New way to hold Batman just dropped
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@secretidentie
New way to hold Batman just dropped
Me when the voices (my mom) tells me I should learn to drive
* in a shady probably haunted wearhouse outside gotham*
Bruce: since the criminals used magic to make themselves practically untraceable by regular means, I've called in an expert see if we can't locate them from their last known location. He should've been here by now
Constantine walks in looking like he just fell out of a tree
Constantine: 'ello Bats. Cheerful as ever
Bruce: *bat-grumble*
Jason: you can't be serious
Dick: just trust the process Jay
Jason: there's no way this is going to work
Tim: really? You came back from the dead but you don't believe in magic
Jason: no I believe in magic I just don't believe in that guy
Constantine: hey I'll have you know I'm very proficient in wha' I do
Jason: ugh and he's British. You've got to be kidding me
Babs: Hey the British are people too sometimes
Bruce: Everyone quiet. Constantine, can you do something about this or not
Constantine: 'course luv, simple spell. Just get me a marker and I'll make quick work of it
Steph: will this work? (hands him a pack of glitter metallic paint pen)
Tim: why do you have that?
Steph: vandalism♡
Constantine: Perfect
Constantine: now I just need to lie down here. You lot get in a circle and hush
Jason: do we have to hold hands or-
Damian: hush
Jason: I'm not talking to-
Constantine: hush
Jason: I'm just asking a-
Everyone: HUSH
Jason: ALRIGHT JEEZ
*silence*
....
.......
...................
Tim: So how long is this gonna take exactly coz i kinda have pla-
Constantine: just give it a bloody minute
.....
........
Jason: I knew the British weren't real peop----
......
........
Constantine relocating his shoulder: I know where they are
Batman who's just hooked up with superman a few times after years of mutual pining and then panic-ghosts him for a week trying to process wtf just happened.
When he finally gets his shit together he heads over to metropolis to talk about it, get a sense of where Kal's mind is and if he's interested in more (or at least if he wants to do that again). But just as he's about to approach Bruce spots him flying into a random apartment in the middle of the night.
After a bit more casual stalking Bruce finds out superman repeatedly spends the night at this same apartment instead of going back to the fortress. He also discovers that this apartment belongs Clark Kent, the one reporter famous for having multiple private interviews with superman when no one else has managed more then a quote. They've had a well documented public relationship even though they refuse to make any public appearances together or clarify what the nature of that relationship actually is.
It really shouldn't come as a surprise that superman has found someone else to sleep with while Bruce was unavailable. He wasn't upset. It's not like they were in a relationship. Bruce should have known someone like Kal doesn't stay on the market for long. He's not mad but he does want to know more about this Clark.
He knows its not technically his business but if he's losing his one shot at even another hookup with Kal he has to know who he's losing it to. (not that he's jealous or anything). So he invites Clark for a private interview with Bruce Wayne to learn more about him. Aside from boring things like stability, what could this man provide that he couldn't. Why would Kal choose this random civilian over him.Unfortunately pretty early into the interview bruce gets his answer.
After just a few minutes of conversation he realizes fuuuck this guy is perfect.
Dammit! he's falling for the competition
Stupid Clark with his stupid glasses and his stupid heart of gold and his stupid country twang. No wonder Kal wants this guy, he's fucking amazing.
The "Clark listens to Bruce's heartbeat in the background to make sure he's safe" headcannon means so much more to me when I think of the fact that pa kent died of a heart attack.
Not only was it the first big loss he's faced it's the one death he couldn't have predicted and couldn't do anything about and it haunts him. Considering bruce is at incredibly high risk, he's probably a bit paranoid about it and fusses over bruce not taking care of himself, especially as they get older. And bruce would dismiss his concern, attributing it to Clark's doting nature.
Also thinking about how bruce actually did have a mild heart attack in batman beyond
The older batkids refusing to accept that Bruce and Uncle Clark finally dating means they're also having sex now.
