Pairing: Sam x Daughter!Reader, Dean x Niece!Reader, Castiel x Platonic!Reader.
Summary: To save Dean’s life, Sam changes a big part of his past, hoping that he’d only forget memories with his college girlfriend. But, not only he changes his life, he also creates a new one.
Word Count: 2332.
Warnings: None.
A/N: Yes, I’m back after over a year and a half. I know I’m a dumbass for making y’all wait for so long, but, honestly, I want this to be a fun writing, so I try not to pressure myself. Won’t make promises. Either way, always love to know your opinions. Hope you enjoy this comeback haha!
Pressentimento
masculine noun
1.
act of feeling in advance, more through emotion than reason, the occurrence of a future fact; suspicion.
"I have a p. that this will not work"
2.
knowledge of what will happen, obtained by intuition; forecast, hunch, omen.
You still hadn't explained everything to your father nor your uncle. Cas remembered one of the episodes that occurred with you when you were younger, around ten or so. It was hard for you. Every time you tried to explain yourself, things were hard to explain. All the time, something blocked you from exposing the fear inside you, the fear of letting things out.
The way their "new" memories came to them didn't help. It was so unpredictable. Cas remembered you praying first and then, mixed memories, tiny ones, which made him assume a lot about you already; and worry as well. Dean remembered more, like the time Sam was soulless and you lived with him for months, you concluded he was remembering things by the impact they had in his life. As for Sam, well, apparently things were coming more chronologically for him, but a little late, since he also had a lot of Camila to remember.
You tried to think how to talk to them about your crisis. The big ones. It was so complicated. When it started happening, you had your godmother to help with calming down and understanding how sensible you were; but even Vanessa had to talk with the Winchesters to fully understand what made you so much stronger and sensitive. Anyway, she wouldn't help you now that she was in the list of people to whom you never existed.
Oh, and your mother...
Looking at pictures of her nowadays became an addiction. You couldn't sleep before searching a little more about her, not that you've been having much sleep or any of this helped. You wish so bad you could talk to her. And now that Sam told ya you reminded him so much of Camila, you really studied her, trying to find the resemblance.
How would you tell them there's more? More of you to worry. You wanted to wait for a time when the memories hangovers weren't so heavy on them. They were all trying to act normal, but it was obvious - you've never been at home for this long, they were never so quiet. Dean wasn't even drinking, to make sure he wouldn't be more confused.
You were lying down on your bed, trying to ease the headache. It was normal to have a day just to be tired, but after the all day just resting you still got a headache by night. Went to get a pill to make it better and when you swallow it, you realize something.
"I don't exist." You whisper to yourself.
For the first time in that day, you felt useful. Even with the headache, you got in front of the computer and started to do your thing. For some reason you got happy when you confirmed your theory.
"I was never born."
"You gotta stop thinking about that." Dean warned you.
"No, I mean... I don't exist."
The three men stared at you with confusion, you repeated.
"I don't exist."
Still nothing. The room was filled with silence while you hoped for the clicking in their minds. It never came. You sighed.
"I never existed! Never did anything!"
Sam looked at you like he was starting to worry, while holding a bowl with cereal. Just like Dean, who chewed his, probably thinking you've gone crazy.
"I don't understand why you're so excited saying it." Cas finally said.
"Isn't it obvious?" They once more, didn't react. "There are no records of me, at all. Nobody knows about me. I only left the bunker once."
"What's your point?" Dean asked.
"We should keep it that way."
"What? Why?" The brothers said together.
"Well, if nobody knows I'm here, we're in advantage. It's always good to have a secret backup, right?"
"Like... as a surprise element?" Castiel suggested, you nodded. "Y/N, you don't truly expect us to treat you like a secret weapon..."
"Hell no." Dean agreed.
"It's not like it."
"Well, I don't see your point." You father stated. "I know this seems messed up, but, we can fix it. Don't worry."
"I'm not worried, I'm thinking!" You made them quiet. "C'mon, think with me: I barely left the bunker, how could anyone know about me?"
"We know about you." Dean answered.
"But you've seen me. And your memories, are just yours, this doesn't mean the world knows about me."
"Ok, but you'll need to use an ID sometime. Or will you live forever here, inside the bunker?"
"Dean, you should know it's easier to make a fake ID look real if there isn't a real one to prove the fake one as fake."
Sam took a deep breath.
"Ok, so we leave it as it is. How much long do you think it would last?"
"Not much, I know. But at least, for a while it could be useful."
"I don't see how, Y/N. I'm not using you as my secret-spy-soldier or whatever."
"Sam is right. It's not worth it."
"Castiel?" You looked at him, only to find the agreeing look. You looked down.
"Look, how can you be sure nobody else remembers you?" The angel tried to clear your mind.
"For most people I know, I never happened. And the others, will probably only remember me when they see me, if they do. Until then..."
"That's not right." Sam interrupted. "I had this feeling about you, before we arrived on that day; like I left something behind, but I couldn't remember why."
"So did I."
"I got one your prayers for not getting news from us." You stood there, silent.
"That's it? A feeling you forgot something?!" You left for your bedroom, a little ofended they didn't listen to you. Your idea was good, logical. You genuinely thought they would see it as a good thing out of all this.
Reflecting on it, you finally notice: you may not know your family as well as before. At first it sounds crazy, but this is all crazy, ain't it? And after doing their exercise for a couple hours, thinking about your childhood, the events that crossed it and when it all began, you got yourself some questions.
You fell asleep while still thinking, trying to find logic somewhere and always getting to the same point, a lost point. Somehow while sleeping, you had no dreams, didn't wake up once; not even the fact that you were with a jacket bothered you.
"Hey, man. You good?" Dean noticed Sam squeeze his eyes.
"Yep. Just those flashbacks. I hate to have them by day, but I can't sleep no longer."
"Like a constant hangover, thank God it's not a heavy one." Sam did not answer. "Sam?"
"Right..." Sam stared at the floor, seeing stuff in his mind. He blinked multiple times after a little.
"You all right? You seem shocked. What did you remember?"
"It's just... Y/N's suggestion."
"Dude, that was today."
"Very funny!" Dean smiled a little to ease his brother. "It got me thinking. Why would she want that?"
"Honestly," Castiel entered suddenly. "I think she is trying to get something good out of this."
"Good? I see her point, but..."
"Not good." Cas interrupted, correcting himself. "Useful, at least."
"It's not as useful as she thinks." Dean says as if it's obvious.
"It's the only thing she has to offer." Castiel putted it in a weird way, but made sense. They silented for an instant. "Still, how does that has to do with your flashback, Sam?"
"I thought that maybe I should listen to her. Maybe there was a point."
"You, Sammy, considered the possibility of being saved by her?"
"Obviously not. I wondered: what if her non-existence helped her get away from this craziness. Like, she could get to any school if we put some effort."
"You concluded it fast." Cas commented.
"Well, yeah. Then I... questioned." Sam felt the gazes at him. "How did she get dragged into hunting in the first place? Why did I not stop it? And one more thing popped up: why did I leave college?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Dean couldn't understand his brother.
"Dean, if it wasn't for my anger towards Jessica's death, who knows..." He explained. "So why I left Stanford, making Camila stay behind and after weeks drop out too?"
Castiel took a seat.
"Why did you?"
Sam opened the door, showly. You were in your bed, far from his atmosphere, enjoying a rest you needed. He passed the door carefully, took a look at your room and turned the lights off. Ever since that hunt days ago, when he saw you sleep at the motel bed while he was reading about the case, the day he woke up before you and as you slept in the car coming back home, Sam felt peace as he watched you.
It was the moment he could breath easily and a little relaxed. You were resting, next to him, nothing could hurt you in your sleep. There, you were safe and wasn't leaving soon. So he couldn't help watch you once more; just stood by the door for a couple seconds, smiled at the taught of you having a break from this madness for some hours. Grabbed the door and heard your move, turning to check if he had woken ya.
"Sorry."
"Don't be." Your voice sounded lazy. "I have a light sleep."
"So do I." You nodded. You knew it. He regrets commenting it.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
"No, tell me." He understood you couldn't sleep anymore.
"You don't want to talk now."
"It's about earlier, I know." You said while rubbing your eyes. "Just spit it." He gave in and sat in your chair.
"Why do you wanna do it?"
"Why don't you?"
"Why would I?"
"You've always wanted this." He gulped.
"What? No!"
