I watched Masters of the Universe (2026) in theaters. 7.5/10, C. This feels like a movie made by the kind of MOTU superfans who feel vaguely ashamed to like the franchise and so desperately make fun of the franchise to try and make themselves feel better about it.
I saw a review saying the humor would be make or break for you, and I think for me it was break.
This is the kind of movie that can't sit still with itself. For the bulk of its runtime, it's incapable of having an earnest, straightforward moment without interrupting itself with an attempt at a cheap joke. This movie never misses the chance for a cheap, obvious joke.
There are moments of earnestness in this that the movie allows itself, there's stuff to like here, but there would be a lot more if the movie wasn't desperately jangling keys in front of the audience like 'haha, he-man's a goofy franchise, isn't it? isn't? please laugh. please laugh. please. we're desperate for you to laugh.'
It's also very long and there are some issues with Skeletor's audio - his dialogue is often hard to make out. It's embarrassed by itself and is trying to be too many things at once and is tonally inconsistent as a result.
SPOILERS BEGIN
-Quick overview of plot - I'm going to use spoiler tags since it's a recent release - After Skeletor conquers Eternos, six-year old Adam is sent to Earth as an exile and is raised as Adam Glenn on Earth from there on. As an adult, he goes back, discovers the Power of Grayskull, and resolves to defeat Skeletor with Teela and Man-At-Arms, whom he remembers from his childhood.
-The movie takes advantage of its PG-13 rating, they say shit and ass and so on, there's a joke where they call Cringor a pussy.
The thing that really stuck out at me re: the tonal inconsistency was this scene where Teela is showing Adam the ruins of Eternos, they're flying over this bombed out husk of a city, and Adam asks why Skeletor would do this. And she responds with 'he's the bad guy' or something to that effect. Adam says 'but surely there's more to it than that' and Teela responds with 'he has a skull for his face, what do you expect?'
And that's kind of a big reason the movie doesn't work for me - Teela is flying over the burnt out husk of her home city, Skeletor is explicitly said to be killing people arbitrarily for his own amusement, they have him and Evil-Lyn pointlessly kill off Moss Man for shock value and a cheap joke.
And so this moment where you could build Skeletor up as a threat is wasted because the movie has to make a joke about how his name is Skeletor and he has a skull for a face. I would not be complaining if this movie had committed in either direction - if it had gone with 'shamelessly goofy He-Man' or 'we're serious now He-Man.' But it tries and fails to do both.
-What really gives this movie a ceiling of a B- for me is the fact that the characters in universe aren't actually called Ram-Man, Fisto, or Mekaneck, for example. Those were nicknames Adam gave them as a six year old because he didn't know their actual names. Man that pissed me off, dude. Have some balls, movie!
That single decision is illustrative of so much of what is wrong with this movie. It's embarrassed of itself!
It can't just have a character be called Fisto or Mekaneck. It has to have Fisto go 'uh, what did you just call me?!?' and the movie has to Surf Dracula those characters going by Fisto or Mekaneck. People will defend this movie by saying 'well, they call themselves those names by the end' but the fact that the movie thought the charade was necessary or a good idea is itself an indictment of the creative process behind it.
(Apparently no one in universe had a problem with being called 'Skeletor' or 'Evil-Lyn'. :shrug:)
-I like the idea of Sorceress choosing Adam because he was compassionate and would try to reach out to everyone, a Superman/Wonder Woman sort of deal, where he would do more with the Power of Grayskull than just punch things. But I would prefer that concept have been executed in a movie that doesn't have a ninety second sequence solely devoted to making fun of how stupid a name everyone thinks 'He-Man' is.
-There's a scene where Adam stages a prison break with his fellow warriors and he asks, smirking, raised eyebrow 'How much can you bench?' and Fisto confusedly replies 'Bench? What's bench?' because he doesn't know what that word is. Cheap, obvious joke, they couldn't resist it.
But like ten minutes later, there's a scene where Fisto and Ram-Man are fighting Skeletor's guys and Fisto's like 'ok Ram-Man, give them head!' and Ram-Man gives him an annoyed look. So what Earth slang does and doesn't exist on Eternia? I know that sounds like a strange thing to harp on, but it's emblematic of the movie's wider problem - that it throws everything else aside for the sake of dangling a cheap joke in the audience's face.
-Skeletor did look very cool in this, I have to praise the movie for that. He was very expressive. Idris Elba was great as Man-At-Arms, although, again, movie's attempts at humor cut against that.
-He-Man isn't in that movie all that often, they spend a lot of time on the (admittedly cartoon accurate) joke that Adam is pretty pathetic and so we spend most of the movie with Adam stuttering and tripping and so on. It got old for me so fast.
EDIT: There's a scene in MOTU2026 that I only just now remembered - where Man-At-Arms and Roboto destroy a statue of an ancient Eternian hero to kill Skeletor's guys, and they just sort of applaud and hi five after doing that. That's an ancient relic of your culture - you don't have any feelings on destroying it? It's like if someone from NYC dynamited the Statue of Liberty to fall on a Nazi-controlled ship, after the Nazis had been occupying NYC for 15 years.
