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[seductest]

MDNI 🔞⋆ ˚｡⋆ i post mostly at @silkcobwebs

[little-lady-doeheart]

i really love 'embarassment' in this space of play, but i'm not that interested in 'humiliation'. it's kind of a narrow distinction but i'll elaborate on this more later

[little-lady-doeheart]

i suppose it's as simple as the two being essentially similiar in how they are recieved, but one deriving from cruelty and the other from kindness (within the imagined play-space). humiliation in ageplay often derives from drawing a contrast between what the subject is or is doing (being or acting childlike) and what they ought to be or do (be mature or act in a manner befitting an adult). for me personally, i am more compelled when my childishness is treated as overt, self-evident, and even banal, and i prefer to be treated with the sort of overbearing, inconsiderate and autonomy-destroying 'kindness' one associates with childhood.

reminders that i am supposed to be adult are unwelcome; they break down the fiction, disrupt my capacity to engage. while in the space, let us agree that i am a child, i am incapable, i do require care and monitoring and guidance and discipline. that i might find this distressing, embarassing and difficult to accept has no bearing on the situation. blithe ignorance of how uncomfortable, shy or embarassed i am- because in their eyes this is all perfectly natural and normal- is a really wonderful dynamic. but if this actually is gross, nonsensical, unfitting to my being a grown woman, then the entire fictive dynamic no longer makes sense to me, and i'm left more annoyed than humiliated.

when i think more carefully, i think i do see room for me to enjoy intentionally cruel humiliation within the space, but it has to be exist within the framework of 'dealing with a child' and must not disrupt that fiction (note that none of this need align with how the dominant thinks children should actually be treated, obviously). it makes no sense to mock a child for dressing childishly; that's normal!

this goes hand-in-hand with a preference that every action the dominant takes be plausibly 'for my own good', have some child-rearing justification, even if it is overtly abusive, inappropriate or simply unbearably embarassing. i am after all only small; how could i possibly understand what's best for me? smother my protests and carry on smiling. it's what i need.

[foone]

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

[foone]

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.

You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.

Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.

[foone]

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

[sleepydogdisease]

oh no, animal ears are feet

[foone]

yeah. cat ears are feet!

[dykepuffs]

Just had to talk about bondage and although what I wanted to say was "My attraction to bondage isn't so much to do with power exchange or the feeling of safety and acceptance in being still desirable while immobilised, it's about the physical materials and the sensation of them - Scratchy hemp, grippy latex, etc" instead exclaimed "My rope isn't useful, it's feet."

[bebsi-cola]

the countermeasure to dehumanisation is not sexualisation. the countermeasure is to treat the other person with respect and dignity actually.

[bebsi-cola]

i don't care if you wanna fuck fat people or hairy people or trans people or the elderly or disabled people or whatever. can you treat them like human beings

[liondrakes]

Evergreen!👇🏾

Race isn’t mentioned in this post, but I’m sure it applies regardless. Take the screenshot in context to both that and the groups mentioned above.

[soft-puppy-hole-deactivated2023]

hjsjf??? havin' thoughts this evening.

subbing is so good for me as an autistic person with anxiety.

knowing exactly what is expected of me is so good. being told clearly what my partner wants me to do... it helps me feel safer. the rules are laid out; i know where the boundaries and limits are. i know what they want me to do, when, and how. the amount of feedback and instruction i get is so so helpful to me, since i know just how to operate.

being able to relax for a bit, to not have to make decisions, is so freeing. allowing my dom to decide what's best for me, letting them take control. i often get indecisive and nervous when i have to choose between options or be the one to determine how something gets done. the ability to let go and just do as my love wants is wonderful.

..had more to say but my words are limited right now,, might add more later.

[ajewishclowninleather-deactivat]

a LOT of kink content on tumblr is fantasy and does not reflect what kink should actually be like. it is totally ok to be turned on by these fantasies and it's good to incorporate them into your sex life in safe ways. however a lot of the hot hardcore kink scenarios that make it seem like everything was spontaneous are not necessarily lying to you, but they are leaving out the "before" part. kink requires a LOT of discussion and communication. you should not forsake this part of kink because you wanna get to sex immediately because the before and after of kink are just as important, if not more, than the during.

