Holidays with the Avengers
Note’s: I’ll add more characters later but we’re finally eating. Also not edited because we’re drunk.
Ah yes, the cocky billionaire with a complex. He is confident and sarcastic on the outside but the thought of meeting your mother make him want to piss himself. He charms your mother with his gifts and whit but your father wants to light him on fire. The “how did you meet” questions are mostly avoided by making your aunt to drunk to talk. Tony and you leave the gathering early in leu of sex at the pent house. Let’s be honest you could both due with the stress relief.
However if you don’t like your family: maybe they’re assholes, maybe they’re homophobes, oppressively religious, or some assortment of cantankerous and unsavory individuals. Tony will spend his whole night offending them. You’ll likely leave early with a host of family members so mad they could burn through metal with a glance. Thankfully you are returning to your pent house to have sex with your billionaire boyfriend.
He is a dream come true. The perfect house guest if you stay the night. He uses all the manners and social normative that make your boomer generation family members cum in their pants. It’s an overall pleasant evening where you leave late at night pressing grateful kisses to his cheek for his winning personality.
If your family is filled with douche bags. Steve’s real up front about it. Don’t go. He’s all about family but given that he made his own from the cobbled remains of the Avengers. He is not about wasting time with someone who has no loyalty to you. Enjoy your super powered Thanksgiving at the compound.
She is the hostess with mostest. Whether you love your family or hate them with a fiery passion they’re coming to her territory. She will entertain them, dazzling and sparkling with her beauty and whit. At the end of the night they leave on her terms.
Whether it’s a body bag or a complimentary taxi she ends it. At the end of it all you cuddle up on the couch her heels on the floor and enjoy each other. At the end of the day. She doesn’t care about them. It’s you she fights and dies for daily.
He is the epitome of quiet and reserved. He doesn’t say much to anyone nor does he leave much of an impression. unless they make him angry. If one family member makes one toe out of line around you. Consider hulk a guest at the dinner table. The end of the night is either demure and calm or they’re cleaning your trash talking uncle off the lawn. There’s no in-between.
Thor is a Prince and almost King of Asgard the man can handle pretty much any family situation with dignity and booze. He can bro around with your uncles or assist your aunties in the kitchen by carrying the heavy main course to the table.
All the while he keeps an eye on you. If you start to seem uncomfortable he’ll be right there a bulging bicep wrapped around your shoulder. If you want to say thank you at the end of the night for his charming personality. He won’t say no.
If you’re family is truly heinous. He’ll lift you into his arms and carry you away. No other word’s. You’ll spend the evening on Asgard new or old enjoying each others company over dessert.
Oh the things this man would do a t family gathering. He could be the most charming guest but the moment he suspects fowl play….all bets are off. Your homophobic Nana’s wig goes missing. Loki. The white supremist uncle makes an offhanded remark that makes your stomach curl. His truck is suddenly filled with snakes and coca cola in the gas tank.
Chaos. That’s what Loki excels at on the holidays.
