God had to nerf me because I was too OP @sceneenvy-blog - Tumblr Blog

consultingfujoshi

is Andrew Garfield actually gay or is he just like really really extra about his allyship

consultingfujoshi

mr garfield what the fuck does this mean

accidentally-stealing-names-dea

Garfield’s straight until he’s horny

closetedguyy

Can you not just say Garfield please

prjctdiva

ngl tho, it’s always entertaining when some big shit happens on this website and everyone is suddenly involved in discourse. and since it’s tumblr, it usually turns out that the person at the center of the whole thing is actually way more of a creep then first expected

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

it’s gonna be the opposite with me. people are about to discover just how nice and wholesome i actually am. the antis bashing on me are going to be trapped in a flood of my gooey pink wholesomeness. i’m gonna slap em in the face with my kindness. i’m gonna melt you people’s hearts. i’m preparing a swarm :)

prjctdiva

bigstupiduglyogre

apeeled

i love it when things stop bothering you. like two months ago i was totally bitter about so many things and now im like “u know what i don’t even care” & that’s a beautiful feeling

glumshoe

Sometimes I feel like I wandered into a sitcom with a laugh track plays at random, inscrutable times. Or maybe an alien that studied humanity and has a 95% understanding of Earth culture but that remaining 5% is enough to get them in trouble.

Last week I ordered a sandwich. The jovial man at the deli asked if I’d like a pickle with that. Attempting to match his casual, lighthearted demeanor, I said, “Yeah, sure. It’s a pickle kind of day.” He laughed. He kept laughing.

“Is it?” he wheezed.

“Yes,” I said, and attempted to mask my bewilderment at his amusement with another joke. “I woke up this morning and had a prophetic vision: before me sat my lunch, and with it was a deli pickle. It was fate.”

He laughed again and called his coworkers over to tell them that I had just said “it’s a pickle kind of day”. I shrugged it off and ate my lunch.

I just ordered another sandwich and as soon as he saw me approach, he waved a new woman over and said, “This is the pickle kid.” She looked at me and laughed.

“Repeat what you said about the pickle,” she said.

“No!” said the deli guy. “No no no no, don’t you repeat that out loud. Oh my god.”

“I have no idea what I said that was so funny,” I said.

“Sure you do,” he said. “Don’t play. You ‘don’t remember’ what you said about the pickle?”

“What, about the prophet vision, or about it being ‘a pickle kind of day’?”

They both doubled over and howled with laughter, staring at me incredulously. I felt lost. Have I somehow violated some bizarre cultural expectation? Some taboo? Am I invoking a meme I’ve never heard about? He acted like ‘a pickle sort of day’ was the most outrageous string of words he’d ever heard spoken aloud and spent a week telling his coworkers about me.

glumshoe

As I am a sapient living creature capable of imposing my will upon the universe through action, I have decided to have my revenge upon the deli man. I will conspire with my coworkers to make sure that all of us tell him “it’s a pickle sort of day” each time we order a sandwich. He will not escape the Pickle Day; lunchtime will strike him with his reckoning.

memories

I want #invader zim to stomp on me.

memories

My body is but a #invader zim temple.

2-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104

obsessed w this greg concept art

sunnshineboy-deactivated2020070

I hate how there isn't a gender neutral ma'am/sir like... what am I? a thingymajig???

marsh-ma-llow-deactivated202210

💞🙃💞

reallybigshark2

my ADHD dumbass: I have time to do the thing

me: what??? no??? no you don’t???

my ADHD dumbass: I have time

me: dude wtf you have literally been stressing because you have been putting this off for 3 days start doing the thing

my ADHD dumbass: it’s fine I have time

me: you have literally an hour! start fucking working!

my ADHD dumbass: *opening tumblr* it’s fine

me: *screaming*

roseriku-deactivated20200506

c3po

scooby: raggy what’s rat?

shaggy: like scoob that’s incoming enemy missiles!

scooby: ruh roh

hotvampireadjacent

slightly-gay-pogohammer

goretober 2019 day 1: amputation

since i didnt do anything the third (again orz) i figured it was about time i made some fma art this month B)

pglang

nice joke bro now i'm insecure

adhd-alien

I admire people who can meditate, but some of us simply can’t. For me, task shifting is simply too hard! I Can’t stop thinking about what I was doing. This doesn’t mean we cant utilize other strategies to help us with mindfulness. I actually play rhythm games (Beat Saber) to “meditate”. Or I go out with the dog and have a nice long walk. What have you found for yourself?