"You never wanted me to be in risk, you hated the fact I made you all vulnerable, now nobody knows I'm here. I know this isn't permanent and things can change, but for now, you could finally be at peace. Nobody knows me, none of you have to worry."
Samuel digested everything you said and got his answer prepared fastly enough.
"For a long time I asked myself if Jessica never died, would I be here? And you know, as things turned out to be, as I found out more and more throughout the years I got the answer." He paused. "I would. Because if it wasn't Jess, it would be Dean or dad, or a friend."
"What do you mean?"
"I left college for revenge." You got surprised. "It wasn't Jess. Not anymore." That sounded weird. "I made a choice and I know now that somehow, at some point, no matter how many times... I would make that choice again. As soon as somebody I care about got in danger. So I left college. For you."
Sam got back from his first hunt after two years. Camila was waiting. They talked and she was serious when she told him to call Dean. Leave as soon as he could. She said she had a bad feeling, he had to find his father. Was something repentine, fast and clear - the fear in her voice stopped Sam from questioning.
"The way she talked to me... her eyes, getting sudden tears. At first I tried to calm her, jokes on me, I blamed her hormones. Camila proved me wrong. I knew she had that sometimes, like with tests or bad decisions, maybe something simple like knowing staying in was better than going to a party. She was always right. If not totally right, fast enough to avoid regret." He looked down as her voice came to his head and repeated her words. "'This is your family we're talking about, Samuel! Your child's grandfather.' She screamed. I was scared." You two laughed a little. "She begged. Aggressively. But, I didn't leave because she did."
"Why then?"
"I called Dean to get back there and pick me up because once we talked, I got that bad feeling too. And was suddenly afraid. Afraid something would happen to either of you." You stayed silent. "I hoped things would be more simple, soon I'd be back and things would go back to normal. You would be born and grow up, normal. We would be a family..."
"Please, don't say normal." He smiled.
"Your mother's bad feeling... I don't know what is was about exactly. She got scared too in that moment and it was the only time I saw her that scared. But I know that mine became true. Only, it was even worse. There was no blame. Of all things that happened in those months, how worried I was with my father, you, Camila and even Dean... The hunts, the confusion and overwhelming information all at once. The fear. Your mother's death was the most sudden and painful." You saw a tear run down his cheek, followed by a couple more. Sam had more to say but you spoke before, in the heat of the moment.
"She knew." He looked back at you, now with red eyes. "I think she knew something bad was going to happen."
"She knew we would be in danger." By we, he meant himself, his uncle and your grandpa.
"No. Not that. She knew that something terrible was happening already and would get worse. But she didn't tell you to go to stop it." His tears froze, lost in your words. "Like you said. Camila was always right about this bad feelings. She was certain." You were sure thanks to your own experience with it.
"About Dean needing me more than her?" You denied.
"About you needing the rest of your family once I was born."
I was watching some edits on YouTube and this frame of the throne room scene got me thinking, this came out of it:
First of all, you guys must know that in my head, after tros, they have two kids (I won't get in details 'cause it's not actually relevant right now), but it helps if you think about the theories of Rey being pregnant by the end of tros (again, you don't need to think too much about it).
Basically, she has a boy and two years and three months later, a girl (yeah, I've counted that). When she finds out about the baby, she is already trying to bring Ben back and that shit we got used to. He comes back before she has it, but stays in a coma.
I like to think he wakes up hearing her screams during birth thanks to our Holy and Sacred Force. But, of course, he doesn't know about it yet so waking up comes with a lot of information to our boy.
Long story short, they get together and somehow Ben is now dealing with his past but also, working as a true hero building a new and great galaxy for his boy. When he is already walking and talking a little, our babies get married and in that day, during the party, Rey and her son tell Ben that one more is coming.
The second one is a girl. And at the second the boy sees her for the first time, a lovely protective brother is born too. Unfortunately, some people are now knowing about the babies and suddenly they are in danger. Anyways, not in actual in danger... I mean, have you seen their parents?
So, I thought of a scene:
They are under attack (not alone) but nobody understands why and when info comes that they want the newborn girl, Ben gets angry.
"Nobody is getting any close to my daughter."
"I'm with you."
Cute. Rey is also angry and ready to fight. He likes that but is like ????
"No, you stay."
"I won't stay here wasting time, I'll fight!"
"You can't come."
They are in some kind of living room while the kids are asleep close by. There are not too many to fight with them.
Rey was almost saying something again, but he is faster, trying to be clear and not desperate when he speaks.
"Rey, she still needs somebody to hold her."
Rey knows that. She is THE mother. But she knows what she is doing. She answers eye to eye, as confident as she can be:
"I did not feel the pain of birth twice for nothing."
He gets it. It's a hard decision, but they know he can do it. They need to be strong and trust the Force.
So they go and fight together while the baby #1 watches out for baby #2 as if he was a grown up.
-
I know it's crazy but to me, Rey would have that attitude. She trusts that they will deal with everything and she trusts her son that much. She knows they'll be fine and with her, Ben will be invincible. Also, they are aware of how strong their kids will have to be.
This event passes. And turns out they are right. The siblings grow together as best friends, always looking out not just for each other, but their parents two.
Rey’s lightsaber practice and the showdown on Crait; or, that time that Luke recognized that Rey was using Ben’s fighting style
I don’t have the patience or fortitude for a long meta, but I watched TLJ again today (the first time since the last time I saw it in the cinema), and something occurred to me that seems really obvious but that I hadn’t noticed before and that I haven’t seen others mention (apologies if I have missed meta that talk about this). It’s the scene on Ahch-To when Rey is practicing with the lightsaber. Luke is watching her practice, and he gets this look on his face.
I’d noticed it before and hadn’t thought much of it, but this time it struck me that he probably recognizes her fighting style, because it’s Ben’s. We’re all familiar with this idea - that during their showdown on Starkiller Base Rey dipped into Kylo’s mind and borrowed his fighting knowledge - and I think this reaction from Luke is further proof of this.
I went looking for parallel examples of Ben’s lightsaber technique to back this up, and I found it in an interesting place: his showdown with Luke on Crait. (My gifs are a little slow, but I think that’s okay since it makes their movements a bit easier to see.)
First, Rey opens her practice by holding her lightsaber straight ahead.
So does Ben.
Then she moves into some backhand swings.
So does Ben. (Note that Luke anticipates his move - Luke trained him, so presumably he knows what he’s going to do.)
Rey follows up the backhand swings with a bunch of two-handed swingy chops. She’s pretty intense. (It’s after this that Luke makes the face in the gif up top.) (And check out her face, she’s all GRRRR, I love it.)
Ben: SWING CHOP CHOP (two hands!)
Finally, Rey gets a little too into it and slices through the stone outcropping.
And what is it that Ben does? Uh huh.
So I started this wanting to prove that Luke recognizes Ben’s fighting style in Rey, and I think that is definitely the case, but at the same time I think I’ve also shown that Rey’s lightsaber practice is a foreshadowing of the showdown between Luke and Ben on Crait. If that isn’t very cool, I don’t know what is.
I really, really, really love this movie.
(If there are other analyses along these lines please tag me on them, because I haven’t seen them but I don’t read a lot of meta. Oversights are my own and are accidental.)
So, I just spent the last 3 hours writing a reylo hc as a part 2 to my last one and I lost EVERYTHING bc tumblr did not save the draft. It was huge and I was really proud of it.
It's been a week and one day, how are you all in those post-TROS support groups?
Well, I was here chilling and had an idea that was born from our thousands theories. So, bora lá!
Before I say what I'm thinking, let's agree in a couple of things:
Ben is alive. don't @ me
Balance is NOT restored.
Won't be easy to do that.
Won't be easy for the galaxy to Rise again.
The kids (most) sensitive to the Force are out there.
Ok, here's my theory:
Rey is pregnant with a Force child. Now, this seems crazy I KNOW. But, I've been talking/thinking about it, so PLEASE read these posts before you continue.
Theory.
Doubt 1.
Doubt 2.
Doubt 3.
Also, this post is AMAZING. 100% accurate. I believe can help too.
This are my ideas more organized, but let's call it prologue 'cause this shit screams fanfic material.
Rey finds out she's pregnant. Confusion, fear, acceptance and happiness, one more purpose to our girl. She loves the baby at first instinct. She does not know much about how it happened or why, but that doesn’t matter. It’s her child, she will protect at all costs. Yet, Rey is afraid and lost, being so young and a mother, without much guidance or idea of what is like to have a parent in your most young days, makes her insecure.
