saturn/crow

they/he // australian // sick of americans

[satvrn046]

gona be real, ive started scrolling past posts that are american politics and policies because im just so sick to death of only hearing about and people caring about the state of us america. yes it sucks, yes i feel bad for those who live there and have to figure out how to live but i’ve simply stopped giving a gaf. the fact that it’s all i see is 100% a product of me following primarily us americans but even still, it would be nice to see literally anything else

[airinyourtires]

If you’re pining you need to stop and pick a different tree. You know, spruce it up a little

[airinyourtires]

I’m still proud of this post. It’s evergreen

[serenadeformice-deactivated2025]

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

[useful-boy]

Been sick for over a week and these tags sent me into several coughing fits from laughing. I love it here I could never truly leave

[freshcupofangst]

istg the phandom is unhinged like no fandom I've been in before I feel like I could say "hmmm I wonder how many times dan and phil have each respectively blinked on camera since the start of their careers" and within an hour of me posting it someone would be like "oh actually phanniephreak1 has been keeping count since 2015, here's the link to it" and the information will be perfectly fucking accurate

[chani]

And you picked that example because it's a real thing right?

[freshcupofangst]

oh my fucking god.

[beradan]

I swear I am going to start a seminar in How to Exist in Public. We do not block our coworker from getting their food out of one microwave while waiting for our food in the other microwave. We do not walk four carts abreast through the grocery store, nor do we park our cart next to an end cap and wander off to another aisle. We do not start making a left turn we will not be able to complete, thereby bringing the entire intersection to a screeching halt. We do not stop dead in the middle of the hallway to answer a text. We live in a society.

[sergle]

u good?

girl obviously not

[redstonedust]

no more automatic updates for videogames if i wanna play with my perfectly curated modlist for patch 1.24358359b you WILL let me. i dont care if im missing important bugfixes. this is my house i live here.

[sergeantsporks]

"Aro/Ace person gets given a love potion" story but instead of them being immune or whatever, it DOES work, and they realize IMMEDIATELY that they've been fed a love potion because this feeling is so wrong and foreign but everyone keeps laughing off the idea of it being a love potion because "they were probably just a late bloomer" or "no, you just finally found the right person!" and it's just a horror story about how no one believes them even though they know, they KNOW this isn't right and they can't stand it.

[moonrizerr-deactivated20220906]

Gay flag but it’s colorpicked from footage of Björk beating up a journalist that’s been following her for 4 days during her arrival in Bangkok, 1996

[lionevlmessi]

i know some footballers that if this were to happen to them it would legit send them into psychosis

[bloodykittypaws]

[las-lus]

Watching the new Folding Ideas video and I can't stop thinking that Mr Beast is unsatisfied because he doesn't have a fandom. He is dying to understand where to throw money to make fandom happen. It gives me great pleasure to know that we hold the power to keep mr. Beast miserable

[robotlyra]

When Dan Olson said that Mr Beast's people asked him and a bunch of other youtubers "How do you create fandom", I experienced a moment of terror so visceral that my heart jumped into my throat. But luckily what followed was a thorough reassurance that he would never be able to understand the answer to that question.

The reason WHY Team Beast wants to "create fandom" is because they have an awareness that fandom is something that makes Number Go Up, and they want to have access that sort of loyalty and attention. But fandom isn't really something you create intentionally, it's more of a natural side effect of caring about something a lot, and going about the business of expressing how much you care, and finding community that cares in a similar way. But Mr Beast and his team do not actually care about anything at all, except Number Go Up. Everything Team Beast does is just a random exercise in throwing money at different ideas to see which makes Number Increase More.

Team Beast made chocolate bars because they know their audience of kids likes and buys candy, not because they liked candy or were interested in the process of making good candy. This is how they ended up making a chocolate bar that lacked the pre-sectioned bar shape that any other reputable candy maker has known and utilized for decades.

Team Beast made a reality show, because they know that reality shows are popular, and that Squid Game was a massive cross-cultural phenomenon, not because they care about reality shows, or are interested in telling stories about the limits of human cooperation and integrity in high stress, high rewards situations. This is how they ended up making a reality show with too many people to focus on any sort of interesting individual narratives, filled with elimination challenges that didn't work.

Team Beast is basically going down a checklist of "what activities that have the highest profits/highest level of public awareness associated with them" because they want that Simple Numerical Supremacy that comes from them, not because they care about the actual activities themselves. This also explains why Dan Olson was invited to Team Beast's studios to begin with. They probably only have a vague awareness of him as a guy on youtube with a million subscribers, and a 2 hour documentary about NFTs that is apocryphally regarded as the Film That Ended The Business. They don't actually care about what he or other youtubers consider important. They just want their fandoms.

[werewolfoffeverswamp]

my sister and her husband go see new movies a lot and a place near the theater they go to does $5 margaritas on monday so they’ve started doing marg movie mondays where they go see a movie and get a marg but they call the margaritas different things based on what they’re seeing. as far as naming goes “wuthering margs” was a little bit of a miss for me but it was preceded by “margipliers” when we saw iron lung so thats kind of a lot to live up to

[soshinee]

“whoa” and “woah” is the same but also they are very different… only a select few are capable of understanding this nuanced topic….

[bladeweave]

"they should be in a healthy relationship with good communication" they should be obsessive freaks who stalk each other and have zero boundaries

[7dmom]

I am so sorry you had a traumatic childhood and it made you stupid on line. I was raised as a lotus flower and I smell like vanilla all the time

[7dmom]

I put your name on a beetle and let it die of thirst

[theaterard]

do you think they say shit like this to each other. “i considered myself to be more of a girl” “in a past life i was male.” and then just stare at each other like 🥰😻🙂.

[theaterard]

ok.