- I’m not dead, but inactive -
I just saw the new W2H2 trailer and remembered that I had this account and I felt bad for leaving without saying anything - which happened kinda unnoticed.
And I started to worry someone would think I might be dead or else (which is something I would come up with when I see someone else vanishing without explanation)
- Mental health trigger warning below (TLDR at end) -
Okay, I don’t wanna drag this too long and just explain what happened:
I left Tumblr. I stumbled into a life crisis which led to a major clinical depression. I went to the hospital, took (and still am taking) medication, I’m seeing a therapist, had to stop my studies temporarily because of suicidal thoughts and because I wasn’t fucking able to do anything anymore, and I’m basically doing all that shit that comes with that fucking disease.
There were a couple of reasons which led to this which I don’t need and don’t want to get into. All I wanna tell is that, besides other relevant issues, I met the wrong people who distorted my perception of how life works and about myself which, combined, led to self-loathing, confusion and anger which I let out on myself. Tumblr fed those thoughts a bit, too. Some posts on my news feed hit me a bit hard which I processed unconsciously. I realised Tumblr wasn’t helping my situation and I had to leave asap. (I kinda begin to understand when people say Tumblr is a hell-site.)
Point is, this blog is inactive and it doesn’t look like I’m gonna come back. Maybe after all of this is over and I’m back on my feet. But don’t count on it. My decision will probably be as impulsive as back then when I left.
All I can say is that I’m doing much better than last year. I will probably remove my medication within the next 6 months as well if everything goes well.
I know some people here who have similar issues. I really hope you take care of yourself and get through this. I dunno what you are going through, I just know the symptoms and not what led to these symptoms and I will probably never fully understand. But understand that you are a warrior, you are fighting for your life everyday and that you are probably much stronger than most people. You’re facing your problems - most people don’t do that.
Stay safe.
- Trigger warning END -
TLDR;
I got into a major depression. I figured that, besides many other things, Tumblr was part of the problem and was making it worse, so I had to leave. Will probably not come back.
(I’m not deleting my blog. I’m kinda proud of the cosplays I made and I want them to be able for others to see.)
