand, clamoured to get out and onto Gwyn’s lap. Gwyn held the creature up, level with her face. The cat barely moved, letting out a soft meow. She cuddled the little black cat at her chest, and it buried itself into her sweater looking for warmth. A fluffy black bundle covered in wool.
“It’s mine?” she asked in disbelief. She had always wanted a cat, but their last apartment didn’t allow pets.
“He is all yours.” Rhysand held his hand out to the animal, now comfortably blanketed by Gwyn’s long aubern hair. His cold nose touched Rhys’ finger and he chuckled at the sensation.
The rest of the table watched her hold her new pet lovingly, each with expressions of adoration and awe at the family’s new addition. The kitten yawned and Elain and Emerie cooed in unison.
“Az,” Gwyn whispered, astounded. She felt her eyes get heavy with tears but blinked them away, saving them for later. “He’s perfect, I couldn’t think of anything better.”
She was excited to watch him grow from this pint-sized ball of fluff into a cat that would undoubtedly be her best friend, based on how sweet he already was. She was so enamoured with her kitten that she didn’t notice Lucien crouched beside her, rubbing the cat’s cheek with the back of his index finger.
“What are you naming him Gwynnie?” Azriel asked, scratching the cat behind his oversized ears.
She thought about his fluffy coat. The shiny black that seemed like liquid night. The way he curled himself away and into the dark safety of her hair.
“Shadow,” she announced, “he’s my little Shadow.”
She leaned over to kiss Azriel properly for the first time in months and pulled back, dizzy with delight.
It was eight when Azriel made Gwyn take him to the popup ice rink near the university. Predictably, nobody wanted to go out into the cold, but Emerie flashed a goofy smile as an apology. The rink wasn’t far. A five-minute drive. She was reluctant, unsure if they would even be open on Christmas Eve but surely enough there were a few families and couples there, skating around.
“We don’t even have ice skates,” Gwyn chuckled, “are we just coming to people watch?”
“It’s nice,” he spoke, “To be in a familiar place with you. I missed this.” Gwyn looked up at him. This place was more than familiar. They only had one car so on especially cold days, Az would wait for Gwyn here to take her home. On warmer days when the snow fell lightly, they'd take walks which led to many unfortunate falls in the snow for both of them. She smiled.
“I missed this too.”
He pulled her close to him and kissed her. A delicate kiss with an undercurrent of intensity that told her that he was holding himself back. He had her flush against his warm body and she held on tightly. Through her eyelids, she could see the change in the light. Green, white and red flashed in sequence around them. She held his face as she turned to look. The decorative lights.
“The lights turn on around this time,” he explained,” It’s only like this for half an hour so I had to bring you now.”
She glanced up at him, seeing the world in his beautiful eyes.
“I haven’t given you your gift yet,” he grinned.
“Shadow isn’t my gift?”
He stroked her cheek with his left hand, while he fished around in his deep pocket for a surprisingly large, wrapped box.
“Let’s not pretend that Shadow isn’t a gift for me too.”
She took the box he held out to her and exercised as much self-control as she could to keep from ripping it open. Inside was another cardboard box, and another in that. When she got to the second smallest box, she found a note that had been folded into practically nothing.
Gwyn, I’ve missed you more than you could ever realise. A month felt like a year. I didn’t know our attachment was so strong until we were apart. Everything reminded me of you: the plants, the sunset, the birds that sing like you do. I waited until I could call and seeing you made me want to make me come back. I’ve never met anybody that puts my anxiety at ease like you, that makes me laugh like you. Together, I think we can do anything, and I don’t want anybody else at my side.
Gwyn gasped as she read the final words.
Will you make me the happiest man in this world and the next and be my forever?
He produced a black velvet box from his pocket and got down on one knee, unbothered by the thin spread of ice on the ground. Inside the box was a golden ring that was shaped to look like a vine with aquamarine and gold leaves.
“Gwyneth Berdara, will you marry me and be my forever?”
Gwyn was nonverbal, making sounds of shock and delight. Tears heated her cold cheeks as she nodded.
Nesta is so much better than me because I would hold a grudge against my sisters and the IC for not coming to rescue me and my besties when we were KIDNAPPED AND FORCED to participate in the BR.
Feyre was rescued when she had her panick attack in the spring court.
Elain was rescued when she was kidnapped by Hybern.
But Nesta… no she had to save herself. Feyre was more concerned about Eris (someone she hates btw) than her own sister.
I’d hold such a freaking grudge especially knowing that I not only survived, I killed Briallyn, got the crown, saved the day and made a bargain with the cauldron.
“Nesta needed tough love” and yet her subconscious created the house of wind aka the only person who babies her with kindness and gentleness. So you can’t truthfully say that she needed the tough love the IC gave her. The house’s personality CAME FROM NESTA. Amren literally says it during starfall. Nesta wanted a friend, so she made one. But she also craved gentle love, which she had to create in order to receive it.
“As an eldest sister, I would never excuse Nesta.”
As an eldest sister and a parent, I would never expect a child to replace the responsibilities of a parent and blame them when they fail to step up to the impossible task.