I'm sure I have more thoughts on this - the fact that I saw this in theaters and not at home meant I wasn't taking notes. Maybe I'll take a pen and paper to Disclosure Day next week.
okay so suddenly super ruined mirage. great job, gang. PART ONE.
for reference, mirage is my favourite incredibles character. i love her so much. like, girl... my precious little morally grey femme fatale right-hand-woman... my precious little loose end, you... i have a type in women and it's vaguely evil secretaries. mirage is my everything.
suddenly super completely ruins her and i'm only halfway through the book. and i can't even be mad. because the bar was on the floor to begin with. the twisted tales series sucks. but oh my god i wasn't anticipating this.
like, you wrote a book where mirage serves as something of a secondary protagonist and then completely ruined her. whwhwhuh?? whuh?? mkay. you do you.
did we forget that mirage is totally composed 90% of the time? aside from when she ditched syndrome and post-enduring the choke/punch wombo combo, she doesn't lose her cool. why is she getting so visibly flustered so often in this book? i mean, her acting frightened and flustered in the early chapters was kinda great, but that was her acting. as in, faking it. nevermind the fact that she was complaining to her acting teacher that the parr kids didn't buy her "babysitter" role because she chose "frightened" and "vague" as staple traits of a babysitter (why is she venting to her random acting teacher about the work she does for syndrome when a) she canonically signed an NDA and b) now her acting teacher wants to see her re-enact the scene, like???) but i digress.
and it's not all acting. her whole thing in this book is that she's an aspiring actress (why?? i mean, it's cool and i'll take it but why??) and her job in this book is to play whatever role syndrome asks her to (which is cool in theory, but...), but ever since violet threatened to leave the devor-clone house she just completely dropped her "friendly babysitter" persona and turned into... not even her canon personality. she became a "relatable" don't-talk-to-me-before-i've-had-my-coffee baby hater out of nowhere and it's really jarring. that's not my mirage.
is this supposed to be some elaborate role of "oh she's grieving the deaths of helen and bob so now she's a wreck" (oh yeah spoilers, hope you didn't care about those)??? it would be interesting if it felt like it was going in that direction (with the fake crying she did and everything) but where does her disgust with jack-jack and open disdain towards dash acting like a ten year old play into this?? it was cute when violet and mirage mutually cringed over one thing that dash did but the whole devor-clone house arc really seems to be making her out to be slightly incompetent, re: handling children and also everything else. which, i mean, apparently syndrome hired this woman from a public job listing on a bulletin board in this canon, so, i guess??
and, why does she hate children, now? like, wasn't one of the core points of her character that she has a soft spot for children and is literally the one person on that island who WILL exercise restraint toward them? who's voice broke when she confirmed the presumed deaths of at least two of them? and now she's expressing a mild hatred of them, both in her inner monologue and also openly in front of them. that's not... that's not her personality, bro.
my favourite element out of all of this is the fact that, after all these years of speculation regarding the film's implications, she and syndrome are finally confirmed to be having a "casual" fling and that she openly (and loudly) fights with him within earshot of kids. just full on yelling at her employer. "don't call me sweetheart" is a line that leaves her mouth canonically (and like, based mirage, but fuuuuck...). bear in mind at this point he hasn't even placed her life in jeopardy yet a la "show me" (as far as i know). all she's experienced thus far (that i know) is that she was hired by him a few months ago (MONTHS AGO) and she's witnessed him kill a few supers (bearing in mind she has no idea what his grand plan is in this canon and i don't think the author does either because what the fuck is a nullifier), he paid her off when she got upset, and now she's having screaming matches with him outside of his house.
like what else is that except fucking comical??? this book is on crack. don't get me started on how strangely syndrome was characterised or how dash is just Like That i guess. those two were flanderized to fuck and back but mirage is just a totally different person here. i'm gonna make an update to this when i finish the book because i'm sitting here losing my mind and i need to inform you guys.
one final note: mirage spends most of her time in this book thus far wearing baggy sweaters, cheap jeans and a shitty brown wig. it's seriously screwing with my imagination. especially given that violet is kind of suspecting that mirage isn't a True Brunette anyway. like, mirage bbg, you hate this clothing, vi is onto you, and you have an opening where you can completely shed the shit and nobody would bat an eye. TAKE IT OFF.
also mirage's real hair is not a "short bob" have you seen it from the back? shit long as hell.
