This Is Where I Scream About WHA Now

There are other things here too sometimes

[melonteee]

there's really nothing better than an author who wants their own character so carnally so bad like yeah I can see this guy being bred ig

[funshinebf]

he's right where he wants to be fr

[scrubglleycrubg]

WILDLY unsubtle stuff happening in wha kitchen

[the-interuniversal-geometer]

I fear he has bewitched me, body and soul

[uselesslilium]

I want more Beldaruit+Qifrey stuff that doesn't shy away from the tension between them.

Like. Beldaruit loves Qifrey. There's no question of this. Just as there's no question that Qifrey's life is undoubtedly better because Beldaruit took him in, and he obviously respects him a great deal. But Qifrey has never been able to fully trust Beldaruit, and for good reason.

Beldaruit believes that the benefits of the Pact and the Principles outweigh the harm they do. He believes that exceptions can be made, but as we see from his reaction to Custas, only up to a certain point. He did not become close friends with Vinnana, the Wise in Principles, by accident. As much as he's willing to bend the rules, there is a hard line he is not willing to cross, a limit that he tried to instill in both Qifrey and Coco for what they should seek out. He thought it was a good thing when Qifrey stopped looking for answers about himself. When he starts having doubts about Qifrey's intentions, he goes behind his back to try and lure Coco away from him, and even tells her all about Qifrey's nightmare backstory to convince her he isn't safe.

There's a reason why, when Qifrey thinks about who gave him the strength to keep going as a child, he thinks only of Olly. Notably, Olly also has doubts about Qifrey, but he handles them by talking to Qifrey directly and trying to have a conversation about it. He understood as a child that Qifrey giving up on his search was something to be worried about, not relieved. And Qifrey knows that Olly is someone who would accept him with all his secrets and baggage - he does not have that reassurance with Beldaruit. Rather, he knows that one of the reasons he was allowed to stay as an apprentice was because there was no sign of forbidden magic found on his body - if the Silverwood had been discovered back then, would Beldaruit still have taken him in?

Imagine having to keep such a huge secret about yourself from your parent. One that other people have been ostracized and lost their homes and livelihoods for after having it exposed. Your parent sympathizes with those people, sure, but they always affirm that such consequences are unavoidable. Necessary, even, for society to continue to function. And you have to keep going about every day knowing that you are also carrying that same secret, and that every ounce of care and affection they show you hinges on them not finding out. Sure, the possibility exists that you would be an exception. That they would love you enough to not care. And then they make another comment about how tragic it is that someone else was exposed for the very thing you're hiding, but the law is the law for a reason after all, and you just grit your teeth, stay silent, and let the gap widen between you a little further.

[ansierpien]

It was such a good read!

One thing that keeps me awake at night is that chapter 38 strongly insinuates that Beldaruit knows about Treefrey situation. Chapter 59 suggests that Beldaruit knows more about Qifrey's secrets that he lets on.

And I think we all agree that all of Beldaruit's cards are not on the table yet.

I do wonder if he wanted Qifrey to become his apprentice because he figured out the tree-situation early. Or maybe he figured out what happened to Qifrey after Qifrey was already living in the Great Hall. In any case he never talked about this with Qifrey.

As you said, Qifrey was allowed to become a witch because there was no sign of forbidden magic on his body. Beldaruit admitting, even to Qifrey only, that he knows the truth would only show more hypocrisy and problems Witch Society has.

And yet when Coco is hurt, Qifrey goes straight to Beldaruit. He asks Beldaruit to have an eye on her. After Easthies' accident during Siver Eve arc, Beldaruit wonders where Qifrey is because Beldaruit knows he can rely on him.

Like. They care for each other. They respect each other. They seem to understand each other perfectly and at the same time they seem to not understand each other at all. I need more Qifrey-Beldaruit moments chdkfbjdbdkddnjddh

[uselesslilium]

Ah yes, the 'Bel already knows about the tree' theory... I can't deny that the hints are there, but I always hope it isn't true. If he knows that Qifrey's life is on the line and is still framing his search for answers as a dangerous thing that should be discouraged, I'd be really upset with him lmao. Although considering that he's so staunchly against mixing magic and healing that he won't even let Riliphin learn how to make a poultice for his bedsores, it would be in character for him to want Qifrey to give up on finding a cure for himself in favor of just continuing to manage his condition quietly. :') Wonder if he'd still feel that way if he knew the exact lengths Qifrey has to go to in order to stay alive...

That said, I do think it's pretty unlikely for him to have known from the start. Qifrey is, as far as we know, the first attempt at this specific kind of forbidden magic - he slipped under everyone's radar because no one knew it was possible, and so didn't know what kind of signs to look for. Bel was also fairly young when he took Qifrey in and wasn't a Wise yet, so it seems like a stretch that he would have just guessed 'Silverwood parasite' off the bat. Seems more likely to be something he pieced together over their many years of living together, particularly after it fully sprouted at the Tower of Tomes and Qifrey had to start worrying about it being an on-going problem.

Also I feel like it's exactly because Bel and Qifrey largely understand each other that they can't fully trust each other lmao. They both know that where the other's priorities and exceptions lie, and they know where they agree and disagree on those things, so when they clash they choose to act around one another rather than try to talk and compromise.

[lunarharp]

Very important conferences.

[vaguely-concerned]

in agott's defense what WAS she supposed to do after this? not fall inconsolably and indelibly in love with coco forever? unrealistic impossible and infeasible honestly

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Beldaruit taking in traumatized apprentices with opposite responses to their trauma so it's just,

Beldaruit to Qifrey: Please I beg of you sit still for two minutes and stop finding a hundred way to act out.

Beldaruit 15 to 20 years later very gently poking Riliphin with a stick: You know it actually might be good for you to act out a little bit.

[garaks-gay-garderobe]

ok so I read the manga.........

[jaynovz]

I NEED to see adult Olly cry in the manga SO BAD that it is a physical sensation that lives in my body is the thing.

[isokuma]

Olruggio: those kids are Qifrey's apprentices, not mine

Also Olruggio:

[piracytheorist]

[scrubglleycrubg]

Shirahama writes characters like no one else. She put crack in those guys. Like all of them. How did she do that?? There’s like 100 of them.

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

“oooh i need junji ito to write me an essay” okay so youre a little baby so youre a little baby waby who needs mommys help

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

not junji ito. where did he come from. this is supposed to say chatgpt

[kla1991]

[queefre]

I love Beldaruit for a million reasons but I love his understanding of Qifrey and Olruggio the most. He knows damn well Qifrey's chance of survival triples as long as Olruggio is around so he just does his best to make sure the two of them are together as much as possible lmao. Assigning Olruggio to Qifrey's atelier was so fuckin corrupt but I know for fact he was hoping to extend Qifrey's lifespan by doing so

[arataka-reigen]

since parents seem to fuck off to nowhere after a child chooses their master, is Qifrey, as the sole adult in these girls lives, responsible for the birds and the bees talk?

[glamaphonic]

given that apprentices are v much apprentices throughout the entirety of puberty absolutely it is the master's responsibility and Coco, Tetia, Richeh, and Agott are unfortunately out in the sticks with two adult virgins in a society that forbids the learning of biology. incredible times will be had.

[myuminji]

happy birthday agott! 💜💜