its been a long time since i've logged into tumblr but i've decided to turn this page into a casual account, i will still be a bts centred page but i'll frequently reblog and engage in non bts topics. please feel free to unfollow me if you'd like.
currently, i don't know whether i will keep writing or updating my works. i will not be taking them down or archiving them, they will still be up for you all to read i just won't be updating or putting out new works for a long time. i'm sorry to the few people who have been looking forward to updates : i just don't have that kind of schedule or energy to continue writing fanfics anymore.
i've had a lot of fun on this account and it just doesn't feel right for me to delete this page or delete my works but i hope you can understand that this was long overdue.
thank you for all the love you've given me as a writer :) i love you guys <3
i keep thinking about the scene in safe in your skin where he kisses her on the cheek and then on her forehead... would you mind writing aftercare with carmy? im so enamoured with how you write sweet boy carmen :')) im the đź«‚ anon btw
i love that scene! 🥺 a softie in denial fr
here’s a much needed fluffy headcannon for you sweet friend <3
i imagine carmen just completely collapsing after sex, burying his head into the reader’s neck, hips slightly stuttering as he tries to remain as close as possible.
his hands smooth up her sides, grasping at the dewy skin, finding the strength to sit up and deeply kiss the tired girl, the intensity and heat of his lips conveying all he feels too tired to say. she moans, tapping his chest as a signal to pull out. he slips out of her, trying to keep from making a mess all over the duvet.
“stay right there,” he softly commands, rubbing her thigh, standing and walking to the bathroom. she watches as he comes back with a damp washcloth, coming in between her legs and beginning to gently clean her off. it’s warm, and she shivers at the sensation, her nerves still tingling from moments previous.
his eyes glance up to her, “this okay, baby?” thumb soothingly rubbing circles into her leg. she nods, closing her eyes, relaxing at his touch. carmy finishes cleaning her, then pulls away, standing to toss the washcloth in the laundry bin. he turns to retrieve them water from the kitchen when he feels a hand softly grab his arm.
“where are you going?” she asks in the sweetest voice he thinks he’s ever heard, drowsy eyes scanning his face.
“you want some water?” he softly returns, bringing a hand to card through her hair, smoothing it down to the side of her neck. she leans into the gentle touches with a mew.
“mhm,” she nods and brings his fingers to her mouth, kissing over the tattooed knuckles. his heart pounds at the simple action. “can i get some clothes?” she asks.
“you already know you can,” tone gentle, finger brushing over her lips. he leans forward to capture them in a quick kiss, then stands again. “i’ll be right back,” he leaves her with and walks to the kitchen.
upon returning, he finds her at his dresser drawer, pulling out an oversized black shirt, one that had a band on it and a small hole in the side. he watches as she slips it over her head, the hem falling around her thighs and concealing her nudity.
“drink,” he asserts, handing the glass to her, hand coming to rest on her hip. she finishes the water and sets it down on the nightstand, unexpectedly jumping up into carmy’s arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. he lets out a surprised laugh, hands coming to her upper thighs to support her. she hugs him close to her, peppering kisses along his cheek.
“can we watch a movie tonight?” her tone sweet, hopeful. his hand moves up, squeezing the upper curve of her thigh. smiling at her small gasp, scanning her face, an overwhelming surge of emotion overwhelming him. he had never been more confident of a person before meeting her.
“i love you,” carmy whispers, watching her expression go softer. the girl leans in and presses her lips against his, arms circling around his neck.
“i love you,” she returns in between kisses, “so much, carm,” grip tightening around him, giving him a few deep kisses before their lips separate.
“let’s go watch a movie,” he says, beginning to walk to living room, holding her closer.
he feels a warmth in his chest, his face, almost as if there were a light shining through his skin.
Other people have talked about it before but genuinely I'm so tired of seeing history rewritten wrt Queerness in India. Seems like once the dust settled on 377 people (including scholars!) want to act like homophobia and transphobia was never an "Indian problem" to begin with.
Section 377 which criminalised any sexual activity "against the order of nature" (and has since been taken down in 2018) was introduced by the British government when they colonised India. Yes, that is true.
There are depictions of queerness (and things that can be stretched to be interpreted as queer) in Hindu mythology and in a few (FEW, very few) temples. This is also true.
However scholars looking to sound progressive by co-opting the language of post-colonialism have created a living myth of an India that was naturally welcome to queer people, was consequitively corrupted by the Naturally Conservative British People, and has fought as some unified front of Indian Society (against who?) to get the progressiveness back and ridding our glorious country of the Western Evil of Section 377. And let me just include that a lot of these scholars are either upper caste Hindus in Indian universities or non-resident Indians/ people of Indian descent in other nations who have been severely out of touch with the struggles at home.
