Insert Catchy Title Here

This blog is a time capsule from before I knew what a piece of shit J.K. Rowling is. You'll still find me on most other social media platforms with the same username.

[the6thsiren-deactivated20210702]

what a breakthrough

[dynastylnoire]

Wind is windy as hell

[mrclussy]

In case u didn’t see these gems on buzzfeed

[celestialchimchim-blog]

“If we were meant to be, we would have been by now.”

-Billie Eilish

[divinebeauties]

Trà My as Johannes Vermeer’s The Girl with a Pearl Earring reimagined by Dzũng Yoko for ELLE Vietnam August 2018.

[georgiansuggestion]

take your carriage very slowly by your rival’s home, that she might see your latest hat

[peaceofseoul]

When in doubt, go to the library!

[moonysfrexckles]

This is STUNNING

[mtfautoandrophile]

i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes

[mtfautoandrophile]

the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate

[teaboot]

One time at dance some rando grabbed me by the waist and told me to dance with him and I told him “if you don’t let go I’m going to bite you” and he didn’t let go so I bit him and that really should be the end of the story but he thought that was funny so I turned around and gave him a donkey kick to the shins and took about a 4 inch strip of skin with me so what I learned that day is when one is without debilitating venom, one must be as a horse do

[simonalkenmayer]

“be as a horse do” is my new favorite colloquialism.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[glorious-draenei-eyes]

all of these are gold

[alexthetuna]

oh my god

[tricksythieves]

Dunno if bobbing the teabag actually helps the tea steep faster but it sure is fun to feel a part of something

[vladtheunfollower]

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

hes eating your power bills

[katculator]

um, why didn’t you give him a treat?? he delivered your message!

[fancynewaddress]

LET HIM IN.

[twiggymcbones]

Aquaman, protector of the seven seas!

[hippanthropy]

[nvclearbomb]

This is fucking me up right now

[armedandgayngerous]

POWER MOVE

[therevenantrising-deactivated20]

I am not emotionally involved in this situation.

Using this.

[diachronism-deactivated20190330]

i hate this fucking myth that going through a trauma makes you a better human being???? like i told a friend about how i was abused as kid and she was like ‘well yeah but didnt that make you be a kinder person?’ like no???? it fucked me up thats what it did??? stop fucking romanticizing this shit or im coming for your ass?????

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever

[elsiesnuffin]

I’ve spent some time wondering at Dumbeldore’s rational for hiring Gilderoy Lockhart and I’ve reached the following conclusion.

When Dumbledore met Lockhart, all he thought was “Oh, this is going to be hilarious.”

[angusburnsides-deactivated20230]

I always got the vibe that Dumbledore was like, “there is no possible way for this man to be a Death Eater,” and hired him on the spot.

[alkatyn]

I like the idea of Dumbledore overcorrecting all the time. First professor was a death eater? Lets get one who definitely isn’t. That one was an egoistical jerkface? I’ll hire literally the most humble and unassuming human on Earth. Lupin got kicked out by a bunch of parents? Lets go for a man who is incapable of taking any shit from anyone…. etc.

[sourcefieldmix-deactivated20161]

good idea: marry a blacksmith so you can get free swords whenever 

[steelplatedhearts]

[omgweatherunderground]

Better idea; become a miner and then marry a blacksmith so he can have the required materials for you to get free swords whenever. 

[ranma-official]

Make a harem and marry a full production chain

[sunspotpony]

Monopolygamy.

[dangerousnotbroken]

I mean, if your harem is full of blacksmiths would that make it a polyhammerous relationship?

[saltwasteland]

You could make a whole polyarmory

[marveladdicts]