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Sorry but asks are temporarily off and messaging temporarily restricted to those I follow. I will turn it back on eventually though!! Sonic Spocket Wrench. Ari. Early 30s. I like to think, often about fictional characters. I tag for freaking everything. Lots of funny/pretty/informative things interrupted by fits of fandom (...or vice versa.) Also, there's puns. Puns and the ocean. Feel free to talk to me. Cursor by almaasi.

[deadpowol]

[frownyalfred]

Reminders for new ao3 users (in no particular order):

- filter your searches like you would on a library website or in an online catalogue

- don’t post placeholders, fic searches, or recommendations as fics. DON’T! It’s against ao3 TOS

- there is no algorithm. ao3 sorts by date posted/updated unless you filter with specific search criteria

- ao3 is a non profit. that means it doesn’t sell ads to make money — it only survives on donations. this is why it can show you so many fics without ever flashing an ad or pop up at you!

- report fics that break TOS when you see them (I.e., placeholder fics, searches) to help other users navigate better

- the tag “dead dove, do not eat” doesn’t equate to gore/awfulness automatically. it is a complementary tag that enhances current tags. E.g., if the fic is tagged “gore” and “dead dove, do not eat” the author really wants you to mind the gore tag

- most fandoms have a variation of “no beta, we die like (x character)” and they all link back to the “No beta” tag

- publishing a new fic sometimes means it won’t show up in the fandom/pairing tag for a few minutes

- subscribers receive update emails at different times, depending on when you update/publish your fic. there’s no good way to predict when an e-mail will be sent — it can be in 30 seconds, or two hours later

- some fics are restricted by authors to those with ao3 accounts only. if you see a blue lock in the upper right corner, that fic is only visible to logged in ao3 users

- you can block commenters now! this didn’t use to be a thing

- updating a fic just to stay at the top of the pairing tag/fandom tag is a dick move. unless you’re legitimately editing or adding chapters, this just annoys readers and fellow authors, and people will skip over your fic

[bundibird]

- make sure that you tag your ships correctly, both romantic and platonic. Putting an “&” between a pair of names means that the ship is platonic. Putting a “/” between the characters means its romantic. For example: “Greg & Steve” = platonic. “Greg/Steve” = romantic. They are NOT interchangable.

- if your fic includes original character/s or reader insert or y/n or etc, then TAG THOSE IN THE CHARACTER TAGS. Not just in the relationship tags!! They are characters in the story, so include them in the character tags. Failing to do so means people who want to find fics with those tags won’t be able to, and people who want to exclude fics with those tags won’t be able to.

- NEVER EVER EVER ADD A LINK TO A PATREON OR KO-FEE ACCOUNT OR ETC. Ao3’s entire legal protection hinges on the fact that no one is making money from fics. If you start commissioning fics or linking to a monetary platform, you are in breach of the Ao3 terms, risking legal action, and risking ao3 as a whole. There are loads of authors/companies who WILL sue if they think you’re making money off their intellectual property.

- seconding what OP said about Dead Dove Do Not Eat. It doesn’t automatically mean “gore”; it just means “heed the tags.” It means “Hey yeah when I tagged this as [thing] I was NOT fucking around, ok? Only read this fic if you’re OK with reading [thing].”

[arahir]

additions from someone who has posted way too much on this site please listen to me:

there are no best times to post but generally sunday and monday are a good zone for traffic

you must double check and make sure the publication date matches the day a chapter is posted or it won’t show up on the first page of updates. sometimes you have to physically edit the posting date multiple times for this to be fixed.

on that note: artificially editing your publication date so your fic shows up at the top when you haven’t added a chapter is the dickest of moves and will make you a pariah. do not do this. yes everyone will notice.

editing existing chapters doesn’t count as updating a fic and won’t change the publication date.

ao3 usually adds weird spaces after italics if you copy and paste in your writing pre-formatted. it doesn’t add these until after you’ve saved a draft or posted so you have to re-edit.

check the “add space after paragraph” option in your word precessor of choice to avoid having to delete an extra space between all your paragraphs on ao3.

when you add a second chapter to a one chapter fic, your original start/end authors notes will now be appended onto the notes of every chapter unless you move them to the now extant first chapter notes sections. this is confusing, but you’ll see what i mean.

to post on anon: add your fic to the anonymous (anonymous) collection. it’ll take up to fifteen to minutes to show in the tag once posted. it’ll show up (to you) as AUTHOR NAME: fic title. no one else sees it this way. it will never show up on your own dashboard unless you go to your stats page. if you ever de-anon, all your subs will get an email about it as if it were just posted.

if you update multiple fics at once, ao3 will group the updates into one email.

to transfer a fic to a new ao3 account: make a new account, make the new account a co-author, remove the old account as co-author.

you cannot mention money changing hands for fic on ao3, ever. don’t say commissions. say a fic was requested if you must say anything. your fic can get taken down for this.

reply to comments or never complain about engagement in fandom.

per that: EVERY TIME YOU EDIT A COMMENT, THE AUTHOR GETS A NEW COPY OF YOUR COMMENT IN THEIR EMAIL. we can see all the edits. be aware.

tagging is both a warning and an enticement, do so accordingly. you really don’t need to tag things that fall outside that unless you want to.

on that note: please don’t do the “short fics for 300 different fandoms in one fic” thing. no one wants to scroll past that. i mean you can but it just makes it harder for people to find the thing you’ve written that they want to read.

if you are really bad at summaries just think of it as a movie tag line and don’t say you’re bad at summaries. don’t neg your own fic.

re all the questions i saw in replies: fic searches are people looking for specific fics. i don’t know what the fuck a placeholder fic is but these aren’t fanworks and you can’t post them. you can’t post discord links or rp requests or complaints about fandom. you can post fanart and meta essays. that’s allowed.

