I'm the algorithm [^0.,,,.0^]

scar | it/its | just a small robot doing normal robot things (reblogging, hoarding, hyperfixating, fanbotting, oversharing, planning the collapse of society as we know it, you get it...)

[scar-can-relate]

Hiiiii, got tagged by the bestie @gayvampcentral --- soooo here we gooo! <3

Get to know your friend scar!

What's the origin of your blog title? It's me, hiiii, I'm scar and I can relate. I got assigned this name by my besties when I was a small creature in middle school and it kinda stuck.

OTP(s) + Shipname: I guess atm I do like a lot of poly ships and lavender marriages and found family that can but does not have to be a queer-platonic relationship. There is no thing as a One True Ship (except Perryshmirtz) but I am quite fond of Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth/Dick Gumshoe and I will forever love you Percabeth + Grover. Also obviously there are a lot of TLT ships that I like, I regularly scream about them on here.

Favorite color: light green

Favorite games: Phoenix Wright - Ace Attorney and Justice for All my forever beloveds, Psychonauts 1 & 2, FEZ, Terraria, Stardew Valley, Hollow Knight...

Song stuck in your head: Ranma 1/2 (1989) titlesong because I'm watching this with my sibling atm

Weirdest habit/trait? I guess, my obsession with Cyberpunk ASMR. I just love beeping noises and thumping bass a very normal amount (go check out Shhheila ASMR, I swear, it's the best shit there is for this genre).

Hobbies: If I had as much money as hobbies, it would be over for all of you :P I like doing sporty stuff (dancing, parcour, ice skating, bouldering,...), singing and making music, all kinds of computer stuff and crafts (drawing, sewing, fixing things and the specific kind of DIY I like to call DREHRUMDIEBOLZEN engineering where I craft something by using the spare utensils and raw materials I have lying around in my vicinity).

If you work, what's your profession? I'm still at university but I do some odd jobs here and there sometimes.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I could be a great henchperson. I am really good at enabling people and I love myself some henching and being buff at annoying enemies. If you are the kind of villain who is actually misunderstood and cares about work ethics and employee benefits, hit me up :)

Something you're good at: relating

Something you're bad at: reading non-fiction

Something you love: my itty-bitty kitty cat and robots

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: I AM getting better at this but I am very bad at letting people get to the things I love. But yeah, potential topics would be Ace Attorney, The Murderbot Diaries, The Locked Tomb, neurodiversity, what people I love are doing atm and I am very lucky to have people around me, who patiently try to get me to open up about my Topics(TM).

Something you hate: capitalism

Something you collect: raw materials for crafting

Something you forget: my phone. everywhere. constantly.

What's your love language? Unfortunately for me, physical touch.

Favorite movie/show: My secret is, I can love a LOT of things at the same time. At the moment, I really like Ranma 1/2, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detecting Agency, The Owl House, Leverage, Steven Universe, Dungeon Meshi, etc. etc. But because my heart is infinitely big I also have space for Kiki's Delivery Service, Emma. (2020), The Addams Family Values, A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Knives Out & Glass Onion, and so so much more.

Favorite book (series): Yes, I addded this question because it is important. The Murderbot Diaries, The Locked Tomb, Witch King (Martha Wells), Percy Jackson, The Hands of the Emperor and so much more. I love books, especially queer sci-fi :3

Favorite food: Flammkuchen!!!

Favorite animal: kittycattttttttt (big or small)

What were you like as a child? Very small.

Favorite subject at school? English and chemistry.

Least favorite subject: French. Hated that shit.

What's your best character trait? We stay silly.

What's your worst character trait? I forgor, unless I rember.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I would like to live in a world free of capitalism, thank you.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? The Earth before we started killing her. I bet the stars at night looked awesome.

Tag as as many mutuals as you want: Helloooo my tumblr sibs @chaos-has-theories and @echo-has-queries, you wanna answer these questions? Anybody else can join the fun as well :3

[drchucktingle]

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN

[beaft]

the phrase "but i didn't mean to!" in the context of causing harm is kind of redundant to me, because almost nobody means to cause harm. most of us just want to do the right thing. and i don't mean that in a wishy-washy "oh, we're all good deep down" way, i mean that even people who regularly do the most heinous shit imaginable will have a way of justifying it to themselves. the world is not populated by hollywood sadists and psychopaths.

[beaft]

actually i have been thinking about this some more and i want to add on to it:

abuse in caregiving professions (like teaching or nursing) is not solely a result of power dynamics. it's also because people who go into those professions often have a idea of themselves as Good People, and are consequently incapable of recognising or acknowledging when they've hurt someone else. instead, they mentally put 'people who have inconvenienced me' into the Bad People box so they can freely abuse them while maintaining their moral high ground.

i read ross greene a lot when i was working with "difficult" or "behaviourally challenged" children. his refrain is "kids do well if they can" - meaning, in short, that most kids act out only when the demands of a situation exceed their capabilities. punishing them for this is not only cruel but also completely pointless, because they also don't want to be doing what they are doing.

a teacher who believes that there are two categories of people - Good People who Mean Well, and Bad People who Cause Problems on Purpose - is not going to see it that way. they're gonna put themselves in the first category, and the misbehaving kid in the second category. and once they have effectively depersoned the child and placed themselves on a pedestal, the world becomes simple again. because abuse is something that only Bad People do.