While pregnant (I imagine until the 6th month of pregnancy at maximum) she is searching and studying about how to bring Ben back.
She brings him back from the WBW, but he is very weak, needs immediate medical attention and stays in some kind of coma for a while (couple months, really).
Rey goes into labor, it’s a hard one, painful. She cries because it hurts physically, but mostly because she is scared of not being strong enough to do it. She is so emotional and terrified.
At some point, she is sobbing desperately. Rose, who’s by her side, holding her hand and drying her sweat, gives her the words. Rey knows she has that power, she is the only one who can birth this baby.
Couple more pains, couples more tears. ONE LOUD AND FINAL SCREAM.
“Rey!”, Ben wakes up in a beat. He jumps. Stronger, but he shouldn’t be up just yet. “Rey!”. He’s confused but certain of one thing: Rey was in pain. He needs to find her. Then, the doctors come, try to calm him. “Where’s Rey?”. It’s the only thing he asks.
Poe shows up. It’s awkward for a moment, but both of them can only think of Rey. “She’s fine, man. She’s resting.”
Rey sees her baby. A boy with a lot of hair, darker than hers. She feels so complete, again. Not much after, she sleeps, exhausted. Stays like that long enough until Ben finds her.
He sees her through the window of her room. He has no clue she was in labor, Finn tells him. Which becomes more confusing, but is also why even with Rey at his sight this pulling in the Force still calls him.
Before they meet or Ben meets the baby, one of the nurses needs to talk to both Generals.
“When we uploaded the information of the baby’s exams, the system automatically set Rey as his mother based on her DNA information we have collected.” “So?” “The system also set the father.”
Her friends, who spent the last months supporting Rey at the maximum, go and talk once she is awake (probably after she has to feed the tiny one). They try to explain in the same words the nurse did. Before they say Ben’s name she...
“I know.”
She kinda knew already, but it was this strange and distant feeling, not as clear as seeing the baby’s face. Such a Skywalker-Solo hair, skin and traces. “I don’t know how, but it’s true.”
“Rey.” Finn starts a little worried with his friend reaction. She seems tranquil now, but who knows. “What?”, she stops looking at her son for a second. “He’s awake.”
AND FINALLY THEY MEET.
They don't hug insanely or anything, only stand there. But the baby's in the room, asleep by Rey's left. Ben is on her right side. He is still a little pale and his lips are a little bit dry. She is pale too, but looking stunning.
Basically, they're glad to see each other, both thank each other and worry about their current health. Then, Ben can't hold his tongue, having no idea how long he's gone, asks basic things that lead to Rey explaining in a simple way what she did.
"So, you saved me while pregnant?" "Actually, I was more powerful than ever. Really believe he helped me find you."
Ben knew that was a Force baby, the look in her eyes told him. He didn't mind much about it. Too glad to see her and full of this new joy, this brand new feeling.
"He has a name?"
She looks at him. She has a name but this is the first time she says it out loud. And as if she had called him, the boy wakes up, calm and happy. She takes him. To see him closely, Ben ends up sitting next to Rey. He smiles so much at the sight of the little boy that it's almost a laugh.
"You wanna hold him?"
"I don't know if I should." Ben wants to, but it's a little shy about it, feeling this weird bond between him and the baby. Rey senses it.
They look in each others eyes for seconds and lean slowly for a sweet and calm kiss. Once they separate, they keep glancing at each other. Until she finally says:
"He wants you to." Perfect choose of words. In a second, Ben is up again.
As soon as he grabs the little human in his big hands, Ben smiles from ear to ear. He shows his teeth and the first tears fall out his eyes. For a quarter of second it's like Rey and the rest of the place vanishes, the most important part of her was in his hands and he saw so much looking at a brand new life.
Rey watched the scene and cried as well, nothing could stop the truth. The will of the Force. This thirst for balance. She took a deep breath. "Ben, according to his DNA..."
"Don't worry." Ben interrupted. He knew what she was going to say. Rey saw Ben everytime she looked at her son, Ben saw his entire family and felt Rey's endless essence. "I won't interfere."
"What do you mean? Look at him. It's like having an almost exact copy of you. You can't deny it."
"I'm not denying it." Still holding his son for this precious couple of minutes, in which he could protect him, Ben was making the hard decision. He looked at Rey, "He is yours. Your child." Now, his tears were most sadness, just happy that boy got the best mom he could ever have.
The Force knows it's ways and that's why
"Ben, we are one. Remember? This child could never only be mine. He was born from our bond. I don't know how or why, but I don't care!" She was sobbing, felt sad Ben still thought this, not baring the idea of losing him again. "I have you two with me now." She said firmly, demanding this. "You're not going anywhere, Ben Solo. We have a kid to take care of."
Once again, he smiled. Not the same smile she saw when they first kissed, several months ago, a even better one. He wanted to take her in his arms, but somehow he already did. Between Ben and Rey, no words needed. He was filled with joy when he looked again at the baby and saw his son's eyes looking at him. So comfortable there, close to his chest. Still crying, feeling the biggest and purest emotions, Ben finally calmed down a little to say "Hi! How are you? Did you take care of mommy while I wasn't here? What?!"
"What?!" Rey repeated worried, didn't realized Ben was pretending the baby was answering him. "Oh right. She really knows how to take care of herself." He laughed, too happy to care if it was cheesy at all. "She will be the best mom to you." His voice was soft, sweet and calm. "And I promise, nothing will ever stop me from being your father."
Rey was sure this was the happiest day of her life. Ben kissed softly the baby, feeling his smell before handing it back to his mother. She tried to stop the tears, but it was harder for her. From Ben's point of view she looked so perfect, spreading love, light and affection in the most natural and spontaneous way. With the one they both loved the most in her arms.
"I'm can't believe you're actually here." She looked up to Ben who was holding her face, smiled and took a deep breath, relieved they were both just fine, with her. Again, turned to see her best gift, blinking as if it was a curious and fun thing to do, discovering bit by bit, what is like to be alive. "Can't believe I have you both."
He kissed her temple and she allowed herself to lay on his chest. Relaxed for the first time in months, while he appreciated the simple and perfect view.
"I don't plan on going anywhere, sweetheart."
Guys, please let me know what you think. Should I continue it?
Resurrection themes have always surrounded Kylo/Ben’s journey, and I think that his journey is not at an end. The resurrection theme is still in play and is implied in multiple ways throughout the trilogy.
The Cross-guard Saber
There has certainly been heavy symbolism in the design of Kylo’s saber. Cross-guard swords were designed in the Medieval times to protect the wielder’s hand. With Kylo this principle was inverted. The cross-guard saber, unlike the blade, offers no protection and only increases the danger of self-harm, and the self-harm and self-destruction have been an ongoing motif for Kylo. In some ways, the cross-guard was a sign of knights/chivalry. In this case, it was an indication of his chivalry and protection, particularly towards the lady (Rey). Now, for the purpose of this meta, the final theme of the cross-guard carries the most weight: the religious themes of the fall of Lucifer and the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. Initially Kylo represents the fallen angel who was cast out of heaven (The Jedi Temple) by God the father (Luke) and the padawans (fellow angels). At the end of the trilogy, Kylo transforms back into Ben to serve as a Christ-like figure. Palpatine throws him into the pit (the descent to hell and the harrowing of hell) and he ascends again to save Rey (sacrificing himself for the sins of his predecessors). Now that he has ascended from the Earth plane and entered purgatory (world between worlds) we start to see Dante’s Divine Comedy (purgatorio) themes. The final resurrection of Ben Solo would be a remerge of the soul, and half of it lives in Rey. The sins are being resolved/absolved in purgatory (world between worlds), and Ben’s soul will be reunited with its other half in the land of the living and then they will finally depart the earthly plane together, as a whole, and ascend back to heaven.
The Dyad, the Cosmic Force, and the Living Force
The word “Dyad,” which is derived from the Greek dyás (δυάς) meaning “pair,” is the most basic human social group. The dyad is the absolute foundational human relationship, whether it’s husband and wife, parent and child, or teacher and student. No social group could come to exist without this foundational connection.
The Dyad also represents the duality of nature. Light and dark, black and white, night and day, masculine and feminine. One may not exist without the other, for one only exists at the contrasting juxtaposition of the other, and vice versa. There would be no light if the darkness didn’t exist as the contrast. There would be no masculine were there no feminine to provide the contrast, etc. A dyad in the force carries the same principle; there is no balance or even the existence of the duality of the light and the dark if the two parts of the whole aren’t in coexistence. And currently, the force isn’t in balance due to half of the dyad not existing with the living force. Unless the dyad is made complete again, the living force will once again be imbalanced, this time in the light.