Dick: Yeah, I think I'll be joining them on their trip to Seychelles. Sounds real fucking nice right now. Some ocean and sun after that case from hell.
Wally: Dude, I think they'll probably want some alone time. They've been on a mission for over a week with like six other people and no privacy.
Dick: Why would they want alone time?
Wally: I mean… You do know…
Dick: No, I dare you. Tell me, what would they want alone time?
——————————
Jason: Yeah, I haven't seen him in a while. Got a bad injury that he couldn't shake off. Old age and shit.
Diana: I don't recall many times I've seen Bruce take time off willingly. Remember that pregnancy scare they had back in June?
Jason: Who?
Diana: Bruce.
Jason: Bruce, who? How do these two correlate?
Diana: His pregnancy scare? Back in June? He was feeling off, incredibly nauseous, and overstimulated. He and Kal had to go to the Fortress for a couple of days because they thought Bruce was pregnant, but he wasn't.
Jason: No, he didn't. He can't. He couldn't.
Diana: Jason, you do know your father and Kal copulate, right?
Jason: Oh my god, no. Please stop.
the only reason it's just the older kids is because the younger ones still live at the manor and have unfortunately had too many close encounters to live in denial
I haven't drawn in a few years but this week I really wanted to do a superman doodle.
Originally it was supposed to be superman in that one Marilyn Monroe pose but he ended up looking too sad and wistful for that (details on A6 paper are impossible lol). And don't get me started on the sorcery I had to do to color this with oil pastels.
Overall, it's still fun tho. Maybe I'll do more doodles in the future
And Happy Belated Superman Day:)
Or whatever he said....
Whenever we talk about Clark's kryptonian life span in relation to superbat we always take the angle of bruce being his first love that he out lives
An au I've been thinking of instead is one where superman has been alive for 105 years.
20 years since Lois died (and the clark kent identity along with her) , clark is still living mostly isolated in the fortress. It's almost been long enough for him to start a new identity. He had been relying on grey hair dye, his baggy clothes and his glasses to pass for elderly at the tail-end of his old life but really he could probably still pass for forties, maybe late thirties if he was pushing it. But what's the point really? To give himself something to loose again? He doesn't know if he can put himself though that a 2nd time, losing everyone he loves
15 years since batman has been on the scene in gotham and just over 3 since they've met. The few times they've spoken over the years were closest thing Clark's had to being treated normally in years. it felt good not being seen as a god even just for 10 seconds. He looks forward to they're interactions, excitement he sometimes forgets to hide, giddy in a way he wasn't use to anymore
Until finally they had a case together.
One that takes weeks on end, requiring stake outs, late night brainstorming, and even a bit of undercover work at a gala. By the end of it, Clark knows there's something brewing between them, atleast on his side. He's cautious about what that could mean, the inevitable future scarier then ever having seen it play out once before but his optimism rears it's head leaving barely any room for anything else after all this time.
At the same time bruce is fighting his own demons. It was hard to let himself be loved after all this time alone. To believe someone would love him, let alone Kal was... inconceivable. He wasn't sure if he could come to terms with it all just yet. What did it mean for him to love a being that has loved before and will love many more times after he is gone. Someone who's lived so much more life than him, more experienced and more mature. How would he measure to all those loves?
Clark begs asks Zatanna for a glamour spell. At first, she assumes it's for disguise purposes, so it surprises her when he specifically requests to look older.
"Humans age," was Clark's only explanation.
Zatanna gives him a watch. It looks simple, lovingly used, something that could be a century old. Once he puts it on, its features shift just a little; the band changes to a worn, dark leather; the clock face becomes a little more modern, the numbers morph from Roman numerals to Arabic as the face turns from withered brown to aged white. Clark swears quietly to himself that he'd seen Pa wear a watch like this.
"Just turn it forward to look older, and backwards to look younger," Zatanna explains. "Five minutes is one year, and that's human years, so be careful. And press the knob down three times to reset."