These kind of perspectives completely erase 1) how very conservative, queerphobic (for lack of a better word), and misogynistic Indian society at large and Hindu values in particular still are and 2) the actual struggle of queer people to get the rights we have today and the ones we are still fighting tooth and nail for.
It seems to be a perspective that happily wishes to forget uncountable cases of conversion therapy, conversion rape, honour killings, and abuse in the name of our "sanskar" (values that are v specifically culturally lifted out of Hindu thought and texts). It happily forgets that depictions of goddesses exist in this culture right alongside tales of grave violence to women who step out of line - these depictions aren't "representation". Vishnu being born in a particular incarnation as a woman is not trans rep. The Hijra community being considered "auspicious" is not trans rep, that's a highly marginalised group that is spurned and locked out of employment and othered away from communities at all times except when they are used tokenistically to assure ourselves that they bring with them some sort of higher blessings. Meanwhile all the good from the NALSA Judgement (like the very basic right of trans people to self identification) has been stripped away by the Trans Act.
Hinduism is not a beacon of progressiveness. And with Hindutva and authoritarianism on the rise in our country this is a very dangerous perspective to align oneself with. Hatred for queerness, hatred for women with agency, hatred for anything that escapes the norms of caste and class - these aren't External British Evils that we as some vague idea of 'Indians' have gotten together to bravely defeat. These were always an awful part of our culturally Hindu (and nominally secular) society and they continue to be a part of it. It's not in the past. The struggle is still here and it was always queer people, dalits, women, and other marginalised groups leading liberation movements against great backlash from our fellow citizens.
Don't erase those struggles and don't erase the pervasiveness of this bigotry as it still exists today. A nationalistic rewriting of history that gives you something to be proud of is not worth losing these fights all over again. It is certainly not worth acting like we were always safe here.
title: three tangerines
pairing: yoongi x reader
rating/genre: m ; smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au
summary: throughout high school, you sometimes caught glimpses of your brother’s older friends: some of them were sweet, some of them were smart. but the one closest to him? that guy was a total f*ckboy from day one. after a foray of horrid relationships spanning years - ending with one that broke up with you for an alarming reason - you needed advice on what the hell you were doing wrong… and this wasn’t a conversation for anyone sweet or smart. (loosely based off one part of “the window” by silvershine)
warnings: pov switch (just one), age gap implied, cursing, dirty talk, choking, hair pulling, thigh riding, oral (m/f rec), sl*t/wh*re mentions, spanking, size kink, hand kink, pussy slapping, penetration, protected sex, rough sex, fingering, breast play, slight ass play, daechwita yoongi should be a warning in itself.. i think that’s it? he keeps the chains on so there’s that, too lmao
note: this is a super late birthday present for the wonderful @sketchguk​ <3 ily, teresa and i hope you have fun with this one lololol. and thank you endlessly to @taesinferno​ @chateautae​ and @lavienjin for being angel betas! you all mean the world to me and you know i got you if you need anything in return.
note 2: ALSO.. thank you all so much for the level of interest bc that taglist was popping. i did not expect that turnout (or to laugh so much at all of your answers and screams LOL) so you gave me incredible motivation to keep writing. i’m also trying something new which you will see if you get to the end. seriously, ty ty!Â
total word count: 12k
drop date: november 16th, 2021, 7:17pm est
20/11/2021 update: also posted on ao3Â
04/01/2022 update: ⇥ masterlist
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When Yoongi told you he would be there if you needed anything, this isn’t what he had in mind.
“My evidence—such as it is—is almost always intimate. I feel this—do you? I am struck by this thought—are you?”
— Zadie Smith, from her foreword to Feel Free: Essays
“But in the end, stories are about one person saying to another: This is the way it feels to me. Can you understand what I’m saying? Does it feel this way to you?”
— Kazuo Ishiguro, from his Nobel prize acceptance speech
“You read something which you thought only happened to you, and you discover that it happened 100 years ago to Dostoyevsky. This is a very great liberation for the suffering, struggling person, who always thinks that he is alone. This is why art is important. Art would not be important if life were not important, and life is important.”
— James Baldwin, from an interview featured in Conversations With James Baldwin
halloween, phoebe bridgers | emily palermo | mommy issues: unlearning inherited pain, joan tierney | the last days of judas iscariot, stephen adly guirgis | nobody, mitski | georges bataille | love as an act of merciful conquer, silas denver melvin | gilead, marilynne robinson | giovanni’s room, james baldwin