[ace-trainer-alice]

broadly the idea that "thinking critically" about your kink would mean engaging with it less is silly.

if anything, thinking critically about your kink is a vehicle for engaging with it more and more enjoyably. figuring out what exactly about mind control, about rape, about transformation, or about anything else it is that appeals to you is the best way to know how to explore it more deeply.

and necessarily you'll have to consider the societal context, of course. however, you exist in society as part of it, so usually such things are pretty closely connected. your experiences reflect your surroundings.

in any case, I'm broadly of the opinion that all those reasons any given kink is 'problematic' should be viewed like bruises to press on. places to explore and see if you find something that hurts good. to do anything less would be boring.

[celestedoesregress]

everything is about regression, except regression which is about disability

[sarinisanta]

[ace-trainer-alice]

Even if the popular and oft-maligned traditional ageplay dynamics (eg diaperplay, caregiver/little, etc) don't interest you or actively turn you off, I think that understanding the degree to which ageplay dynamics underly and interact with many supposedly "non-ageplay" erotic concepts and dynamics is essential for any complete kink education.

Why is it hot to call your partner mommy? Why is it hot to have your partner control what you wear? What imagery do you allude to to depict a partner as having reduced agency by virtue of reduced knowledge or awareness? When you speak in a harsh voice to compel a response, what are you alluding to? When you work around childhood trauma or lean into that trauma, what does the potential invocation of that trauma say about how the kink dynamic is viewed? Why are age gaps hot? What does the word 'brat' imply? What does spanking allude to?

To be clear, this isn't just true of kink, but this is a kink blog and I just want to communicate this relatively simple idea.

[sapphling]

engaging with something with informed consent using safeguards and a nuanced awareness of the cultural connotations of what you're doing and check-ins and regular discussions with your play partners is really like objectively much more a form of critical engagement with that thing than is encountering it and immediately going yuck yuck ew oh my god gross stop doing this or talking to anyone who does it immediately or you're some kind of predator sex freak 🤢 but i guess we're just all supposed to not acknowledge that for some reason

[puppygirllaika]

I'm not experienced enough to speak authoritatively of this, but I feel like if you're doing RACK stuff that's potentially harmful either physically or emotionally, both domme and sub alike should have people in their lives besides each other that they can talk to about it instead of just each other. People whom they can both trust to take it with the nuance and understanding it deserves, and to not treat it like an inherent reason to dissolve the relationship or spread information about it around. Like, if something bad happens, it's probably gonna fuck *both of you* up. and you might not have the capacity to be fully emotionally available to support each other through that right away. and having outside people to go to who you can trust to say "oof, i'm sorry that happened, I know you knew the risks but it still definitely sucks when things go sideways. let's get you healing up a bit so you can discuss it with each other safely and figure out how to move forward." seems kinda important. It feels like an important part of addressing those risks.

[desireddracula]

My blog regularly touches on male supremacy and misogyny. I want to make clear that this is all done as a fantasy between consenting adults. Whilst it's hot to play around with dark fantasies involving subverting feminism and feminist concepts as kink I am strongly against laws and systems of oppression and concerned about the increasing legal threats to the rights of women and trans people. Trans people and women deserve bodily autonomy and access to healthcare.

[stateownedslut]

As a Conscientious Misogyny-Kink Blogger it is not sufficient to merely make the occasional post proclaiming that one is actually a feminist. One must become a misandrist in between all the kink stuff. Weed out the weak.

[wizardarchetypes]

When I went to my first bdsm & kink safety introductory course I remember the instructor said something like, "in our society if you want to learn how to safely exercise, you can go to a gym with a personal trainer. if you want to learn how to swim, you can go to a pool with a lifeguard. if you want to learn to sky dive or rock climb or scuba dive or any other high-risk activity that pushes your body to its limits, there are courses for that and you don't have to hide.

but if you want to learn about sex, explore your boundaries, and learn the limits of your body in a sexual context, where can you go to do that? who can you trust to guide you without fear of being exploited? and if you're lucky enough to find space and guidance, why are you still supposed to feel ashamed?"

it's stuck with me for a long time.

[demonprincex]

accepting that no matter how ardently i hold them, my elaborate fetishistic fantasies are really just that, fantasies, that they are incapable of being realized in my actual life and that even if they weren't, they'd been fundamentally incompatible with the person that i am and something that would bring me deep stress and pain if they were to be realized, and so all that i will ever have is play pretend improv with nice people and then watching my desire dissipate like a snowflake upon a finger

[hornythougts]

As a chronic over-thinker, I like the idea of getting fucked so thoroughly that I can’t think anymore. For mental health reasons.

[kaban-bang]

[mush-gardener]