"Thank you," Clark says, before bidding her farewell.
He goes back to his apartment first. It doesn't see much use anymore, but he'd insisted on keeping something tying him to Metropolis. Flicking the bathroom light on, Clark peers at himself in the mirror for a moment.
Familiar discomfort pinches in his gut. The man staring back could still be shaking off the softness of youth, looking at home on a college campus. He allows the feeling to settle, then reaches for the watch.
If five minutes was a year, then Clark would need to turn it at least two and a half hours forward. Once done, he takes a breath, and looks back at the mirror.
And sees himself.
Clark Kent, with fifty three years of life brimming in his new wrinkles, his receding hairline, his stripes of gray running from his temples. His face had sunken, somewhat, the skin looser to show the true sharpness of his cheeks.
He adores the permanent laugh lines. He'd never managed a single wrinkle before, proof of his life of joys and fears and experiences. He loves the faint spots dotting his face, hands, arms. He loves the loose skin on his neck, just above his Adam's apple and under his jaw. He has a double chin, now.
A strong rightness settles inside him as he pokes at new pockets of flab across his body.
He can't wait to show Bruce.
In fact, he doesn't wait.
Bruce doesn't turn his way just yet when Clark touches down in the Cave, too focused on the report he types out at speed. Clark waits, crossing his legs midair and floats quietly.
When Bruce finally finishes and saves the file, he turns to ask Clark what he needs. His words halt in his throat, taking in the man who is definitely Clark Kent, but different from the one he saw this morning. Not just physically, either, having visibly aged despite his biology decreeing otherwise. He's... happier?
Clark beams. "We match," he says, pointing to the grey at his temples.
With striking clarity, Bruce suddenly understands why Clark finds an old man like himself attractive. You're not old, he'd say, you're mature.
As gorgeous as Clark always is... this is different. He's beautiful. Most of it, Bruce realizes, comes from the joy and ease with which he holds himself. Had Clark been unhappy with his appearance before? Had Bruce not noticed?
Bruce lets his eyes drag up and down Clark's form, puts just a hint of Brucie in his smirk. "Well well," he says. "Come here often?"
The laugh lines deepen exquisitely as Clark bellows out his cheer.
something about this feels so superbat to me
A superbat dynamic I never see (for probably obvious reasons) is petty exes!superbat
I just think with how often they blow up at each other in cannon, there'd probably be a point, maybe early in their relationship, where they break up over something stupid like bruce avoiding emotions and after two weeks of no contact they see each other again and they are both NOT over it.
Bruce walks into a gala with supermodels all over him? Superman coincidentally has to evacuate the building for a "routine search"
Clark is a little passive aggressive in his article on the gala? Bruce invites Lois lane for a "private interview" over dinner to "clear things up"
Bruce has another public date planned? That's actually the night superman schedules an emergency league meeting to discuss the details of a mission they're only doing next month
Clark invites someone over to his place instead? By the next morning bruce owns his building just to turn off the hot water
The pettiness escalates with neither of them backing down or admitting they want to get back together, which only works to fuel their mutual jealousy, pettiness and sexual tension
Imagining Jason who just clawed himself out of his grave, who's incoherent, subconsciously digging up Willis and Catherine Todd out of their graves and looking for bruce because his instincts tell him to find his parents
So when Talia finds him he's cuddling between two corpses that have long rotted away and repeatedly calling for batman in a voice that's clearly long forgotten the meaning of those words
Bruce stalking local journalist Clark Kent not because he's superman, not because he's in love with him but simply because he HAS to know the guys work out routine
Clark panics when batman catches him spying on his rogues and literally restrain him with one hand, begging batman to hear him out while he explained why he should be allowed to do a story in gotham and all bruce can think is "why is this man so strong??"