Artwork source
If half of the dyad is remaining with the living force, the other half also cannot become one with the cosmic force. It will remain tethered in limbo/purgatory until reunited with its other half. Ben cannot truly pass on to become one with the force without his counterpart Rey.
A Dyad is one being split into two corporal forms. Ben and Rey are together are “the original dyad” or otherwise known as “The Prime Jedi.” Several pieces of imagery in the movies & artwork as well as references in written cannon materials have indicated that the Prime Jedi is reincarnated once more (as Ben and Rey) and that it has chosen to bring balance to the living force once more not by coming to the living world as one being but as two halves, whose coming together will achieve the balance (Keep in mind though, the foundational darkness in the Prime Jedi is not the same as the perverted darkness created by Palpatine).
A blatant reference to this ancient soul being reincarnated once more is made by Han Solo in The Last Shot:
“Little Ben looked up groggily, those dark eyes settling on Han, studying him. Han had no idea how a two-year-old could have such ancient eyes. It was as if Ben had been waiting around for a millennium to show up at just this moment in history.”
The directors have also alluded to this duality in Rey and Ben:
Two sides of the same coin
Two halves of the protagonist
It isn’t until Ben Solo is ten years old and begins his Jedi training that the other half of The Prime Jedi is reincarnated in Rey. That Rey’s birth coincided with Ben Solo’s Jedi training is a form of “activation” by the cosmic force. Now that the journey to finding balance has begun with Ben Solo’s training, the other half of the soul is born to complete the activation. The activation is however separate from the “awakening,” which doesn’t happen until “The Force Awakens.”
The Awakening does not occur until the souls come into close proximity with one another, which happens when Ben/Kylo lands on Jakku (for the first time in his life). This “Awakening” is preplanned by the soul to happen at a particular point in time before it chooses to be reincarnated. As soon as Kylo landed on Jakku, their fate & destiny are set in motion by Rey meeting BB-8, which subsequently leads to meeting Finn. Due to being affiliated with these two, Rey has to board the millennium falcon (which has curiously been on Jakku, waiting for her until the awakening), leading to a meeting with Han Solo, which brings her closer to her other half, Han Solo’s son Ben Solo. From following Han to Takodana, Rey finally meets her other half, a meeting that was destined to occur at that point in time. And also experiences her “call to serve” with the lightsaber vision.
From the very beginning, cannon materials heavily imply that these two recognize each other and that they are drawn to each other.
She had seen this man before…in a daydream. Or a nightmare.
She found herself inexplicably drawn to…to….“YOU”
The girl I’ve heard so much about
Don’t be afraid, I feel it too
These aren’t actual memories or recognition of each other from this incarnated lifetime. It is from cellular memory on the spiritual plane. Half of the soul recognizes the other half and has memories of the other half that transcend this life cycle.
Since the activation occurred on Jakku, the two halves of the soul have been subconsciously and through the cosmic force seeking to be united with each other. Like magnets drawn to each other, they seek completion. The merge of the halves officially occurs when Rey and Ben enter each other’s minds. Once the merge occurs it can no longer be undone. Once the merge begins, it keeps strengthening to bring the halves to each other, which we see in their ever-strengthening bond. The merge transcends space time, eventually strengthening to the point that the halves can enter each other’s physical surroundings.
In TLJ, we see the soul beginning to “know” the other half once more. We see Rey being drawn to the darkness and Ben being drawn to the light.
This dynamic is drawn from Taoism (Yin and Yang), Buddhism, and Gnosticism. And the imagery littered throughout the sequel trilogy (as well as the star wars universe itself) is drawn heavily from those belief systems. We see continuous parallel shots with Rey and Ben to represent this duality. Both are presented in contrasting surroundings that represent the duality of the masculine and the feminine. In many shots half of their figure is bathed in light and the other half is bathed in the darkness. This is the process of coming to “know” the memory of the other half of the soul following the merge.
At the end of TLJ we see the halves creating an unnatural separation between themselves, but this is folly because the separation is not sustainable and is not one that can be created through the living force, for the soul is merged through the cosmic force. The more they persist with trying to create this unnatural separation, the stronger the reaction becomes every time the separation fails. Therefore, when “the bond” reopens at the beginning of TROS, we see that it is stronger than ever. Objects can be transferred through the bond and can be activated on purpose by each other, which we see Ben doing several times in the beginning to try to reach Rey.
This connection is as spiritual as it is romantic. As Jason Fry explained, romance is merely the analog we have in the living force for this deep spiritual bond. In the living world, the halves of the soul finds unity through romantic coupling, which is the basis for the concept of “soulmates” or “twin flames.” This is a form of bond that cannot be broken and was destined to occur due to the soul being split in order to seek completion in the physical plane. One cannot live and be happy without the other, and we see this frustration/anger in Ben at the beginning of the movie. He has become increasingly angry and thrown-off balance into darkness once more due to being separated from his soulmate. We see that Rey is also thrown off balance and regressed completely into the light due to being separated from her soulmate. Both are incredibly frustrated at this outcome and are struggling to connect with the cosmic force due to this separation. We see this struggle in Rey from the beginning when she’s meditating and try to become one with the other Jedi but cannot achieve this until she is completely merged once more with the other half of the soul (which we finally see at the end of the film). We also see Ben struggling to reach his grandfather and other predecessors on several occasions throughout the trilogy, and although we do not see it on screen, much like Rey couldn’t have defeated Palpatine without help, Ben could not have found the strength to climb out of the pit without assistance from the cosmic force. The living force between them had dwindled (equally) and the strength of the cosmic force was necessary for Ben to climb, reach the other half, and transfer the remaining living force to revive Rey.
Now this transfer of the living force is NOT a transfer of the other half of the soul into one being. The living force is separate from the cosmic force. The soul exists in the cosmic force. Without enough living force to sustain the cosmic force of the soul in the physical plane, Ben’s soul is no longer existing in the physical plane. However, as long as the other half of the soul continues to exist in the physical plane, becoming one with the cosmic force is not a possibility for the soul that has been split in half. This is why we do not see a force ghost for Ben. He cannot become one with the cosmic force as half a soul. Only the two of them together can become one with the cosmic force. Therefore, Ben’s half of the soul is being tethered in the in-between world (the astral plane, limbo, purgatory, world between worlds, etc) by Rey’s half of the soul remaining in the physical plane, unable to become one with the cosmic force or the living force due to the living force being diminished for half of the soul. The living force must be replenished in the other half of the soul during its stay in the in-between world, remerge once more with the other half on the physical plane, and depart TOGETHER at the end of the soul’s life cycle in order to become one with the cosmic force.
We even hear Palpatine allude to this: “Die together!”
Halves cannot die separately. One cannot depart while the other is still alive. Additionally, the balance is once again thrown off in the living force by only half of this great cosmic force existing on the plane. Palpatine remarked that Ben and Rey’s bond is strong enough that it is a form of life in itself. By only Rey existing in the physical plane, the scale is once again tipped, this time to the light side. In order for balance to attained fully, Ben Solo must be resurrected and reunited with his other half, Rey.
We only see Rey rising in TROS. We do not see Ben rising. “Darkness rises and light to meet it.” Conversely, if the light must rise, so must darkness to meet it in order to achieve balance. Therefore, Ben must “rise” once more in the physical plane for the cycle to be complete.
The World Between Worlds
In Rebels, we are introduced to the concept of “The World Between Worlds.” Although not infinite like the cosmic force, the WBW is not constrained by the laws of space time. On this plane, anything that has ever happened or will ever happen exists simultaneously, not in a linear timeline, which is how time is experienced on the physical plane.
In Rebels, when he enters the WBW, Ezra sees Ashoka battling Darth Vader (which occurs in the past on the the linear timeline of the physical plane). In order to save Ashoka from her impending death at the final blow by Darth Vader, he pulls her through a doorway/portal which brings them both back to the physical plane, with Ashoka alive again. To clarify, the souls who have already become one with the cosmic force cannot be returned to the physical plane and the living force unless they choose to reincarnate. Only the souls who are trapped in the in-between world may be brought back by another to the living world. Those who are one with the cosmic force can return to influence the physical plane as “force ghosts,” but those who are in the in between world cannot do this. They are essentially trapped in the world between worlds until they are either merged with the cosmic force or “resurrected” in the living force. We do not see a force ghost for Ben, which indicates that he is not one with the cosmic force and is currently trapped/tethered in the world between worlds.
