Holy Fucking Shit

I'm 23 and mostly just reblog random bullshit. Profile picture by haruka291.tumblr.com All my homies hate AI!

[beemovieerotica]

[egberts]

"forgor" did irreversible damage didn't it

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

yeag

[halondrus]

oh me? I lost my penis when I ignored the "Don't touch the machinery" sign. you know how it is

[halondrus]

you all hate me and my penis. I mean penisnt

[halondrus]

I made the mistake of looking at this while taking an order over the headset at work and started laughing really hard and had to gather myself for a second and my coworkers kept trying to look at my phone to see what I was laughing at

[halondrus]

nearly ran a redlight thinking about >penis ripped off by penis gnomes on my way home from work

[extrafabulouscomics]

[knxfesck]

that's right.

[anphivenas]

How do i get out of this

[anphivenas]

[rulerofpurple]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[atlinmerrick]

I literally said, "Are you kidding me?" IN THE GASPED ADMIRING WAY.

[importantcatpics]

[serunie]

never change, Saeko

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 29

[papayajuan2019]

in of body experience

[gayrobot9000]

LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT

[gayrobot9000]

i'm a girl now

[flareonfloof]

flooby vaporeon. if you even care.

[flareonfloof]

btw.

[flareonfloof]

flooby vaporeon is having a rough time. give flooby vaporeon some well wishes

[lunnefisk]

[lunnefisk]

BOSS EATS WET FOOD MINE GOES CRUNCH

SO I POST CATS NOT JUST ON LUNCH

[free-my-mindd]

[wyrm-boy]

[importantpics]

[hotvampireadjacent]

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

[littlemisspipebomb]

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

[baronfulmen]

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.