You mean to tell him this man with a desk job who's chasing him down for a quote is not only able to keep up with batman running speed but is not even winded?? That he's just able to lift 2000 pounds clean off the ground like it's NOTHING? That he has like negative 5% body fat and he's never even owned so much as a gym membership?? And Bruce is supposed to act like that's NORMAL????
No. Definitely not. What are they feeding people in Kansas? And more importantly, where can he get some?
Due to Bruce and Clark's close relationship and their obvious attraction to each other, when they call each other "partners" everyone (from the league to their families) assume they're dating.
The two of them are unaware of this for months until a JL member asks them for relationship advice because they've "been together for so long" and are shocked when the other doesn't deny anything so they l just go along with it. Clark just assumes Bruce must have asked him to be his boyfriend either as Brucie so he didn't take it seriously or in such a batman way that Clark hadn't picked up on it. Bruce just assumes he was concussed that week.
At first they're both extatic that they're in a relationship with each other but then they get hit with the feeling of "Shit I've been a horrible boyfriend" and set out to fix it. Both try to figure out everything they can about the rules of their relationship from the other, learn everything they can about their boyfriend and reach milestones that people who've been dating that long usually reach much sooner like their first kiss, without being too obvious or acting too guilty for not doing it sooner.
They both get so caught up in trying to right their wrongs and not get caught that they don't even realize the other is equally clueless.
"Read"
It has been 3 and a half hours and Clark had left him on read.
So he'd seen the photo....
The photo bruce took of himself after his workout when he thought he looked his best. In the batcave's showers, because after a thorough search, he concluded it had the most flattering lighting in the house. The photo he awkwardly retook, trying to find the best pose, trying to figure out how much was too much, make it look effortless yet charming, trying to live up to his playboy reputation.
The photo Bruce had hesitated for a good 5 minutes on, his thumb less than an inch from the send button, inspecting for what felt like the 100th time if it was the best one before closing his eyes and sending, thinking it would be a good surprise for their 1yr anniversary.
.....he'd seen the photo and left him on read.
Which means Clark hated it and probably hated him and was going to break up with him tonight and bruce would die alone. All because he wanted to be a bit risqué. "It would be fine, Clark will like it" he'd told himself. He could just image the look on Clark's face right now
----------
Clark looked at the crumbled up shards of glass and aluminum in his hand that used to be his phone. His face was flushed a deep red and he could barely get his brain back online again
He tried to get his face and eyes back to a normal color as he mentally replayed the image that just blessed his screen. Not exactly what he expected to see at 9 in the morning but he definitely wasn't complaining. It was their anniversary after all
He had to tell bruce how perfect he was, how lucky he is to have him, how....
oh, right. He didn't have a phone anymore. Guess he got a bit carried away
That's okay. Clark could wait. It was only a few hours. He could wait just a few hours until he was off work so he could thank bruce properly and in person. His heart hammered in his chest just thinking of tonight.
In the mean time he just had to try focusing on "work appropriate" subject matter. It's not like bruce will disappear
---------
Bruce had to disappear. He has to start a new life immediately in a foreign country where no one will recognize him.
How is he supposed to look anyone he knows in the eye after his boyfriend of a year was so disgusted by him that he couldn't even form a reply? After Clark dumps him tonight how is he supposed to tell his incredibly nosey kids what happened? "Sorry superman is nolonger your step father due to my lack of sexual appeal" Nope. He simply had to jump of the Gotham bridge. His heart hammered in his chest just thinking of tonight.
Ugh as if Nightwing isn’t reading hard core hurt/comfort on ao3 then crying about it
dick is a fanfic.net/LiveJournal kid who's only just reentering fandom spaces now as an adult and is like "what is this AO3 you speak of?"
As for all the people asking about Jason, he's an active fic author who updates much faster than should be humanly possible or just fully disappears and comes back like "oh sorry I haven't updated I was dead lol". He's just tramatized by all the hurt no comfort fics that hit too close to home and the ao3 curse beating his ass every 3-5 business days.