Another movie that explores this higher dimension in depth is Interstellar. Cooper is drawn into a “world between worlds” or a dimension higher than the physical plane through a black hole, in which time does not exist in a linear fashion. All of the moments that have happened or will ever happen in his daughter Murph’s bedroom are organized into a tesseract system by beings of higher dimensions so that cooper (a being of only three dimensions) may influence these events and send Murph messages through manipulating gravity within her bedroom.
Other hints or foreshadowing of Ben not being one with the cosmic force after he vanishes
“My son is alive.” -Han Solo in TFA and TROS
This quote in particular is emphasized throughout the trilogy. While it means that Ben Solo can still be redeemed, like many statements in the sequel trilogy, it has a double meaning. This is also a foreshadow that Ben is still “alive.”
“Skywalker lives! As long as he does, HOPE lives in the galaxy!” - Snoke in TLJ
Many of us have noted how this “Snoke-ism” was referring to Ben, particularly because he pops into the frame as soon as the word “hope” is said. This is also another multi-meaning foreshadow. Hope cannot exist in the galaxy if Ben isn’t in the living world, reunited with his half.
“The last Skywalker.” - Palpatine referring to Ben in The Rise of Skywalker
Although we are all rightfully disgruntled about Rey taking on the Skywalker name, the title was not meant to refer to her. Particularly when paired with Palpatine’s description of Ben as the last Skywalker, the title of the movie is rather curious. Much like many other statements, it is likely a foreshadowing of Ben’s eventual rise to complete the “Skywalker” together with Rey.
“The Story Lives Forever.” - TROS trailer over a shot of Ben and Rey
Another foreshadowing that although the saga is ending, the characters that the trilogy is about does not end. This phrase was not put over a shot of Rey, but over both Ben AND Rey, which can only imply that their story won’t be over at the conclusion of the saga.
“We’re not done yet.” - Kylo to Rey in TFA
A really early foreshadow that Ben and Rey aren’t “done yet.” The story is not “done yet.”
“I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise.” - Rey’s dream in TFA novel
Many of us have picked up on the similarity to Han Solo in that term of endearment. It is believed in many cultures and belief systems that we enter higher dimensions in our dreams. Some claim of accessing the astral plane through their dreams. In this dream when Rey hears this, she goes looking for the person who said it and comes face to face with Ben. Ben only exists in her future in this life cycle so this was Rey being attuned to a dimension not limited by space time. And we know that even though Rey appears to be upset about Ben’s “passing,” she doesn’t seem distraught, which she absolutely would be if she started sobbing so strongly when she stabbed him on the death star. This statement was said by Ben to Rey after they kissed through their bond before he leaves her. This is why Rey is not distraught. She knows that this parting is not their end due to this assurance.
“No one’s ever really gone.” - Luke in TLJ referring to Ben
This is another multi-meaning foreshadow that was on the surface referring to Ben’s return from the persona of Kylo Ren but is also a foreshadow about Ben not really being “gone” at the end of TROS.
The multiple instances of healing and resurrection we see in TROS
Many are healed and resurrected both physically and spiritually: The creature, Ben Solo, Palpatine, and Rey. All of this resurrection foreshadows that the last Skywalker can also be resurrected.
In any case, “Hope is like the Sun. If you only believe in it when you see it, you’ll never make it through the night.” -General Leia Organa
I’m so glad that this meta is spreading some much-needed hope and positivity!
Another reminder though…if you want to see this in cannon, please screenshot & pitch it to story group. I would do it but I’m not on twitter. Even if they don’t incorporate any of these specifics they will see that fans are passionate about Ben’s return.
So if Reylo had a kid, would it have their DNA? Or would it just be a child of the force they created?
It would have their DNA. Anakin had Shmi's and hers only.
This one would have Rey's DNA and as she and Ben are one, it would also have his. Especially because, their bond is the reason why the Force creates this baby.
They don't create this baby, Ben does not put a baby in her belly, but as it's a will of the Force, it happens in that moment. Still, it's all the Force's doing. I'm not saying he smiles because he knows or she kisses him because she knows. None of them has idea.
I truly believe that if it happened, Rey would take a couple weeks to find out, she would become even more sensitive to the Force (just like Padmé pregnant with twice times Ani's midichlorians, Rey would have hers, and a plus of hers and Ben's combined together).
She would feel this life, this presence. She would be confused and scared. Not having sure, but kinda knows.
Maybe she would have visions/dreams of a little child calling someone, she could not see clearly and was weird.
Obviously, she would find out and tell her close friends, still so scared, having no idea what's happening or why, what she will do and being so sensitive (and poweful). Rey is terrified, she is so young and has no idea how she will do it, but she also knows she is not alone.
She tries to make contact with Ben in the Force, but can't, because he is in the WBW, which makes her sad.
She stays strong, trying to understand everything, trying to find him and bring him back.
He comes back, even more lost than her.
At this time she is already almost having it.
He is still weak and needs time to recover. Some weeks, maybe.
She gets in labor, it's a painful one and she is so afraid something happens to the baby. Ben wakes up listening to her screams (like Leia and Luke listened to each other), he is not 100%, but nothing stops him and when he finally gets to her...
There's the baby.
She's crying like crazy, happy and relieved. He gets all emotional and already feels a special connection with the baby, cries even more than her.
She sleeps, tired, before Ben gets to the room.
When she wakes he is by her side, waiting. Watching her.
He finally gets to hold the baby and it's so weird how they look alike. Ben cries again, feels happier than ever.
He passes the little one to her, she is starting to think of names. When she tells him, they kiss.
Previous anon from Reylo baby ask here. I apologize; I just don't understand how Force conception works. If you are ok with it, could you explain it to me?
Don’t worry. It’s totally ok. My pleasure to do it.
So, I hope you are familiar with the midichlorians, they live inside every living cells, they are in everything, everyone, everywhere. Maybe, you are familiar with the “omnipresent” term, used in many religions. Good term.
So, first thing: the midichlorians are the Force. If you are still very confused about this concept, I think The Phantom Menace is the one movie to understand it better, and you will also refresh your mind about how Anakin was born.
Anakin Skywalker, was conceived by the midichlorians, he had no father. It was a will of the Force. Literally a son of the Force. For the Jedi, that was one of the things that prooved him as The Chosen One. He was born to bring BALANCE to the Force.
For me, it’s very clear that if the Force conceives a baby, it’s one of a kind and it will be one very sensitive. With a purpose, a destiny. But, as the Force is everyone, everything, everywhere, people interfere.
“Always in motion, is the future.” - Yoda.
Anakin was supposed to bring balance, that didn’t happen. But, the balance is what the Force always seek. Life and death, light and dark. Like Rey sees in the Sacred Island in TLJ.
The Dyad between Rey and Ben, is a balance. Both have light and dark inside them and together, they get in perfect sync. They either live together or die together, they are ONE soul.
Now, I don’t see how Rey on her own would bring balance. How Ben dies 100% and everything is just fine.
Their kid wouldn’t be like a second chosen one, because balance is not about one person, it’s about everyone. So, maybe the Force conceives a kid there, knowing Leia is giving all the Life Force she had left to her son and he will come back.
He and Rey would be scared, having no idea how to be parents. Would never be perfect one, no one is, but they try to balance things. And the baby does it as well, having bad and good inside him like every single thing.
Also, all the time the Force connected Kylo and Rey together, like they are supposed to be together somehow. And their bond ends up creating a new soul, not that Ben dies to become a baby inside Rey’s uterus. NO.
Basically, a Force baby always has a purpose, a reason, the Force knows that from that moment forward this new life will be needed, no matter what. Not like anyone has control of what happens, it’s just a natural process of life and balance.
(makes sense to me and I’m sorry, not a good teacher, but always here if you wanna talk about it, hope it helps you).
When you talk about a Reylo baby, you mean a baby created through the force bond alone, right? Because I'm wondering if the existence of a Reylo baby would imply they had sex off-screen at some point in that one year span.
You mean as if I'm saying they f****d before?
Definitely not!
I really believe it would be like Anakin, Rey would have no idea for a while. But unlike Ani, this one would have a father.
I know it's confusing so, I'll put it on topics:
The first thing that comes to my mind is Palpatine saying that they either live together or die together.
All the things about their bond.
