[scratch0urnames]

Underrated Unwind: The Genreless Era, a playlist by shinylocks on Spotify

Unwind after a long day with underrated, genre-bending talent. A medley of R&B, hip-hop, indie rock, and electronic sounds.

Check out my playlist! Please give it a follow!

Unwind after a long day with underrated genre-bending talent. A medley of R&B, hip-hop, indie rock, and electronic sounds.

[whatisyourchildhoodtrauma]

BTVS + one group shot per season

[scratch0urnames]

vague and not-so-vague updates

-hard work, stress, tons of it, it never ends

-heartbreak and finding peace

-successes and failures

-truly, honestly, wholeheartedly valuing old friendships

-discovering new friendships and truly, honestly, wholeheartedly valuing those

-social shifts, newfound confidence, learning to adapt, learning to cut ppl off/distance myself from the toxic vibez

-my new friends are 23-31 years of age from all over the US. i am 22 going on 23. talk about an eclectic group!!!

-i saw snow, i kept seeing snow, it is snowy

-i went to third man records, again, it was everything. wow, i know i love music but no i’m serious this time i love music

-i am on the way to getting published in a scientific journal

-training more martial arts again to keep sanity

-my new car is my baby, i named him cosmo

-realizing my worth, working to keep in mind my worth, prioritizing myself, ya know, self-love, all that .... still working on it

-and

-idk, the raconteurs released music for the first time in over a decade today

[peppermint-vinyl]

The Raconteurs - ‘Sunday Driver’ Music Video

[scratch0urnames]

My heart is so goddamn full.

[scratch0urnames]

So I currently live in a rural city about one hour from a major city

(I attend a school that specializes in rural medicine) And I was trying to pinpoint why exactly everything felt so familiar

The casual meteorite craters, the welcoming local vibes (where everyone knows everyone!), the creepy vibes from the town over.......

The lack of lights at night........

The many deer that abruptly try to become friends with me as I drive..........

And then I realized...................

I live in an episode of Gravity Falls.

[science]

[scratch0urnames]

i think it’s a w e s o m e that my friend from hs is now a producer/fan favorite (there r so many ppl in love with him!!) in brockhampton.

sometimes i just look at our ol group chat and smile. lol.

dis boi be like “sorry i’ve been busy!” without telling us he was in a music supergroup. L O L, at least now we know.

i sit in a car with the friends i made in university and they blast brockhampton and then he comes on to do his thing and i’m like this is absolutely surreal. i’m listening to him through car speakers. my friends are vibing to this. amazing.

hope ur doing well, bud.

[scratch0urnames]

You know when good things happen after weeks, months, years of stress

and you’re like why the heck was I ever so mopey and grumpy ever???

Life is great!!

I wish I could take that feeling and put it in a bottle and spray that shit all over me when things are rough.

Backstory: I have been a mess working on my Medical Biochem course and finishing up med applications and I was freaking out because I realized I needed one more recommendation letter, and I was shooting emails left and right and then one of my FAVORITE professors agreed to write me a letter. This is a professor who GASSES ME TF UP, like after my final presentation for his class he was like WELL WHAT THE HELL, THAT WAS SO GOOD. CAN YOU MAKE MY PRESENTATIONS FOR ME?

He’s so unapologetically honest about his opinions of his students’ work ethics. And I do feel pretty bad that he just says things like that to me and not other students, but for that moment I allowed myself to push aside those feelings of guilt and just glory in the good moment.

That day was one of the greatest days of my undergraduate career. I worked so hard, I should be a little happy! Overcame semesters of illness and doubt and despair and here I am, killin’ the game.

I proved to myself that I can be a great presenter and an effective communicator of higher level science. Despite all the obstacles. I made it.

And to have this guy I look up to praising my efforts? Unbelievable. This is something my younger self would dream about, and I made that shit a reality.

So this awesome guy is writing me a recommendation letter. And I can’t be happier.

[personblogging]

[herbiwhore420]

what was this show

[anotherpapercut]

a fucking gift to humanity 

[lilpieceofmyworld]

[scratch0urnames]

It’s been around a month since I heard the news.

