Scream at the Void

Cringe content only

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

maybe I’ll start a big google doc or something one day but for now *deep breath*

The Beautiful Ones (Silvia Moreno-Garcia) - absolutely BUCKWILD romance with a dash of telekinesis; nonstop high society drama and misunderstanding from start to finish, happy ending guaranteed. STRONGLY recommend if you, like me, are a basic bitch who enjoys a bit of Pride and Prejudice. 

Binti (Nnedi Okorafor) - a math prodigy runs away from Earth to become the first of her people to attend a prestigious university in space, but shit gets real when a crew of hostile jellyfish aliens attack her ship. 

Chilling Effect (Valerie Valdes) - a spaceship captain and her crew take on a series of convoluted missions in order to rescue the captain’s sister, who’s been frozen and held for ransom. 

The City of Brass (S.A. Chakraborty) - an 18th century conwoman and a mysterious djinn team up to go looking for a legendary hidden city.

The City We Became (N.K. Jemisin) - a scrappy bunch of Chosen Ones have to band together to defend New York City (which is very much alive) from a huge ass monster. 

The Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone) - a lady supervillain gets blasted into space and meets an even bigger, planet-destroying evil space empress. literally WHAT is not to like?

The Empress of Salt and Fortune (Nghi Vo) - high fantasy royal drama about a woman making her way to power in the wake of a political marriage that left without friends or allies. 

Escaping Exodus (Nicky Drayden) - a space-faring clan are creating their latest spaceship from the insides of a giant monster when absolutely everything goes to shit (as things are wont to do in science fiction stories). 

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars (Kai Cheng Thom) - a trans girl runs away to the big city, where she uses her martial arts skills to team up with other trans woman and form a vigilante gang to defend their own when police look the other way. a fascinating blend of poetry and prose and magical realism. 

Finna (Nino Cipri) - two exes working at an IKEA have to team up to save a customer who disappeared through one of those interdimensional portals that all IKEAs have laying around. you know how it is.

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir) - come on, you’ve heard about this one. it’s the one with the lesbian space necromancers? yeah, that’s the one. you got it.

In the Vanishers’ Palace (Aliette de Bodard) - a Beauty and the Beast retelling based in science fiction and Vietnamese fantasy, featuring a young woman falling in love with a “beast” who’s actually a motherly dragon after becoming a tutor to the dragon’s two powerful children. 

Jade City (Fonda Lee) - urban fantasy gang wars, pitting one magically enhanced family against rivals and a new drug that lets anyone mimic their abilities. 

The Library of the Unwritten (A.J. Hackwith) - hell’s librarian gets sent on a quest to find a runaway soul. 

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Becky Chambers) - aka one of my favorite books ever, essentially slice of life science fiction following an interspecies crew of deep space truckers making the longest and most complicated delivery of their lives. very warm and fuzzy. 

Mort (Terry Pratchett) - one of many MANY Discworld books, but a very good one to start with, following the adventures of a boy named Mort after he’s taken on as Death’s apprentice. you know, like the Grim Reaper? that Death. 

River of Teeth (Sarah Gailey) - historical AU in which the United States imported and domesticated hippos in the Mississippi River; follows a crew of hippo-riding crooks and hooligans as they plan one heck of a caper. 

Space Opera (Catherynne Valente) - a washed up rock star and his old bandmate get roped into performing in an intergalactic singing competition that will determine the fate of the entire planet Earth. full of aliens, attempted assassination, art, and emotional turmoil. 

This Is How You Lose the Time War (Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone) - time-travelling assassins from rival factions fall in love in a poetic and breathless story that spans centuries and reality. 

Under the Pendulum Sun (Jeannette Ng) - fairyland is real, and Victorian England is sending missionaries. a woman and her brother attempt to bring the good word to the fair folk, but start to suspect the queen might just be screwing with their heads. PEAK gothic horror with a creepy fairy twist. 