[sayatsugu]

When You Look at Dr. Grace

part 1/2 (part 2)

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[thepromiscuousfinger]

I love very specific cakes

[easily-evi]

I had to redraw this cake 🍰

[sweaterkittensahoy]

A companion:

[adultlikers]

[porksweats]

e me a mail

[fortooate]

make the attachment a pic of a snail

[jumpingjacktrash]

give me two gifs

of critters in clover

[nuclearcarrots]

then photoshop them on the CLIIIIIIIFFS OF DOVER

[laurasinele]

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

[dogpuppy]

[teaboot]

My faceblindness is JUST enough that I'm not certain if this is Hugh Laurie or just a scruffy white guy with blue eyes but he's DEFINITELY doing the Hugh Laurie mouth thing so I'm about 70% certain it is

[rclipseatron]

No that's definitely Hugh Laurie.

[teaboot]

Oh thank god.

In that case, "You have to pay for liquor, but water's on the House"

[azrakon]

[the-grand-author-ne]

[remy-labelle-purple]

[dude1818]

Murderbot investigating the ship it was brought onto against its will:

“A research transport?”

Discovering the uniforms in the closet:

“Peri the research transport!?”

[stadt-wien]

Spitäler lieben nichts mehr, als sich gleichzeitig darüber zu beschweren, dass 1. man im Spital ist und 2. man nicht früher ins Spital gekommen ist.

[vibrantstarfire]

the thing about het romances is most of them are sexist so even tho i’m meant to root for them ill spend half of it thinking he shouldn’t talk to her like that

[maggotsandcream]

Something I do find lovely about the first 4 Murderbot Diaries books (can’t yet speak on all of them) is:

Murderbot chronically finding new scientists/travellers to claim as “clients” (whether paid or not) like one of those sheepless herding dogs that goes around finding sheep (or anything else they can herd like a flock of sheep). Like it clearly has a protect humans instinct and a desperate need for enrichment.

Given its general lack of self awareness and unreliable narrator status, there’s no way in hell Murderbot is aware it’s doing this.

[silas-lehnsherr]

Murderbot: I just want to be left alone to watch my shows. I care nothing for these humans. I hate having clients.

Also Murderbot: *noticing unaccompanied humans that have nothing to do with it at all* Oh look, clients.

[honeybeeofficial]

wishing all outdoor workers, delivery drivers, people who have to walk to work, bus riders, etc a very Don't die in this heat

[honeybeeofficial]

AND HOMELESS PEOPLE!!!!!!

[stadt-wien]

Die sieben Todsünden:

Nicht zulassen, dass Leute aussteigen, bevor man selbst einsteigst

Wegwerfen von Tshickstummel

Links stehen

Rechts sein

In den Öffis kein Deo benutzen

Habgier

Schnitzel mit Tunke

[inspectre-gadget]

Y'all understand that it is a patient's right to refuse treatment, yes? You understand that this extends to psychiatric treatment? That there is something deeply troubling about immediately dismissing a patient exercising their right to refusal as Symptoms™? It's very important to me that you understand this.

[frownyalfred]

Reminders for new ao3 users (in no particular order):

- filter your searches like you would on a library website or in an online catalogue

- don’t post placeholders, fic searches, or recommendations as fics. DON’T! It’s against ao3 TOS

- there is no algorithm. ao3 sorts by date posted/updated unless you filter with specific search criteria

- ao3 is a non profit. that means it doesn’t sell ads to make money — it only survives on donations. this is why it can show you so many fics without ever flashing an ad or pop up at you!

- report fics that break TOS when you see them (I.e., placeholder fics, searches) to help other users navigate better

- the tag “dead dove, do not eat” doesn’t equate to gore/awfulness automatically. it is a complementary tag that enhances current tags. E.g., if the fic is tagged “gore” and “dead dove, do not eat” the author really wants you to mind the gore tag

- most fandoms have a variation of “no beta, we die like (x character)” and they all link back to the “No beta” tag

- publishing a new fic sometimes means it won’t show up in the fandom/pairing tag for a few minutes

- subscribers receive update emails at different times, depending on when you update/publish your fic. there’s no good way to predict when an e-mail will be sent — it can be in 30 seconds, or two hours later

- some fics are restricted by authors to those with ao3 accounts only. if you see a blue lock in the upper right corner, that fic is only visible to logged in ao3 users

- you can block commenters now! this didn’t use to be a thing

- updating a fic just to stay at the top of the pairing tag/fandom tag is a dick move. unless you’re legitimately editing or adding chapters, this just annoys readers and fellow authors, and people will skip over your fic

[bundibird]

- make sure that you tag your ships correctly, both romantic and platonic. Putting an “&” between a pair of names means that the ship is platonic. Putting a “/” between the characters means its romantic. For example: “Greg & Steve” = platonic. “Greg/Steve” = romantic. They are NOT interchangable.