So, it's like the Force conceived a baby in this moment because it was the most beautiful moment they had together. And their bond is so deep and powerful.
And this happens through Ben, like the Force uses him as a way for it to get to Rey. This "Force Baby" needs a highway to get to her and as Ben is saving her, he is the highway.
They have no idea about it.
But eventually Rey would find out, probably think that this is just a Force baby, not related to Ben and she is just having delusions because she misses him and can't reach him in the Force.
That's also because Leia passed all the Force she had left to her son, who is simultaneously trying to come back to life (not even close to know he is about to be a Papa).
But then it comes the day this lil' Solo is born and it looks so much like Ben, that no one can deny he is the father.
Ben comes back in time to see how tiny the cutie looks in his hands.
So yes, a Force baby, decision of the Force, destiny the Force puts in to both of them. But a DNA would say "Congrats, you are the father".
[Wait this became a headcanon?¿]
(anonymous, if this is not what you're asking, send me another ask I will answer right away)
First of all: fanfiction is about a writer training. Sometimes, writers take an inspiration to start something. Sometimes, theories are based on what could happen.
Second: Nobody is throwing shit at Robin. If you guys read a little, you'll see the imagines/hcs mentioning Robin having a girlfriend/female date.
Third: Maybe, a young girl identifies with Robin's personality and she must knows that liking a girl doesn't mean she is lesbian and tomorrow she might fall in love and identify as a bi, pan or literally WHATEVER.
Also: It's okay to shipp straight x straight, gay × gay, bc once you imagine, the characther is yours, you can even create a all new thing from it.
Remember: When you shipp a couple, they can or cannot get together. What you think romantic is up to you.
Most important: Why would you throw hate at people who are being totally clear about their respect over Robin or any other LBGT character?
Pls, calm down. People just need to put their creativity out. In the end, Robin will be what she is and nobody here can change that.
I don't mean to offend, I just don't see a point at fighting over this and/or making writers confused and bad about what they've created. Hope everyone enjoys this incredible character.
Pairing: Sam x Daughter!Reader, Dean x Niece!Reader, Castiel x Platonic!Reader, Sam x OC.
Summary: To save Dean’s life, Sam changes a big part of his past, hoping that he’d only forget memories with his college girlfriend. But, not only he changes his life, he also creates a new one.
Word Count: 2380.
Warnings: None.
A/N: Hey, after months I finally took a deep breath and decided to post this. Actually, I have this part written for like six or seven months. Somehow I was not motivated. Anyway, here it is and hopefully I’ll write more. Please let me know your opinions.
Sam knocked at your door and had no answer, he opened it and you were not at your bed or any other place of the bedroom. He couldn't help but walk inside and sit, hoping that energy he felt inside the place would help him talking to you somehow.
"Hey, don't forget. Make sure you'll..."
"Sam, don't worry. We'll be safe, really."
"You can't be sure of that."
"I can, believe me. Trust me, she'll be fine. You just keep doing your thing and I'll keep doing mine."
"And what's your thing?" He said joking.
"You will know when you're ready." She sounded ironic, but she was serious. "I'll make sure the house is protected and that our girl will have everything she needs. Including, godparents."
"Sure. Whatever you want."
"Good. So, talk to Dean."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am. Do you have any other suggestions?"
"I don't know if he'll accept it."
"Trust me, he will."
She just knew it.
"Castiel." You called the angel who turned around to you at the hallway. "You heard me?"
"I did. Why haven't you..."
"I'll, okay?" You interrupted. "He seemed worried and I didn't want to make everything worse." You were both screaming and shushing at each other.
"You will if you don't tell them soon. Y/N, if you know us, you must know this is not a good idea."
"You're right. I just don't know how to say it."
"Well, then draw it." You rolled your eyes. "I won't tell them." You relesed a breath of relief. "...For now."
"But..."
"No buts! You were the one who started telling it so you finish."
"It's no that easy."
"There's no reason for you to be afraid, but if you keep scrolling like that you'll have a reason to worry."
He left the hallway, leaving you with a lot of doubts and alone in the middle of the bunker. You didn't even walked before your brain started overthinking. Obviously, Cass was right, but at the same time you still had that feeling of emptiness in you, and spitting everything out wouldn't make the situation better.
"Y/N" You turned around and saw the tall guy. "Can I talk to you?" You stayed quiet, trying to focus in the present again.
"Yes."
"I went to your room, you weren't there." You started walking in his direction.
"Dean talked to you, didn't he?" He thought it was strange at first.
"Yes, he did. Did he talk to you?"
"Not actually." You paused. "Though he asked me if he calls me Hurricane." You commented confuse. Your father understood Dean better than you did.
"I wanna show you something, come here." You followed him into his bedroom.
"I think he asked you that," he said opening the door and coming in "because that's how he called you before you were born."
"Really?" How come you never knew this?
"Yes. I think it's because you came into us in a time of crisis." He turned to you. Now, you were inside.
"For us, every day is a time of crisis."
He grabbed a frame and gave it to you. You looked at it and there was a photo of you wearing one of his flannels and considering the difference between you guys, it could fit two of you in it. Still, you looked good wearing them. You were wearing high-waisted jeans shorts and a short-toned boot.
"You look good in it, you know."
"Thanks." You said still looking down. Then, there was a weird moment of silence.
"Look at this." You looked up and he was holding his smartphone in his hand. "It just suddenly appeared." He was being so nice. Sometimes you wandered if you were nice to him like he was to you. You looked at the screen and saw pictures of you two together, you and Dean, Cass, Mary, Jodie, Claire and even Crowley.
"That's interesting." You tried smiling, but he realized it was a fake one.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. Just not very surprised, the same thing happened to me."
"Photos appeared?"
"Disappeared. Numbers too." He nodded and invited you to sit by his side when he did it.
"Tell me, how are you feeling?" You looked at him and saw in his eyes that he was truly trying to make you feel better.
"I'm normal, I guess. Every day is a day of crisis but this is the first time something ends up affecting me like this."
"I've been through many things and I know one thing I'm sure of is that I don't want it to others to feel the same."
"I know."
You know. And then it hits him again, you know him and he doesn't know you. So he has to try, he needs to. He owes her that. When he found out he was doing the parenting thing without your mother, his world fell apart. They always wanted a good life with their own family and even if you came before expected, before they had their house or finished college, it was a blessing. They wanted their family and you meant they were half way there, just needed to solve a couple of problems and everything would be different, perfect as it sounded.
"Vanessa? Hi." He answered the phone anxious.
"I'm sorry we couldn't call you before, Sam is just..." She stopped, took a deep breath. "She's here." She said happy. His heart started to accelerate. He was sad he couldn't be with you mother in the labor but you were born, and that was enough. Soon he would be holding you in his arms. "She is perfect and she looks so much like you two." He was jumping of happiness inside, his smile was the biggest and the tears of joy in his eyes made Dean create some while in front of him too. "Cams named her Y/N." By the sound you yours Godmother's voice, she was smiling. "Y/N Maria Winchester." A tear went down his face. He knew she chose it because of your grandmother.
"I love it." He was breathing heavy. "Where is Camila? How is she? Is she tired?" Vanessa stayed quiet. "Vanessa?" She sniffed. "Vanessa, let me talk to her. What's going on?" Now your father was again, worried and Dean confused.
He listened carefully to the words of his lover's best friend. She explained the same thing the doctors did. She had so much pain in her, she hated being the one with the bad news. Your father saw so many different kinds of scenarios of different moments. His heart was still beating fast, but now, not filled as before. The silent tears coming down his eyes were too much for Dean to watch, he was getting desperate.
"Thanks Van, I appreciate everything you've done. Don't worry and please, call me if you need anything. Keep me updated." He said barely standing up. At that moment his weight was too much for himself.
"Take your time, I'll take care of everything. Call me."
"I will." Then, the conversation was over. He leaned back at the Impala.
"So, how's the little hurricane?" Dean asked sitting by his brother's side. "Sammy?" He was so scared by the expression he was seeing in Sam's face.
"Y/N." Was the only thing he could say. "That's the name Cams gave her, Y/N Maria Winchester."
"I love it." Dean was happy, but still worried as hell. Sam stayed quiet for a little bit. And then he couldn't handle anymore, he cried.
"She's gone, Dean. Camila is gone." He said with a trembling voice. "She died a little after labor."
It was very fast. You were born and your mother felt the biggest happiness of her life when she saw you. Minutes later she was holding you in her arms. She new not everything was fine and the labor was not easy, but she already trusted you more than anything. So she said the words she needed before giving you back to the nurse.
