[frogitivity2]

Please take good care of them!

[femmefaramir]

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

[hobbit-hole]

there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping

[delicatelytoobear]

the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor 

so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off

[adhd-trash-mammal]

That’s a man who just straight up had a problem with the concept of wearing pants into battle, and I respect that

[cumaeansibyl]

male or female

hero or villain

sea or land

even in the snow

I guarantee you Frazetta’s Rohirrim were 100% pants-free

[missmollyetc]

Good Old Frank. That man loved bodies and hated clothes so much

[thebyrchentwigges]

[trist-pkmngal]

Frank Frazetta was the reason He-Man was designed like that; the producers conduct a study to see what art appeal the most to children, and Frank’s work came out on top in popularity. So everyone in He-Man is dressed the way they are directly because of Frazetta.

[snugglebunchesofeyes]

That man gave us the gift of warrior thighs and tits for everyone.

[olderthannetfic]

Ah, it has been too long since I have seen the no pants post on my dash. And yes, this is a rare case where it wasn’t some sexist nonsense but an egalitarian No Pants Agenda.

[olderthannetfic]

It’s time for my regular reblog of Gondor Needs No Pants

[netherworldpost]

[pleasuremostcarnal]

[yeomanrand]

I can’t remember now if it was Frank Frazetta and his Mrs. who used their own bodies for character models or if that was Boris and Mrs. Vallejo. Both pairs were ripped, though.

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[barissoffee]

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY! | May 4th, 2026

[nightvaleofficial]

[there-was-love]

Has this been done...

[phillietemple]

most normal couple at the airport

[astrolugo]

The Artemis II crew captured an impressive image of the Earth from 41,000 miles away this morning.

It is the first time since 1972 that human beings see an Earth in a growing phase in its entirety.

[that-catholic-shinobi]

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

[disgruntledexplainer]

the daughter of the embodiment of darkness which ate the original sun and moon and almost ate the devil.

[matrixdragon]

That's not important. What is important is that it was a danger to Mister Frodo.

[0gl1tch0]

Time for me to info dump about Sam and Shelob.

In lord of the rings lore, there are three tiers of deities. The highest tier and most dangerous includes Morgoth - Sauron’s master, and Ungoliant, Shelob’s master. The middle tier includes Shelob, Sauron. Then there’s the lowest tier, which includes the wizards Gandalf and Saruman as well as the Balrog (this is why Gandalf couldn’t 1v1 the Balrog). It also explains why Gandalf doesn’t take the ring, the magic of a tier 2 deity would absolutely corrupt him. We even see that happen with Saruman and the Palantir.

This leads to the start of the answer to some interesting questions. Why does Sauron tolerate Shelob being in his territory, and why does Sauron tolerate there being a secret back door into Mordor?

On the surface, he does it because he might not be able to beat Shelob in a fight, after all they’re the same tier of deity. And since Shelob’s domain is the secret way into Mordor, he can’t close it off, and he seriously doubts anyone can use it to get in. He doesn’t monitor the path with guards either - Shelob would eat them.

It gets more detailed than that though. Sauron’s boss, Morgoth, and Shelob’s boss, Ungoliant, made a deal. They’d attack the tree of life together. Morgoth would drink the nectar, and Ungoliant would keep all of the jewels and magic they earned along the way. Morgoth broke this deal because there was a particularly powerful gem he wanted (the gem in Sauron’s helmet), and as a result Ungoliant went to war with Morgoth.

Ungoliant won, Morgoth barely escaped with his life.

So not only does Sauron maybe lose if he attacks Shelob. Even if he were to win, it might provoke Ungoliant into attacking Morgoth again, and Ungoliant wins that fight, she’s already done it once.

With all of that established, how the hell does Sam hurt a deity that powerful?

Well, to start, it’s impossible. Shelob’s hide is so tough Sam could never pierce it with all his might. However, Shelob had grown old and arrogant. During the fight, Sam winds up directly underneath Shelob, and Shelob decides to crush Sam with all her strength.

Unfortunately, Sam is pointing sting straight up.

While Sam lacks the strength to hurt Shelob, Shelob herself is plenty strong. She accidentally impales herself on sting, finding herself injured for the first time in thousands of years. Which is the sort of poetry I really appreciate about Tolkien’s writing.

No matter how powerful or evil or ancient or indestructible your foe, if you stand for what is right and hold your sword out, they will impale themselves upon it.

Sam’s backstory in this scene is much simpler. He has to save Frodo.

[that-catholic-shinobi]

I love it when tolkien fans reblog posts with the deep lore receipts. Thank you

[crackinwise]

Shoutout to Nazgul, the 2yo Czechoslovakian wolfdog who ran onto the cross-country skiing course and across the finish line to the crowd's cheers.

No worries: He's a local pet, he's friendly, he didn't interfere with any athletes' results, and he was returned to his owners. Videos at the link. [X]

Nazgul, YOU are an Olympian!

[acelessthan3]

Still collecting the full alphabet of the “live, laugh, love” variants if anyone has some good examples.

Bonus if they can fit the “We can’t ___, _____, ____ our way out of this.”

[dhegdheer]

compilation of the comments’ best hits + some of mine own.

[writing-prompt-s]

One night, you decide to put your phone under your pillow. When you wake up in the morning, your phone is replaced by cash totaling what you paid for your phone. Turns out the tooth fairy takes more than just teeth.

[gwen-tolios]

You regret the loss if your phone, of course, but the tooth fairy gave you brand new market price and so you bought a new one with the cash and pocketed the rest.

You experiment. Sticking items under your pillow is better than the hassle of Facebook marketplace.

She doesn’t take the plastic plate set you’ve tried to sell for weeks, but she takes a gold rimmed china saucer from your Grandma’s old set. You get brand new market value for it - from 1946 when it had been bought.

She ignores jeans and books, but trades for spoons and costume jewelry. The tooth fairy, you realize, is a bit of a magpie. If it’s a little bit shiny, she’ll give you cash.

You clear out the jewelry table at a garage sale, place them one by one under your pillow. The amount you get varies, but still is brand new market value of when the item was originally bought. Nothing more than $50, but that’s better than the $8 you bought it for.

After a few weeks, something changes. Your bank account isn’t as empty, your pillow is thicker. You take a nap, because sleeping on items isn’t the most comfortable. You wake up to a crinkle, a note next to your nose.

The writing is tiny, you need your phone’s magnifier to read it, but it turns out just as you’ve been using the tooth fairy, she wants to use you. She’s dropped off a list of wants; hints at a finder fee in cash or precious metals.

It’s specific, odd stuff. A clean dollar coin. A chandelier crystal. A reversible sequin pillow. Antique holiday ornaments. Photo hooks. All, you think, easy to get.

You sign her contact with purple sparkly gel pen and offer it as a freebie.

[lunarflare64]

WHO THE FUCK SIGNS A CONTRACT WITH A FAIRY WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS-

[voidsentprinces]

[only-cat-memes]

[arrowheadedbitch]

Have any of you seen totoro

[nightvaleofficial]

[the-seelie-court-official]

"that doesn't sound sincere- it sounds rehearsed" is one of the most devastating and fucked-up statements you can make to anyone in the neurodivergent/ADHD/Autistic/Schizophrenic/Disordered Personality sphere. yeah bitch it's rehearsed. because i wanted to get it right when i said it

[nightvaleofficial]