Witchmark (C.L. Polk) - a doctor and former soldier with magical powers of healing is trying to live a quiet life and avoid his controlling, aristocratic family’s plans for him, only to get tangled up in a massive political conspiracy when one of his patients mysterious dies. accompanying him in his investigation is a mysterious and gorgeous faerie man. romance ensues. 

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

for those of y’all who like goodreads I’ve started a shelf of adult books for ya fans, which is currently 40+ books strong and will continue to grow

[screamatthevoid]

Even though nothing has really changed, it was really cathartic to imagine each of the crap 2020 events burning up with each firework.

[wilwheaton]

(via 3H2mGBF.jpg (1080×1432))

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Learning Guy Fieri is actually an excellent human being is what taught me to cool it a little on the cringe culture pile-ons. Like, this is a man who performs gay weddings, donates pretzel machines to schools for their fundraisers, gives a shitload of money to restaurant workers, and apparently lives on a ranch with 400 goats and a flock of peacocks. So who cares if he has wild spiky hair and draws flames on everything? He’s a good egg, and if making crazy hamburgers and shopping at hot topic makes him happy, then let him be happy! And if other people like “cringey” things, so what? Are they kind? Are they caring? Do they have several hundred goats? That’s what matters! 

[the-ugliest-bird]

Wait Guy Fieri is considered cringe? I just legit thought he has a cool aesthetic:

[dorian-v-gaye]

“Cringe” is just an excuse for people who bullied others as kids to keep bullying people into adulthood. Fuck cringe.

[screamatthevoid]

My tagline on most social media is 'cringe content only' for reasons exactly like this one

[aesthetics-themusical]

Don't mind me just, dead-of-night aesthetic diversifying

[theradioghost]

I STEPPED OUTSIDE OF THE FRONT DOOR OF MY OWN HOME ONLY TO FIND THE DEER THAT TRIED TO KICK MY ASS LAST YEAR STANDING RIGHT THERE IN MY FRONT YARD. BOLD AS BRASS.

AM I NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ANYMORE

[theradioghost]

for those of you who were not here last year: this deer is the most obnoxious, unnatural red-orange color I’ve ever seen, only appears when it’s raining, and once chased me a quarter mile through the woods. her name is Hot Cheeto Hatred and she is my nemesis

[galuby]

dude, i think that’s a fairy

[whitepeopletwitter]

[screamatthevoid]

#reality

[harry-strickland]

[anarchy-kisses]

The west coast is on fire, Houston is underwater, two hurricanes are on their way, parts of the world are also flooded, and I’m currently using defense mechanisms to stay calm about the fate of humanity so I just have one thing to ask:

Who didn’t forward that chain letter from 2007

[narkik]

the staryk king: i think,…. i’m falling in love w/ you ,,,…..

miryem, boiling with rage, having already plotted his murder 5 times over:

[thedankest]

[thedankest]

[screamatthevoid]

A day at the garden

Might be short today because I'm exhausted. I got up pretty early today, but I still didn't get up early enough so I was late to Bible Study. It was so nice to see the girls and I even think I didn't stick my foot in my mouth even once. We discussed the Acts of Service part of the 5 love languages book.

I had lunch with EK, and it was delicious but a little awkward. I was teaching her and her friend Emily for a little while but I self-sabatoged and managed to blow that one up.

After that I went to Herb Farm with P! Really fun. The flowers were blooming and it was lovely and sunny. I had a wonderful time hanging out with P. We haven't had time together in so long.

After that I got lost on the bus and ended up somewhere on the other side of town, so I called DH and we went grocery shopping. We spent too much money and I got a veiled lecture on how we need to keep an eye on our grocery budget, which of course made me feel like trash.

But the day ended on a good enough note, with a delicious dinner and some fantastic sex. I guess I'm forgiven. =P

[screamatthevoid]

Today was better

I don’t feel like I laid around like a slob today, but I was still too anxious to go to the bank. I hovered outside the doors, then ran like a coward.

I had three work sessions today, so that was good. I had a wonderful lesson with my new student -- she made me her own version of homemade lemonade! Apparently lemonade in Korea is always sparkling, so that was different. I really liked her lemon squeezer. She is also really adorable and fun to be around. Her kitchen is magical.