"Hey, sweetheart." She said crying, but with the biggest smile on her face. "I knew it. I knew you would look like Y/N." You were still a newborn, but she could clearly see how much you looked like your father and herself. "You're more strong than you can think, my girl. More powerful than you can imagine. You're blessed." There was only a doctor far from her and Vanessa waiting a little closer. "Your father will take care of you and you have to promise me you'll take care of him for me." She looked at you a little more. "I love you. I love you both." She held you for as long as she could. "Qui affecto protego, / mixtisque iubas serpentibus et posteris meis stirpique meae domum meam, / et deducet me ruunt momenta ut potest iactare servate innoxias." She said quietly while holding you close, crying and smiling. Praying for you.
The doctor took you seconds after that and she told the doctor your name, making sure it would be this one. Your mother stayed with her best friend, recovering. She made herself stop the crying and just held a lot of tears for as much as she could. She had to be strong for you and all the ones who loved you too. Camila was thinking straight and had to say everything before it was too late. Her feelings were so many, but she was a mother now. Nothing could ever stay in her way.
"Vanessa, give my necklace to her. Make sure she keeps it with her, always."
"Cams..." She started.
"It's hers now. Teach her everything you can and tell Sam about it. It has to be you. She needs her Godmother." Vanessa nodded. While she talked, she felt worried, bad and good, happy and sad. She was realistic and faced her fate fearless. She lost too much blood during the labor and after it. Was something unpredictable, and it doesn't happen often. But, she was in a risked age - women in their twenties have more chances of complications during the labors, especially the first. Sam understood that, everyone did, she did and you did too. Camila knew she would die in that day, but she also knew you were coming.
"There was no way we could know it." Sam finished explain to Dean, who had tears in his eyes. "It must have been so hard for her and I..." He breathed between his cry. "I wasn't there." He stared at the floor, feeling so much pain and anger of fate, of death itself. Why now? Of all the people, places, moments, hours and ways. Why did it have to be like that? Besides that, he was so worried and terrified. At the same time you were all the light he had, all the hope he felt, he was afraid of his mission. "What am I gonna do, Dean?" He turned to his big brother. Dean just listened and gave him lots of minutes to feel, while he felt deeply sad too.
"I bet she's so pretty." Dean broke the silence. "She is cute, for sure. But she's lucky to have both of you in her. Can't wait to see your great job with her. Count me in, Sammy. Always."
Now, somehow, Sam was so scared that not even the support Dean and Cass gave to him were stopping him from being so worried with you and how to act around you. He felt like every single thing he did or decided could affect you in a very bad way.
"Sam, I need to tell you something." You started and got up from his bed.
"Sure." He said a little nervous.
"In my reality, Vanessa told you this. But, now I'm guessing you still have no idea."
"Your mother's best friend, right?" You nodded and took a deep breath, kind of scared of speaking.
"Camila had this thing, she called sensibility. She never actually told you about it, but thanks to this gift she knew ever since she met you, that you were a hunter." Your father just payed attention. "The truth is, we come from gypsies who apparently had very powerful connections with... this world."
"Ok..." He was speechless, waiting for you to finish it.
"I lied to you, I'm sorry." He looked worried and opened his eyes even more, but tried to make sure you stayed calm. "I don't have powers only because of you." You paused. "This thing, passed to me and I have some witch abilities. But, don't freak out, I really don't use them."
"How do you know you have it?"
"It's kinda obvious."
"That you are familiar with spells?" He was worried and a little upset, but he understood you. So, he sounded soft, even if this was a surprise to him about Camila.
"I wasn't born familiar with them, I studied them in your books. I thought that, at least, it was safer if I knew a little bit about what I was doing."
"But why? If you don't use them, why you needed to know this? How is it obvious?" He was trying to understand not just you, but how he allowed you to be so deep in his world.
"Like I said, it's like a sensibility. I just guess some stuff and..." You decided to stop and sit by his side. "I never used a spell. Not once, I swear." He took a deep breath and looked at you, feeling again that endless love he couldn't explain.
"I believe you." That felt comforting for both of you. "Now, how are you for real?" You focused on the fact that he was your father, and soon or later you had to let the guard down.
"Ironically, I feel like a ghost."
"You're not a ghost." He assured you, but you felt like you finally understood the desperate in them. "Ghosts are lost and you are not, okay? You are home." The bunker never let you doubt it. But now, it was complete. So, you nodded with a sad look.
"Can I hug you?" Before you finished the question he opened his arms himself and you finally felt again how was like not being totally alone. "Thanks."
Pairing: Sam x Daughter!Reader, Dean x Niece!Reader, Castiel x Platonic!Reader, Sam x OC.
Summary: To save Dean’s life, Sam changes a big part of his past, hoping that he’d only forget memories with his college girlfriend. But, not only he changes his life, he also creates a new one.
Word Count: 2631.
Warnings: None.
A/N: This chapter is very connected with the next one, so I’ll try to post it asap. Please, tell me what you guys think or if anyone wants to be in my taglist.
When you woke up you were almost at the bunker again, making the three pair of eyes look at you. The long hours of road passed like a minute for you. There was no way someone could feel so comfortable in that old car like you did. You didn't wake once. You were not the only one who slept, Sam did a little two.
The night before, he remembered the firsts things that happened after Dean showed up at his college, how it was hard for him and your mother to deal with everything. He told her about the hunting thing and she believed in him, she said she always knew and she loved him for being who he was. She also understood when he had to leave. Other thing he remembered: telling your uncle that Camila was pregnant.
"Sammy, what is it? What are you hiding from me? I'm getting more worried with you then you already are."
"Don't say that. You have no idea how worried I am." Your father was freaking out with so much information in such a short period of time. He was almost screaming.
"I know it's not only about dad, I know you, Sam. Just tell me!" Sam stayed quiet. "You'll lie to me now?"
"It's Camila, Dean." He sat down in one of the two beds that were side by side.
"Oh please, Sam. That's all because of your college girl? Give me a break." Dean was still standing.
"She's not any girl." He tried to stay calm and relaxed.
"Don't start telling me that she's the one and bla-bla-bla."
"You know what? She is the one. I have the ring." The little brother spoke with a lot of certain in his voice.
"C'mon, man. Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious."
"Oh yeah?" Dean was getting angrier. "How can you be so sure? Tell me. Give me one reason why you should be so worried about this chick when we don't even know where our father is!" Almost screaming...
"You want a reason?!" Sam got up. "She is pregnant! I love her and she is carrying my child." Now, a scream. "We're having a baby, ok?! You wanted a reason there's your reason." Dean was shocked, he couldn't speak. No idea of how to use words. "She is going through all the first trimester sickness and doubts alone. She is there worried because of me when I shouldn't even let her worry about herself." He sat down again. "I'm screwing up with my child even before it's born, Dean."
"Sammy..." The older's voice was different now. "Wow." He was still searching for the words. "How didn't you tell me that?" He sat by your father's side. "You're going to be a dad, man... That's awesome!" He smiled at him, Sam looked up and smiled a little too. "Look at you, still have this baby face and is making babies already? That's my little brother!" He joked, making your father laugh a little bit too. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I wish you have told sooner."
"It's okay." He paused. "Anyway, it's your niece, right?"
"It's a girl?!" Dean was practically freaking out of happiness and disbelief.
"Actually," you father laughed "we don't know yet, obviously. But Camila has this thing, this weird feeling and she says it'll be a girl. Guess I just kind of got used to the idea."
"Just a reminder: Deanna it's a beautiful name."
"It is. But I think Camila has a cousin with the same name, Diana, not happening."
"Well, it can be a boy. And if it's not, Dean it's a great girl's middle name.."
"Sure. Keep trying."
"I'm proud of you, Sammy."
Dean was happy. Confused and worried too, but mostly happy. He just never thought too much about him or Sam having kids and definitely not so soon. But he was feeling such a joy with the idea of being your uncle. He knew you would bring happiness to your father, a happiness no one else, nothing else could. What he did not know yet, was that it wouldn't be like he imagined. Visits, seeing each other sometimes, being the coolest uncle of all time. He was all of that, yes. But you did not grow up under a roof with your parents with you all the time. You saw your father as much as you saw Dean while growing up and for many, many times, Dean was the only one who was there for you.
