it's a semi-true story (believe it or not)

Jenny, 28, she/they but has cool uncle vibes (and cool uncle fashion sense) i drink everything out of my souvenir margaritaville blender cup

[scientistman]

[microsff]

Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[quietwingsinthesky]

did i tell you guys i failed at being sexually harassed at work today?

[quietwingsinthesky]

okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”

and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!

his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.

So I Answered It.

and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-

i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.

anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.

[i-speak-graffiti]

🫵 HEROES in the tags

[himynameis4]

[loveridden1999]

i am not going to lie i quite enjoy talking to myself out loud like a weirdo

[tinybed]

[comealongphil]

dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?

[punkrorschach]

actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce

[tuherrus]

you don't even have a dog

[afraid-of-woodpeckers]

my grandfather was talking to me about a book he read on how politicians gave control to rich people and it fucked america and he was like "oh yeah this reminded me of a video I watched. It was Robert Reich. Do you know who Robert Reich is? He was clinton's secretary of labor" and I just nodded silently because I didn't know how to explain to my grandpa that yes I know who Robert Reich is. I watch his son psychologically torment improv comedians

[makesomenoise]

🌈

[stealingpotatoes]

happy pride month <3

(commission info // tip jar!)

[the-semicolonoscopy]

It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.

[the-semicolonoscopy]

Time for the annual Pride Month reblog of Freddie Mercury and his fabulous cats!

[ghirahimbo]

"Idiots," I say, referring to the characters I have spent hundreds of my real life hours contemplating.

[mevil]

[teradrama-deactivated20260513]

"the best way to screw jkr over is by making her characters queer!" actually. The best way to screw jkr over is to stop engaging with the property she still profits off of and read a different fucking book

[teradrama-deactivated20260513]

we're 10 days away from the anniversary of this post breaking my blog, so reblogs are back on! maybe I can get a new blocklist out of this

[rylandsgrace]

The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers

[leggywormy]

It's end of May, yall know what that means

[porcelain-rob0t]

the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket

[derryderrydown]

Excuse me while I look something up...

1.4 litres????

[politenotice]

[interestingmistakes]

[gebraheel]

Went with my partner to see if we could pick one up today.

Partner: "Do you have any of the 48oz drinks?" Dunker: "Huh?" Me: "The bucket drink" Dunker: "Oh nah, we sold out of those last week." I'm SORRY?! THEY CAME OUT LAST WEEK!