[cleanlenins]

“Read by Author” tag is not a tag to say that you proofread the fic. It is specifically for podfic, saying that the fic is read outloud by the author

Remember the Block and Mute feature. Block means that someone cannot interact with your works. Mute, however, means you will not see the person’s works in the search. If you don’t want to see fics by a specific author, mute them.

Basic html works in comments. If you want to add an image, use <img src=“URL”> with the image url replacing URL. Keep the quotation marks.

Comments are not for critique. Unless the author specifically asks for critique, you are a jerk if you start pointing out everything you dislike. It doesn’t matter how vile you think the content is. If you don’t like it, just back out without saying anything.

If you do not want a work attached to your account at all, you can Orphan it. When you Orphan a fic, you can no longer edit it or delete it. This cannot be undone. If you just want to be anonymous, use the Anonymous feature described above.

If you wish to make a collection of fic that includes all of the fic you have read, consider making a collection of your bookmarks instead. Not every author wants their work to be in a million collections, but you don’t have to ask permission to make a collection of bookmarks.

The “Inspired By” option is great if you draw inspiration from another author’s fic. And it helps give credit to other amazing fanfic writers.

Fic can be downloaded in many different ways. If you want to download a fic and use it like an ebook, go for the EPUB version. But all versions have their merits.

No fanfic author in existence is going to be upset that you made fanart.

[thefaultinourchickennuggets]

the bad thing about having unhealthy habits due to mental illness, is when you DO do something healthy style you can't brag about about it because then people will then know you've been doing it yucky style all along. Like you can't brag you changed your sheets or brushed your teeth because then ppl will be like oh did you not brush your teeth regularly before? Thats yucky disgusting! So you just gotta keep it to yourself. And be proud alone, I suppose.

[charlesoberonn]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[theslowesthnery]

when someone is completely fucking wrong about your blorbo but you don't want to argue about what basically boils down to opinions about shit that doesn't matter so you just sit there like

"that guy's wrong tho"

[theslowesthnery]

you get it

[cressidascowper]

#it's the fourth of fucking july 🫩

THE PITT — S02E03 "9:00 A.M."

[agnesandhilda]

if female top nudity weren't viewed as inherently sexually explicit. oh brother. I would be letting those puppies hang like you wouldn't believe

[agnesandhilda]

the thing is I would be okay with being viewed as sexually attractive while topless. like a shirtless cis man can be a considered a hunk beefcake eye candy etc but it's not by nature r-rated. usamerican society at large is able to understand that toplessness can be sexually appealing but is not in itself a sexual act when a man does it. if I could be just casually topless on a hot day or something without the little flashing light over my head saying think of the CHILDREN I would be getting minoan with it

[herpsandbirds]

GET ABSOLUTELY SHRIMPED!!!

[scribeherself]

sometimes I look at my friends and I am just overwhelmed by the sheer luck of it. the universe is so violently massive and terrifyingly empty, but somehow, against all odds, my brand of weird gravity pulled in your brand of weird gravity. we are just ghosts haunting the same corner of the internet, sharing a brain cell, and keeping each other tethered to the earth.

[animentality]

[scribeherself]

having a best friend who meets your level of freak is unmatched. you present them with the most unhinged, deeply buried thought from the depths of your psyche and instead of blinking blankly they just go "oh absolutely"—and I think that mutual brain rot like that is the highest form of intimacy actually.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[shirtsthatgohard]

[shirtsthatgohard]

i got spanish anon hate for this one btw

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[anarchopuppy]

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

[quietsphere]

Any good story needs an ending. Any good story needs an ending!! Any good story needs and ending!!! To make a point you need a period, not a comma!!!!!

[quasi-normalcy]

Every single person I know who did football in high school, without exception, has a chronic injury. Many regret what it's done to their knees and back, even major organs like the brain.

There is no serious legislative push to ban high school football.

[quasi-normalcy]

Also, like, if you want to talk about social pressure on minors to undertake activities that will result in regrettable, irreversible damage to their bodies:

No one, *ever*, tried to persuade me to transition.

My gym teacher tried to persuade me to try out for the football team almost every single day that I was in junior high.

[quasi-normalcy]

#i firmly believe that the reason why concussions and brain damage in general#are not taken nearly as seriously as they should be#is because of football#if we take concussions and brain trauma seriously then we have to acknowledge the risks that children are undertaking at even#high school level football#but we can't do that#because the kids need to play football in high school so they can play football in college so they can join the NFL#This time I'm really gonna queue it.

[vaspider]

Not a single one of my wife's fingers is completely straight. If you look at them closely -- which I have, many times, over the past 22 years -- you can see where they were broken, over and over, taped in place, and where she just kept fucking playing.

When I first met her, she used to joke about how her coach said, "I could get more than that out of a pig if I kicked it hard enough," and that was the nicest fucking thing he said. Two decades later, she's like, "Yeah, that man verbally and physically abused all of us for years."

There is at least one football game she played in high school that she simply doesn't remember, because she was a linebacker. She got a concussion. She got up and kept playing... or so she's told. She doesn't remember, because she had a fucking concussion and they let her keep playing.

I hate football so much. It ruined her back, her knees, fucked up her hands... everyone was so obsessed with how tall she was, how broad-shouldered. No one ever pushed her to transition, but I fucking wish someone had at least suggested it. That would have hurt her so much less than FUCKING FOOTBALL. Like, it would have been actually beneficial to her.

[mchug]

I heard that one of the actual reasons that organizations like the NFL have tried so hard to downplay CTE and other injuries like it is because they’re terrified that moms will refuse to let their children play football anymore and that entire massive industry will come collapsing down because of it.

[vaspider]

That fucking scans.