I took some photos today. Maybe I’ll actually get around to posting them eventually. Mostly of flowers. I love flowers, I think. I didn’t think I did before, but the more I look at them the happier I become.

I was so tired all day, because DH came home so late from his work dinner last night and woke me up. I had to get him into the shower and into bed -- he smelled like samgyupsal. I hate those Korean work dinners sometimes -- DH never drinks too much unless he goes to one of those. It’s times like this when I remember why we need to leave Korea. I don’t know if I could raise kids in a house where my husband came home stinking drunk multiple times a week. And at these dinners they MAKE him drink -- as the youngest of the group he doesn’t really have a choice. I hate it. I HATE it. I don’t resent him going out and having fun with friends, but he doesn’t even like a lot of those people from his job.

But it’s not so bad, I guess. My coupang order came in today, and I am so excited to have pasta for a little while. I know I’ll run out sooner than later but I am SO sick of curry, which is all I’ve been able to cook for a while. I ran out of gluten-free soy sauce, and DH loves curry, so I’ve been cooking it. It’s delicious, but I’m just excited to use up my basil bush. It’s getting leggy and needs cutting back anyway.

I have no excuses. I’ve organized myself to death, prepared outlines for at least thirty blog posts, but I just can’t start them. I’m still suspicious that C is stealing ideas from my blog, and it’s just not /fair/. She’s a much bigger blogger than me. Why does she need my ideas? I guess I’m just afraid that she’s better than me. She is better than me, I guess, because she has a consistent update schedule. But her content isn’t as well thought out as mine, unless she’s stealing it from me. I followed her for a year before I started my own blog, and her blog was mostly just photos of coffee and undescriptive restaurant reviews before she started stealing my ideas. I don’t know what to do. Every time I go to write a blog post I just feel so discouraged.

I have so much to do and so little time. It’s all stuff I like to do -- write, read, blog, work. But I just feel so anxious and horrible whenever I think about it.

Maybe it will be better tomorrow. I get to see P!

[screamatthevoid]

A Thursday to Forget

I feel like the most unproductive person in the world. I slept until 9, had a brownie for breakfast, made coffee I didn’t drink, had lunch and coffee with Julia, lazed around the coffee shop for hours, and pretended to do work. I couldn’t make myself go home for dinner alone, so I’ll have to throw away the rice in the rice cooker tomorrow.

I ate Vietnamese food twice today, though, which is a happy thought. And I did pay off my credit card, even though it took hours and hours of fighting with the website. And I made this blog, because apparently I can’t blog in journals without getting distracted and giving up, so I thought that an anonymous blog would be the best way to get my thoughts out. That’s something.

I really need someone to talk to, honestly. I feel like I can’t be honest with anyone, because I don’t want them to be disappointed in me. I don’t know why I’m so afraid of disappointment, exactly. But I’m afraid of disappointing the people around me – that my husband will wake up one day and realize he’s married a loser, or that my family will finally give up on me because I’m a terrible, anxious mess who can’t make a phone call without a week’s worth of pep-talks. I’m afraid of emails and going to the bank and so many things. And I pretend that I’m not. That I’m brave.

I talked to Julia a little, but my problems always sound so… trite, when they come out of my mouth. It feels silly to talk about them.

Fake it till you make it, right?

[screamatthevoid]

I don’t freaking understand myself sometimes

I’m trying to start a blog, but I am working things out in fits and starts. I can’t seem to keep up a steady update rate, and on top of that I think another blogger is stealing my ideas. Every time I post something, about two weeks later she posts a nearly-identical article. Our niche is pretty small, but she’s been at it longer than me and I feel like I’ll never get traction as long as she keeps doing this.

I’d like to start up in Youtube too, I have some ideas, but I just feel like no one will ever want to pay attention to what I say. No one ever does.

It just feels like I’m a failure.

[screamatthevoid]

Just got my first negative FF review

I feel so special.

I made it, guys.

Enough people are reading my work to hate it.

[millennial-review-deactivated20]