Honestly just memes at this point @screamboyjenkins - Tumblr Blog

bloodlvstfvlz

my transformer sub (consensual roleplay): please we're at actual slagging war i can't drive you to waffle house

me: *spits on the steering wheel and smacks it* cars don't talk autobitch, and i'm driving

transformer sub: *engine revs* please daddy i'll get in trouble daddy

me: you want daddy to put a nickelback cd in your player? huh? is that what you want?

transformer sub: *engine revs harder* no daddy please i'll be a good bot

me: a good what?

transformer sub: a good 2016 kia sorento

c-rowlesdraws

Sweet Pea’s sister tells this story all the time and both of them think it’s really funny

imaginarylands4000

cheaphalloweencostume

genuinely what im up to on tumblr these days

tiktoks-i-enjoyed

innerchildabortionclinic

interesting kink assortment on the dash

intosnarkness

legit the best advice i can give you: feed your friends

any time someone is in any kind of crisis or upheaval, offer to feed them. tell them they don't have to choose what it is if they can't make decisions, just ask about allergies and preferences and tell them you're just gonna make food happen at their house.

friend having a baby? delivery gift certificate to order food to the hospital after the kid shows up.

someone's relative passes away? offer to make them dinner.

buddy gets laid off? ask if you can order them lunch.

pal stuck in a depressive episode? offer to drive them to fucking mcdonalds, if that's what they want.

people in crisis are tired and sad and angry and the last thing most of them are doing is thinking about feeding themselves. so if you have the ability or time or money, providing that is always, always a good move.

legit i do this all the time, and it is 100% always appreciated. i have taught all my friends that when something happens, we feed each other. it makes people feel extremely cared for, and I cannot recommend it enough.

sandersstudies

Right after I reblogged this I found out a friends’ mom was hospitalized — this is such a good reminder

If you can, provide disposable plates/utensils and save them from doing dishes — when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, bulk paper products were our most appreciated gift

punkitt-is-here

it IS monday. Let's get it on cunts

punkitt-is-here

it IS tuesday. We still must get it on cunts

punkitt-is-here

it IS wednesday. cunts you know what we must do. it's time to get it on

punkitt-is-here

it IS thursday. cunts, just a little longer. we must get it on.

punkitt-is-here

it IS friday. we cunts must persevere when we are so close to the finish line. it's time to get it on

hellenhighwater

I forgot to eat dinner so I'm having 11 pm corn on the cob. This counts as a meal

... It's possible that I really need to do some grocery shopping

hellenhighwater

Okay for those of you living in pitiful ignorance, take a raw ear of corn with the husk on and cut all the way around the base (as pictured: above the point where the husk meets the cob, so that the entire husk is severed but still wrapped around the corn. Do not cut through the cob.) Then, with the husk still on, microwave it for 5-7 minutes. It'll basically steam it inside the husk. Remove from microwave --it will be hot, so use a mitt or a towel--and firmly pull the top of the husk/silk, which should come off easily in one piece, unsheathing a flawless corn on the cob. If it doesn't, you probably need to cut a little higher around the base, so all the leaves are severed. No picking off silk!

hellenhighwater

For the nonbelievers (and for me, a second corn)

hellenhighwater

This website works so well

wavezies

things in phm that really tickled me as a marine biologist:

the concept of star-eating microbes causing a crisis and the solution being the introduction of space wolves to space yellowstone to control the space elk population. i love a good trophic cascade

dr ryland grace immediately pitching "turn the spaceship into a giant centrifuge to generate gravity" and then not balancing his actual centrifuge later on

the entire "life is reason" scene really

grace forgetting to open the mystery alien container in a fume hood AND immediately sticking his nose in it. if we did this in chemistry lab we were executed on the spot

academia drama being one of the cornerstones of grace's character

grace switching through every spectrum setting on the microscope to try to see into the astrophages and not being able to (relatable)

also: the astrophage dying and grace going "ohhh it died..." (very relatable)

grace having his not-scientist buddy Carl to give him frank solutions when he's overthinking. yes, often the solution is just to put the box in another box

copious duct tape usage

just sticking a filter into the path of the petrova line to collect astrophage goop

eva going "so it's alive" when grace tells them the astrophage are moving, and him being like "WELL ok that could be for a lot of reasons" in the tone of someone who doesn't even know where to start explaining why that's a hasty assumption

grace referring to the first new astrophage as his and carl's baby multiple times (HIGHLY relatable)

humanity's greatest hope being a teacher. humanity being saved by grace's ability to find novel ways to communicate well with others -- something that made him excellent as an educator, and enabled him to bond with rocky