Okay, not gonna lie, this current arc has lost me. I’m not sure what’s going on but the storyline is just not hitting for me. I’m fine with the bad guys finally making their moves but -
* So we’re now doing a fairy tale theme? This doesn’t really fit with the whole alien-yokai theme the series has. This feels more like something out of Fables/The Wolf Among Us or Once Upon a Time. Also, this doesn’t feel thought out, like Tatsu is just throwing stuff at the wall and hoping it fits. Usually that works for Dandadan, but not this time around. I mean, it was cool to have everyone gain these unique powers that are connected to their character/backstory. With the fairy tale reveal, now all of a sudden you want us to believe that they’re all actually connected? It’s like Tatsu wants to do his version of the Infinity Stones, but then had to retcon everyone’s established powers so that they’re all part of the same mechanism. What’s next, Vamola’s suit and Kinta’s gear were yokai the whole time and part of the fairy tale card?
* Momo Ayase losing her memories because she got tricked into doing so felt so out of character for her. Yes, it makes sense that she’d pray for her grandma’s safety, but we’re 200+ chapters into this story now. You’re telling me Momo is that much of an idiot that she doesn’t think twice about the strange spirit person telling her to recite a prayer? I’m fine with people acting out of desperation but it looks like Momo didn’t really push back on the whole scheme.
* Unji Zuma got offscreened. Please, can someone tell me which chapter ended with Zuma losing his powers because I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen. If I’m right, then Zuma really is the main character who Tatsu cares the least about. I wrote before that Tatsu just completely forgot about Zuma, which people have disagreed with. But, I mean, come on now. To lose his powers off-screen, that’s indefensible.
So while it’s cool the villains are doing something, the direction they’re going in feels undercooked and not thought out. Hopefully Tatsu proves me wrong. For now, I gotta give this chapter a failing grade.
(EDIT: I just realized something. Wasn’t the plan to collect YOKAI!? Momo’s power comes from within her, she didn’t bond with a yokai. So what are we saying here, a part of Momo’s SPIRIT got taken? And it’s the part of her spirit that’s coincidentally connected to her memories. Sorry but I’m calling bullshit to this plot point. I’m starting to get the feeling that Tatsu is just making shit up for this arc because it just feels so scatterbrain)
Berelain thought that Rand intentionally sent her with Perrin so that they would become a couple because he wanted to unite the nations, and he couldn’t sleep with her himself because he wanted to sleep with Elayne.
She is just messing with Faile, isn’t she? She can't be THAT stupid!
Perrin is now so full of himself. Now he is "wearing the hammer of a king" because he is the best choice for a Leader. In his thoughts!
And since he is so important now, he needs a cool name for his hammer in the Old Tongue. Because Perrin is "Great King", he can't just carry a simple hammer.
And how does Berelain know about the rare Talent of Asha'man to create a Power-forged weapon? How does she understand that Grady did that with the hammer?
I had bought and read this book when I was still in high school, and I had not reread it ever since. I am kind of sorry I decided to reread it. The thing is I really did not enjoy my time rereading this book althought I had loved it when I was younger. It's not the book's fault really, I'll try to explain myself as best as I can. This book is a collection of comic strips that reflect on life, some are just illustrations (which by the way are in a style I really like). The overall mood of these reflections is hardly positive, which is not bad, but it's a type of negative humor I used to live on back when I first bought the book (reason for which I had loved it). The problem is that that type of reflections and humor was what I mainly used at the time to deal with my depression and anxiety, I was in one of the worse mental places I had been, and rereading that kind of brought me back. I grew up a lot since then, I still struggle with my mental health, but differently, and I cut out a lot of that type of talk out of my life a few years ago, which has been incredibly beneficial for my health. With this I am not saying this book is wrong or bad for you mental health (especially because back in the day it had been helpful in not making me feel too lonely by having certain thoughts), it is for me at the moment, because it triggers some memories I would much rather not have in my brain. I really hope I explained myself well here, because it's a delicate matter. Rereading this book has not been great, but in a way it has helped me to see how much I have grown since my first read, and it was also good I think to confront things I had not directly thought in a few years. I never thought my opnion on a book could change so drastically, but in a way I am happy it did. I cannot say I would recommend this book, clearly for the reasons I have just explained, what I really hope will come across is that this is not a bad book at all, it was for me, for personal reasons, but I am sure many people love it just as much as I did when I was younger.
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I am so glad that season 2 was already announced… maybe by then some people will have realized what a treasure this reimagining of IWTV is.
Honestly, I read through some of the comments on IMDB, and several complain that the show hasn’t anything to do with the books, when the episodes are full of direct quotes, and the world is so lush, and vibing just brilliantly.
I actually sat down and marked everything I remembered in my copy of the book. Which makes it abundantly clear that it’s just complaining bc they expected something else. And I fear that those people are shortsighted enough to hate on it, be happy when it‘s cancelled, and then… will realize that there won’t be anything new for the next 20 years anymore. Maybe never. Because Anne is dead now. This is it. This is the content. And if it’s hate cancelled… why would anyone sit down and pick it up again anytime soon. This isn’t Spiderman.
I waited for a reboot for almost 30 years. 30.
It’s beautiful and courageous.
The actors are friggin‘ incredible, so are the sets. And the music, the music.
I for one hope we will get more than those two seasons. But I‘m very happy we get those at the very least. And I will enjoy the HELL out of it.
