[mjalti]

do you have a self care routine?

“Keep going bitch!!” said to myself in different accents

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

I committed to the bit so hard that I also committed misdemeanor impersonation of a government official

[yesterdaysprint]

The Wichita Beacon, Kansas, August 9, 1918

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

imagine going back to 1918 and hearing someone say idk on the street

[effemimaniac]

sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

[utopians]

man what's even the point of those stupid ass pikachu ads they literally arent even advertising anything. the link just takes you to the dashboard

[padeko]

So there's this thing called jokes.

[utopians]

unfortunately tumblr forcing me to see their stupid ass unfunny joke over and over between every 5 posts is actually far worse and more obnoxious than an ad could ever be. god bless

[sunshineandrainbowpiss]

Boring vibes coming off op rn

[utopians]

if we lived in the cyberpunk dystopia you would 100% fall in love with an advertisement hologram programmed to emulate human speech

[etrianodysseyobsession-hd-deact]

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

i spent an insane amount of time trying to make that gif on my phone lmao please validate me 🥲

[crazy-brazilian]

[legitimately]

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

[legitimately]

[casgirl]

This disclaimer pops up whenever I start talking

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

this is the only reality shifting tiktok I believe

[thedeathdeelers]

every time i get a new follower who isn’t a porn bot:

[jwasontodd]

[mslockheart]

I always have to start the New Years with this picture.

[stuff-from-web]

[funnytwittertweets]

[marypsue]

maybe this silly little coffee drink will equip me to face the unrelenting and unendurable horror of existence

[wiiwheel]

[hotvampireadjacent]