He thought being an uncle would be something new to him, but not so hard. He just had to do what he always did with Sammy. Well, he did take care of his little brother, but didn't raised him like he raised you. Given the circumstances, the uncle work had to be intensified - and he never wishes it would've been different; with you, he has the chance of being a father as well. Just like you with having double trouble with the two Winchesters - you can't imagine your life not being educated by two very different and so much alike brothers.
"Come in." You said from your bed.
"I haven't knocked yet." Dean said opening the door. "How do you...? Never mind." He closed the door. "So, what's happening?"
"What?"
"You are here since we got back, are you okay?"
"Yes." Ever since the talk you had with Sam, you decided to give them a break from you. Which means not leaving your room and being as quiet as possible.
"What were you doing?" He realized the papers on your table.
"Just looking for a school."
"Why?"
"Because I need a job." You answered sarcastically. Dean looked at you with a funny face, he really hoped for an answer.
"I'm sure Sam will take care of it. Don't worry, he's very smart." Well, obviously. "Try to rest, we never know when a hunt appears." You smiled at him, glad to finally have a feedback. "Good night." He said from your door.
"Good night." He left.He was being very nice with you and you realized how that was good. Usually, it's hard to win Dean's trust and concern about someone or something, but you did it faster than possible. Of course, he was remembering you too and getting every day a little bit more flexible with all this mess, but still, you know how he deals things and that's new. That's exclusive.
The day he first knew about you? He remembered just like your father. He also remembered the day he actually met your mother, right before she left the country, because they were trying to make sure you two would be fine.
Camila ran into your father's arms in the moment she saw him. She was just a couple of hours away from catching the flight. He held her tight, not wanting to let her go, ever. But, he knew he was doing better keeping you far. It was just the way it should be.
"I missed you." Was the first thing she said.
"Me too." He finally looked at her calmly. She did look a little different, nothing someone who was not your dad would notice, he just did know every single one of her inches. Then, his eyes fell into her belly. "Babe," he sounded so in love with that image in front of him "you're showing! Oh my God, look how this one is growing fast."
"I know." She turned to her purse. "Here." And handed him an envelope.
"What is it?" Dean finally got out the car.
"Hey!" He said still behind Sam.
"Camila, this is my brother Dean. Dean, this is Camila." She smiled at him and he did the same, a little bit shy.
"Nice to meet you."
"Equally." She said and then opened the zipper again."I got one for you too."
"Me?" Both Dean and Sam were surprised.
"I just figured you may want it. Open it." They opened their envelopes in synch and saw there were pictures of you in it. Sam's had a DVD too. They stayed quiet, staring at the photos with very different expressions.
"It's amazing." Sam could barely breath. You mother was holding tears of emotion in her eyes.
"How am I supposed to see a baby is this mess?" Dean was trying, it was just really confusing. Sam and you mother laughed.
"Right there, you stupid." Sam turned over to his big brother.
"Where?"
"Here." Still laughing, he pointed once again, longer now. Dean didn't say a word, his face said everything.
"I'm glad to finally say: I. Told. You." You mother spoke. "It's a girl!" She said excited. Your father grabbed his girlfriend in his arms and turned around a couple of times. Dean was glad too. For those minutes, they had nothing to worry about.
"So, do you really have a cousin named Diana?" Dean asked your mother.
"Well, I don't pronounce like you do, but yes."
"We won't name our girl Dean, Dean." Your father said smiling.
"What about Mary? Any Marys in your family?" Deep breaths, especially Sam.
"Only a Mariana." Dean nodded slowly.
They stayed together for some more minutes, talking, catching up. Your father tried to explain everything he could to your mother, but she said he could do it over the phone. She was really nice with Dean, who really liked her and felt extremely happy to see his brother over the moon when he was with her. Then, it was time to go.
"Dean, I'm glad I finally met you."
"Me too."
"Thank you for taking care of Sam."
"You're welcome. Thank you for doing it at college."
"My pleasure."
"If you need anything, you have my number."
"Thank you, again. I feel good knowing Sam is with you."
"Well, I feel good knowing you're the one carrying the little hurricane." She laughed and then opened her arms. He hesitated for two seconds before getting into the hug.
Your mother was a very friendly person, in five seconds she had Dean's heart. He wondered who was the girl Sam was so in love with and he was happy when he met Camila. Camila always knew she would like Dean, because she knew he was someone who you can always trust. That was the only time they ever met and Camila already was in the top of your uncle's people-he-cares-about list. The fact they never actually got to know each other, become friends, brother and sister-in-law, didn't change the fact she was your mother. And Dean would do anything to make sure you always had your mother in one piece by your side.
"The food is ready!" Dean screamed from the hallway, you were at your bedroom, just like you had been since you came back.
"Okay!" You screamed back. You waited until you were sure they've eaten, then you got into the kitchen and ate alone.
"Is it good?" You nodded when Dean got into the kitchen. "Not hungry?"
"Not so much."
"Are you upset with Sam or something?" He asked still far from you.
"No." He nodded and then left. But two seconds later, he was back, sitting in front of you.
"Hey, do I ever call you Hurricane?"
"No." You thought it strange. "Why?"
"I just had a couple of flashbacks, that's all."
Dean remembered your mother, the times when your father was worried with her and you far from him, and... the day - actually night, you were born. He remembered that he and your father have been trying to call your mother all day long, get in touch with her somehow, but they couldn't. They were worried, but the clock was ticking, always moving, just like them. Walking into Baby, your father's cell phone started ringing and both of them felt relived and anxious, so they stopped. It wasn't your mother, it was her best friend - that your father met a year or so before that day.
The feelings they had, were too much. Your father was nervous while listening to the woman at the other side of the line, but Dean interpreted your father's look and expressions. At first, he could barely talk, overwhelmed with the news of you being born. He was hearing all the details and got excited, wanted so hard to tell Dean who was right by his side. Then, suddenly the change in his expression was brutal and the tears were not from happiness anymore, at least not only. Two minutes after he hung up, Dean did not know what to do, but he was sure of one thing: his duty was getting even harder. Sam would need more help than ever, more support, some time and even more comfort then before. Your mother may have died in that night, but not for one second your father was all on his own.
"She's quiet."
"What?" Your father asked still looking at his laptop.
"Y/N, it's weird."
"Dean, we don't even know her yet. How do you know that?"
"Maybe that's why." He seated in front of his little brother. Sam took a very deep breath. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to make something about her situation. With the school and stuff. I truly don't know what she needs right now." He closed the laptop and looked at Dean, who was also clueless. "Hey, do you know what I remembered?"
"What?"
"You are her Godfather."
"Really?"
"Of course. I was little surprised too, I mean, you actually accepted and got into a catholic church not killing or fighting anything inside it."
"So the girl makes miracles." They laughed. "She should stay."
"Maybe. But what about her year?"
"If she's your kid, she'll be alright." Dean knew that was one of the moments Sam needed a reminder he's not alone.
"He's right." Castiel said coming into the room. "For a couple of weeks, at least. I mean, getting everything we don't have about her will be difficult, right?"
"For sure."
"While she's here. Let's make sure she leaves her bedroom during the day. She knows the place, she should feel comfortable in it." Cass added.
"I think we need to talk." Sam said a little sad. Castiel smiled at him, filling him with confidence.
Both of them waited. Castiel was trying to give Sam the cheering he needed through his facial expression, also thinking if there was something he could do to help. Dean had the quickest flashbacks ever, thanks to the face in front of him. The expression that deep inside was the same from that night, the same from the other when they talked about you.
"Now?" Sam's voice woke Dean up.
"Yes, of course." Castiel said. "She finished her meal and went straight to her bed. I'm sure you'll find her there." Sam stood up.
"Sammy, don't forget to say that she'll stay with us. And it includes traveling." Sam opened his mouth. "I'm not leaving her out or this bunker alone and not inside it either. She needs to stay with one of us." He was going to discuss once again but Cass interrupted.
"Sam, as long as she's here, I'll stay." He promised. "And if I'm needed, we'll figure it out.
"Just relax a little for now." Dean demanded. Sam blinked nervous, and breathed trying to calm down.
"Right. Thanks guys."
"She sings." Castiel said once your father went talk to you.
"Really?"
"A lot. Especially in the car or any other places where she listens to rock."
"Good taste." They agreed. "That's what you're remembering?"
"Yes, why?" Cass got worried.
"Because from what I can recall, she is a mess."
"Probably, she's a teenager."
"Not talking about her now." Dean explained. "Castiel, Y/N is definitely from this family." Cass smiled. "She handles it."
