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$LAYYYTER
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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Cosmic Funnies

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@scornforoblivion
I don’t care if you make fun of Catholicism as long as it’s accurate! The best humour has its roots in the truth.
“You can be mean to me but there are RULES about it” is the most Catholic thing I’ve ever seen.
I walked into that one
we need to keep this circulating so it can find the people who are about to stay up for 3 to 4 hours
they should make a saluting emoji that looks tired. exhausted even. one that got to the airport at 3:30 AM perhaps. dare I say a saluting emoji that's about to stuck in an overnight layover in dallas. hypothetically!
you got it boss
that's a happy ending, kindness in action can do some good here and there.
The new Hellraiser movie looks great
Trio for Harmonica, Rubber Duck, and Belt in D Minor
The children of the night, what beautiful music they make...
upstairs neighbor behavior
I love how all the comments at once as completely accurate but still cannot encapsulate what the fuck is going on here.
Not to be a Boomer but your social media should be your own space, not something employers are allowed to look at to judge you beyond the qualifications stated in your resume and cover letter
The other day my work had us take a social media survey about what social media platforms we’d be comfortable posting about our products on and I selected “I don’t use social media” before immediately coming over to Tumblr to dunk on them
coming for you
once you start noticing how many of the Sexy Thicc Anime Babez hornyposted across the net with fat tits and fat asses overflowing out of their micro-bikinis still have 24" waists and rail-thin arms and pencil necks you never stop noticing it
if you're going to say a character is "thicc" and show off her assets, you damn well better make sure that, in the immortal words of sir mix-a-lot, the red beans and rice didn't miss her
I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp’s name was?
Nim Chimpsky.
Fucking monkey pun.
And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But
BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.
Its not just the linguistic anthropologists.
There’s a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/organization… they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous. The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs. And then someone decided to get clever and name one “sonic hedgehog” because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.
Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child’s lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a “sonic hedgehog mutation”.
And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties.
Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle “the ferrous wheel”. We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes.
The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO.
Half a byte of data is a nibble.
Particle physicists went out of their way to call a particle a WIMP (weakly interacting matter particle) just because its weak so now you have physicists saying stuff like “one of the candidates for dark matter are wimps”
I love science
So cool to see the growth!
kandinsky ain't got nothin on her
I just learned a thing about art.
You can just paint circles. And still make amazing art.
Things that have always stopped me from trying to art:
I can't understand shapes and perspective
I can't understand shading and lighting
I can't make faces or human bodies because I don't perceive them really (every face I draw is the same face, because that is what my face blindness sees)
I can't think of scenes to make
I don't understand "simplifying" what my eye sees into the mushes that artists make (For example, were to try to draw a tree, it would take me 50 years because the only way I could interpret it would be to draw every single individual leaf, exactly as it appears, which is impossible)
Today I learned that I don't have to do any of those things in order to art.
I could just paint circles forever, and that would count as art. As cool art.
I would personally be happier with squares. But still. I could just. Draw shapes and paint them in, and it would count as art.
Eye-opening.
It would be super fucking cool if you did that actually. I think you should do that.
.
ball
shaft
ball
what have you done to my beautiful cock and balls
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk
Originally posted by disneyasastrology
BWAHAHAHAHAH.
the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And you’d do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material. ‘behind the foam door is a door made of spinach’ that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.
A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre.
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) dir. Danny Leiner
Ordering that meal today:
and here's the us inflation calculator to compare it to as well