It started with he telling me that he has depression and anger issues. He was scared and confused and his family was essentially disowning him because they thought he was making up mental illness to get out of school. In addition to this, he was going through an identity crisis since he can’t join the US Army if he is taking medication for mental illness  -- he was in the ROTC program at our university. He was also a body builder. He was really big lol.

I tried to comfort him with my own struggles of medical problems and how it affected my grades but I eventually overcame it. You can too, bud! 

But fast forward a couple of weeks, he has been throwing up everyday. Doctors thought it was just a reaction to the anti-depressant medication. But something was wrong. He knew it, I knew it. This was worse. A friend drove him to the emergency room.

And then the news came out. Happy birthday, also you have brain cancer. Yeah, he found out on his birthday.

The hospital visit was whirlwind for me. I had a cold, but he had brain cancer. I was tired from exams, but he had brain cancer. That’s all I could think about. Why am I upset about my own silly misfortunes when he has brain cancer?

I know my feelings are valid despite anyone’s circumstances, and I usually push myself not to think in the way I did at the hospital. But this time, I just couldn’t. I tried to block out those thoughts and just focus on the present. Okay, be there for him. Memes! He likes memes. And so we talked about memes.

He was also so much more humble, so much more thankful when talking to me. And he kept offering me pizza. I don’t know why it made me so emotional when he offered me pizza. Maybe it’s because when he motioned at the pizza his eyes could barely move from the tumor. Maybe it’s because I’m supposed to be the friend offering him shit but he’s being the kind and thoughtful person he always was, even in a damn hospital bed. Maybe it’s because as he motioned to the pizza I also got to see everyone else in the room, and marvel at how it was a semi-high school reunion and at how he had so many friends comfortably sitting around, keeping him company and showing him love. The next day, he was flown to Miami for a serious surgery. It went smoothly, thank god, but was just a biopsy. Tumor cannot be taken out. He started chemo. And fast forward to now. He is out of the hospital and walking again but he is damn depressed. Staring at the walls. No motivation to even watch a tv show.  When I tell people “Yeah, he has cancer”, I don’t know why I expect better responses than what they give me. I mean, they’re sad about the news, of course, but I wish they gave me more. I think I just want someone to relate to me and show me they understand the impact this is having on me. He is not just an acquaintance to me, as he is to the people I talk to about him (we didn’t have many mutual friends). 

He has been there for me since my Freshman year at university. Helping me through the toughest times, encouraging me to get milkshakes so I can enjoy my Saturdays instead of overwork myself hittin’ the textbooks. He’s that friend that reminds you it’s okay to relax a little, it’s okay to breathe in all that life has to offer. And it is especially okay to soak up all the dankest memes and the funniest and scariest video games. 

Talking to him nowadays, knowing he’s so sad because his friends are getting ready for the next chapter in their lives after graduation -- of course it breaks my heart. I’m moving to Tennessee and he will still be in his home. Just waiting.

I look at the pictures of piggy back rides. Of us walking a long walk to get some cheap & bad asian food (cheap & bad asian food becomes cost-effective & good asian food when you’re a starving college student). Petting dogs. Nerf gun wars. The dumbest, purest moments of fun.

I wish I could bring him the life and the energy that he brought me when I was anxious and depressed. I don’t know how. I’m trying my best but sometimes I just don’t know what to say.

I send him memes tho.

[oldfilmsflicker]

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, 1947 (dir. Norman Z. McLeod)

[lesbiansontelly-blog]

[scratch0urnames]

miss my pals & our adventures💓

[weloveshortvideos]

[toushindai]

[video: a person twirls an anime keychain above a number of chicks and creates a chick vortex]

[505--503--4455-deactivated20161]

why did this need to be captioned

[officialflowergirl]

so u can decide when it’s not loading whether or not it’s worth it to wait

[heir-to-the-diamond-throne]

I waited and it was worth it

[are-you-even-gluten-free-bro]

Life is beautiful

[wetookanoath]

(◡‿◡✿)

[puffpuffmami]

1992