School of DorkFish

I am a dorkfish. That is all you need knowing.

[wilwheaton]

[ariadne-mouse]

me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth

fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))

me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!

fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*

[steakosaur]

[kuma-kami]

Visit Original Link

[snowdaysforever]

DELETE THIS POST

[theoldspaceevibes-deactivated20]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[froborr]

*clicks play in morbid curiosity*

*hammers reblog button*

[chongoblog]

I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do

[chthonicathenean]

I don’t know how I forget about this every year but I love it

[macklesufficient]

rb to give it up for laura hall and linda taylor

[hellboys]

THE BIRDCAGE (1996) dir. mike nichols

[shitpostingkats]

An important thing about Noctis Lucis Caelum, 114th heir to the throne of Lucis, the True King, is that he's just. The most normal little cringefail teenager.

He's so tired all the time. He just wants to be left alone to do his dumb little hobbies (fishing) and (gacha mobile game). He's a very picky eater who is stuck travelling the world with a cordon bleu chef. His head hurts constantly and he always wants to take a nap.

He's literally god's most chronically ill soldier.

[memewhore]

[fiery-rat]

an important addition

[fluentisonus]

rewatching a show isn't enough I need to sit down & watch it with someone who's never seen it before

[aquilacalvitium]

And have them enjoy it and ask questions about it

[marinella-ela]

[phoenixwrites]

#that giraffe is being so cute and curious and gentle#and that is running full speed because this is the worst fucking day if his LIFE#like IMAGINE having your butt gently scooted by the snoot of a pressence so massive#your body is not designed to even see high enough to see the top of#abd hes just gently nudging you along as you run for your life as fast as your legs can carry you#giraffe is playing humans are enjoying turtle is living out a cosmic horror story

[anime-books-and-movies]

✨️The giraffe✨️:

Vs.

The turtle:

[drumcorpshero]

Spoopy Season Safety

[massacre-girlypop]

Oh my god reblog to save a me thank you

[cotardkindrome1999]

Reblogging even though it's way past Halloween bc this is an important reminder!

[suotar]

Stay away from anything with charcoal during this season if you are on ANY medication!!!

[roboco-san]

there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN

[seaside-werewolf]

[ballwizard]

boys: jacking off

girls: jilling off

non binary : ferching a pail of water

[queer-as-city-folk]

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

[fearthefuzzybear]

our beautiful rail line... (so far)

[favoritesticle]

the time has come for Sanrio to bring back Big Challenges

[pocketss]

leave your laundry on the floor for them

[animentality]

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"

[spookybuttons-deactivated202101]

at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence 

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels 

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes 

“i love bible”