Doing your best won't look the same each day.

Child of God | Luke 15:20 | Ally | He/They

[seecretgamer]

OMG SHE SPRAYED MY BED WITH HER PERFUME I'M GONNA CRY

[seecretgamer]

My life is a constant loop of:

"I hate myself. Everyone else hates me. I am unworthy of ever feeling happiness."

*Eats something*

"Maybe I'll be ok..."

[seecretgamer]

If nobody else will love me then I'll just roll up my sleeves and do it myself.

[seecretgamer]

Do you actually like pop music or did you get made fun of for your music taste as a kid and now you only play what you think everyone else will like when you're on aux?

[seecretgamer]

Oh, you think you love me?

Prove it. Give me one fond memory you have of just the two of us.

[seecretgamer]

"Hey Mauce- shit. I mean, *Deadname*"

Me: (Smiling mercilessly) I'm winning. You called me my preferred name, and I'm winning.

[yellow-g0ache]

If I had a tail I'd wrap it around yours when we sit together. If u even care

[thorninspaceandtime]

If I had wings I'd use them to shelter you from the rain. By the way

[seecretgamer]

If I had toes I'd let you suck on them. Just so you know

[i-am-a-fish]

if you have not drank any water yet today, this is your daily reminder that you are so cute. You're so pretty. Don't let anyone let you think you aren't beautiful. keep sparkling on, superstar

[willow-imnot0kay]

hey uhhh, what about the water?

[i-am-a-fish]

the what

[hawkofjudgment]

Fish, I am dying of dehydration. Please fish there's something you aren't reminding us of.

[i-am-a-fish]

you're pretty

[funny-pictures-uk-deactivated20]

The most American thing that has ever happened

[specsthespectraldragon]

inb4 “that doesn’t look like a bald eagle” congratulations! you have been fooled by the juvenile plumage of the bald eagle. this man rescued a teenage idiot bald eagle. with a gun.

[swan2swan]

[otatma]

[darnitjack]

A true successor of Thomas Edison

[toastbutteregg]

surprise surprise

[captain-snark]

finally some good fucking salt over thomas eddison on this site

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

it’s also not even HIS money, it’s his father’s money, made from apartheid emerald mining. that money was made from the blood and suffering of countless poor people of color so the rich could wear pretty rocks.

elon musk has never done or made anything valuable or worthwhile in his life.

[ruimtetijd]

Tesla was founded in 2003 by Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning.

I think it would be funny if this fun fact became common knowledge.

[seecretgamer]

Girlfriend requirements:

□ Loves me back (optional)

[seecretgamer]

Oh to be a teenage girl that thinks Justin Bieber is singing about her.

[memeuplift]

[miraclemaya]

wahhhh wahhh im so tired you have to pick me up and carry me and move my hands for me like im some kind of doll for you to play with and you can do whatever you want to me. but you have to make me good at the games i play or ill stop letting you and then ill just leave okay?

[cungadero]

tom animal crossing nook made you work for like 3 minutes and you spit on him like this god damn

[squngious]

he forces you into debt

[cungadero]

that you literally never ever have to pay off unless you want him to build you a bigger house you floppy shoes rainbow wig ringling brothers ass bitch

[schmuddel]

Defending Tom Nook’s debt-based economy is going too far

[cungadero]

you pay it off by selling him fucking bugs and rocks go make me a balloon animal bozo

[guru--guru]

#debt-based economy #bro have u like noticed thats literally the world we live in??#honestly i WISH i had a tom nook in my life are you kidding me????#no rush to make payments just pay when you can if you intend on getting an upgrade#no INTEREST i CANNOT emphasize that enough #great reliable quality of work#always polite when speaking to me???#probably genuinely concerned with my well being????#and yall are disrespecting him like this!? #i think the fuck NOT

[duwang-but-in-new-england]

The best possible landlord is still a landlord, and stands at the top of a steep incline

[witch-apologist]

He gives you a house for free that you never have to pay back for. He’s not a fucking landlord he’s a real estate agent you dimwitted radioactive mushroom. You’re never gonna get “evicted” you have complete sovereignty over your land, can place anything and everything you can fit in the space, put up whatever decorations paint jobs and wallpapers you want. The only downside is if you want to make a large purchase from HIS STORE you gotta pay off the last large purchase (you can still buy mailboxes and fences and nice cobblestone paths)His entire backstory is that he got his heart broken by capitalism and decided to move to a small town and give people affordable housing and affordable upgrades to said housing.

And the house? The money you don’t even have to pay unless you want HIM to expand your house for you?

18,400 bells

For reference a single apple sells for 100 bells

Which means you pay for a house (really you are paying for the upgrade) for the same price as 15 dozen apples.

You are literally buying a house for the same price as 15. Dozen. Apples

Let’s put that in perspective to say. America. A honeycrisp apple at Kroger costs 1.70 each on average meaning a dozen costs around 20 dollars. Meaning the price of a house in Tom Nooks store (that once again you never even have to pay back) is equivalent to a whopping 306 dollars.

That’s it. To pay off a house and let you get renovations you have to pay less than a single months rent at any apartment.

Go throw a pie in someone’s face since you want to be a clown.

[switchnx]

That last line goes so hard.

I immediately had to go put it in Objection Maker.

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[laerugo]

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

[pansexualcake9]

would you rather me kissing you or you kissing me???

I'm a huge bottom lmao so you kissing me prob >///<

[118sexen]

smol problem...

me too ;-;

[seecretgamer]

I'll hold the back of your heads and puppet you.