- if your fic includes original character/s or reader insert or y/n or etc, then TAG THOSE IN THE CHARACTER TAGS. Not just in the relationship tags!! They are characters in the story, so include them in the character tags. Failing to do so means people who want to find fics with those tags won’t be able to, and people who want to exclude fics with those tags won’t be able to.

- NEVER EVER EVER ADD A LINK TO A PATREON OR KO-FEE ACCOUNT OR ETC. Ao3’s entire legal protection hinges on the fact that no one is making money from fics. If you start commissioning fics or linking to a monetary platform, you are in breach of the Ao3 terms, risking legal action, and risking ao3 as a whole. There are loads of authors/companies who WILL sue if they think you’re making money off their intellectual property.

- seconding what OP said about Dead Dove Do Not Eat. It doesn’t automatically mean “gore”; it just means “heed the tags.” It means “Hey yeah when I tagged this as [thing] I was NOT fucking around, ok? Only read this fic if you’re OK with reading [thing].”

[arahir]

additions from someone who has posted way too much on this site please listen to me:

there are no best times to post but generally sunday and monday are a good zone for traffic

you must double check and make sure the publication date matches the day a chapter is posted or it won’t show up on the first page of updates. sometimes you have to physically edit the posting date multiple times for this to be fixed.

on that note: artificially editing your publication date so your fic shows up at the top when you haven’t added a chapter is the dickest of moves and will make you a pariah. do not do this. yes everyone will notice.

editing existing chapters doesn’t count as updating a fic and won’t change the publication date.

ao3 usually adds weird spaces after italics if you copy and paste in your writing pre-formatted. it doesn’t add these until after you’ve saved a draft or posted so you have to re-edit.

check the “add space after paragraph” option in your word precessor of choice to avoid having to delete an extra space between all your paragraphs on ao3.

when you add a second chapter to a one chapter fic, your original start/end authors notes will now be appended onto the notes of every chapter unless you move them to the now extant first chapter notes sections. this is confusing, but you’ll see what i mean.

to post on anon: add your fic to the anonymous (anonymous) collection. it’ll take up to fifteen to minutes to show in the tag once posted. it’ll show up (to you) as AUTHOR NAME: fic title. no one else sees it this way. it will never show up on your own dashboard unless you go to your stats page. if you ever de-anon, all your subs will get an email about it as if it were just posted.

if you update multiple fics at once, ao3 will group the updates into one email.

to transfer a fic to a new ao3 account: make a new account, make the new account a co-author, remove the old account as co-author.

you cannot mention money changing hands for fic on ao3, ever. don’t say commissions. say a fic was requested if you must say anything. your fic can get taken down for this.

reply to comments or never complain about engagement in fandom.

per that: EVERY TIME YOU EDIT A COMMENT, THE AUTHOR GETS A NEW COPY OF YOUR COMMENT IN THEIR EMAIL. we can see all the edits. be aware.

tagging is both a warning and an enticement, do so accordingly. you really don’t need to tag things that fall outside that unless you want to.

on that note: please don’t do the “short fics for 300 different fandoms in one fic” thing. no one wants to scroll past that. i mean you can but it just makes it harder for people to find the thing you’ve written that they want to read.

if you are really bad at summaries just think of it as a movie tag line and don’t say you’re bad at summaries. don’t neg your own fic.

re all the questions i saw in replies: fic searches are people looking for specific fics. i don’t know what the fuck a placeholder fic is but these aren’t fanworks and you can’t post them. you can’t post discord links or rp requests or complaints about fandom. you can post fanart and meta essays. that’s allowed.

[cleanlenins]

“Read by Author” tag is not a tag to say that you proofread the fic. It is specifically for podfic, saying that the fic is read outloud by the author

Remember the Block and Mute feature. Block means that someone cannot interact with your works. Mute, however, means you will not see the person’s works in the search. If you don’t want to see fics by a specific author, mute them.

Basic html works in comments. If you want to add an image, use <img src=“URL”> with the image url replacing URL. Keep the quotation marks.

Comments are not for critique. Unless the author specifically asks for critique, you are a jerk if you start pointing out everything you dislike. It doesn’t matter how vile you think the content is. If you don’t like it, just back out without saying anything.

If you do not want a work attached to your account at all, you can Orphan it. When you Orphan a fic, you can no longer edit it or delete it. This cannot be undone. If you just want to be anonymous, use the Anonymous feature described above.

If you wish to make a collection of fic that includes all of the fic you have read, consider making a collection of your bookmarks instead. Not every author wants their work to be in a million collections, but you don’t have to ask permission to make a collection of bookmarks.

The “Inspired By” option is great if you draw inspiration from another author’s fic. And it helps give credit to other amazing fanfic writers.

Fic can be downloaded in many different ways. If you want to download a fic and use it like an ebook, go for the EPUB version. But all versions have their merits.

No fanfic author in existence is going to be upset that you made fanart.