Seduce Me With Stories

Caitlyn. 26. USA.

[hhawkeye]

this post on reddit fucking killed me the other day

[kuttithevangu]

Honestly the mere fact that some people refer to Daddy Long Legs as “harvestmen” is creepier than 90% of all deliberately created horror but like the worst part is that the alternative is calling them Daddy Long Legs

[pipistrellus]

#WHAT ARE THEY HARVESTING #I AM HAUNTED AND VEXED

[apinchofsanity]

They are harvesting our sorrows

[sweaterweathercub]

True harvestmen, and not cellar spiders which are the other Daddy Long Legs, are truly omnivorous- known to eat everything from spiders, to fecal matter, to leaves and fungus… But one of the singularly most interesting habits of a particular European species is their almost symbiotic relationship with beehives– particularly man-made beehives. When a bee dies inside the hives, workers will remove the the corpse to just outside the hive just before dark. And the harvestmen? Well, they live up to their name.

[feynites]

So what you’re saying is that they are the grim reaper for bees.

[morrithal]

The grim beeper

[freakshows199]

“The grim beeper” 😂🤣

[jessaerys]

do kids these days still say click. i think they might say "tap". girl help my technological language is dated

[jessaerys]

50 years from now in going to be like click on that link and my grandkids are going to be like 🙄 yes i will """"click""""" on this meta neurodownload grandma 🙄🙄🥺

[quasi-normalcy]

The strangest dream that I ever had was where I was talking to Strax the Sontaran from Doctor Who and he claimed that he had gotten into Christianity in a big way because he thought that it was "admirably cunning of humanity to lure their God down to Earth in a mortal body so that they could DESTROY HIM!"

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

I want you to know that I read this in his voice and it was the funniest thing I've seen all week.

[quasi-normalcy]

I hope that you also imagined him pumping his fist in VICTORIOUS JUBILATION

[frodo-sam]

Anya Taylor-Joy as Sandie in LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (2021) dir. Edgar Wright

[frogeye-pierce]

She is rash

She is unrepentant

From the book “The Best of LIFE (magazine)” 1975

[only-tiktoks]

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

[nerdygaymormon]

[elodieunderglass]

“Them/their hills”

[angel-macabre]

“jealousy is so disgusting” “anger is so toxic” did u know? these are emotions every human has

[cpt-glasses]

I’ve always been a fan of an analogy I heard once. Your emotions are like one of the lights on your car’s dash. When one of them turns on, it means you need to check under the hood and fix them. It’s not bad that the light turned on, per se, and it doesn’t always mean something is broken. But what IS toxic, dangerous, and likely to break something, is when you let that light stay on, pretending it’s normal, until that braking fluid finally fails and you crash into someone, or your engine fails completely.

Feel jealous. Feel anger. 

Just don’t let it fester. You need to look inside of yourself, find out why you’re feeling the way you are, and bring yourself to a satisfied, stable state of mind. You can look at philosophy, meditation/introspection, religion, or actual therapy, or at least talking to someone about it. You’ll find you’re much more content and happy when you do something about those feelings, and come to some sort of conclusion or resolution.

[mistersaturn123]

That is a  wonderful way of looking at it, thankyou. Makes me feel better about myself when I DO feel that way.

[toskarin]

I'm sorry I didn't answer your call, but robocallers spoofing numbers have rendered unknown phone numbers completely unreliable to answer, and I'm sorry I didn't see your text, but spoofed numbers sending links with viruses in them have made sms just as bad as (if not worse than) email before good spam filtering

[toskarin]

if you want to get in touch please consider sending a courier on horseback or perhaps contacting me through the orb

[tumbwr]

[tumbwr]

[viralthings]

Remember as days get colder animals are attracted to the warmth of cars so check wheel arches or other hiding places.

[forthehonorofgrey]

Boss you are NOT gonna BELIEVE me when i tell why i’m late to work

[midnightcowg1rl-deactivated2020]

We’re always like “we’re gonna dress like sci-fi people in the future” and then the next generation is always like yasss jeans

[marzipanandminutiae]

the 1890s thought we were all going to dress like them but with wizard hats and honestly I’m so disappointed in the 21st century

[toastbutteregg]

[thateagleguy]

[fatsexybitch]

This is funny, but I can tell you why right now without a study

Glasses give you an immediate and blinding indication if your mask is not worn properly. If you wear glasses you are more likely to secure the mask tightly to ensure you dont fog up your glasses.

And 2, no one can sneeze or cough on ur eyeballs

[snipertrifle]

I know the study hypothesized that it’s because glasses wearers don’t touch their face as much. But as a glasses wearer, I think Fatsexybitch is onto something with #1.

[mens-rights-activia]

I was thinking the glasses reduce the chances of ocular transmission or some shit but truly Fatsexybitch cracked the case

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I’ve literally spotted that phenomenon - non-glasses people never fit masks to their faces properly whilst I have No Choice, so I instantly and without question assumed the same thing as Fatsexybitch.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Stupid is timeless.

[kumboochies]

I’m that lady who’s just FEELING it

[beep-beepster]

tbh cables were like that and safety precautions weren’t hard set in yet

[10-thousand-words]

Oh wow this is horrifying

[moripartylove]

Holy shit

[bogleech]

first I was gonna reblog for the electroskelachnid and then I was going to reblog for the lady who’s just like “mm yeah electrocute me in ur web mommy” and now I’m reblogging for the beautiful nightmare that used to be power lines

[deejay]